Man, finally my opportunity to write one of those really long stories that proceeds a recipe is here.
Just kidding! I was asked, and it doesn't fit nicely in a Tweet, so I'm just going to write what this is and how to make it right here.
This specific rice bowl is made of:
(White/Jasmine) Rice
Bacon (mine was a cheap local brand)
Carrot (Raw)
Cucumber (Raw)
Caramelized Onions
Fried Egg
Seared Green Cabbage
Quick-Pickled Red Cabbage
Sauces: Soy and Sriracha
You only need to dirty two cooking vessels, and the entire thing probably takes 20-30 minutes to cook and assemble with the exception of the quick pickled red cabbage, which you will have to make at least 3-4 hours ahead of time if you want it. I recommend it or some other type of sour element; it really adds a lot of flavor. I have mine on hand because I just make quick-pickled things and eat them on everything or by themselves. For those who have something else they can add or wish to omit it from the recipe, you can skip this part.
Quick-Pickled Red Cabbage
(PREPARE AT LEAST 3-4 HOURS AHEAD) You will need:
Red cabbage, shredded or cut into small pieces (my first jar probably held a quarter of a cabbage head)
Two cloves of garlic, peeled
1 cup Apple cider vinegar (any vinegar works, but this is my personal recipe)
1 cup water
1 tablespoon of salt (average ol' table salt)
1 tablespoon of white sugar
A sprig or two of thyme (or you can use dried thyme)
Peppercorns, about a teaspoon full
A liberal dash of dried dill
A large heat-proof jar with a lid, like a mason jar.
Combine the vinegar, water, sugar, and salt together in a pot and heat on the stove just to a boil. While the ingredients are heating, throw literally everything else into the jar, and leave a half-inch gap from the top for safety and coverage purposes. I like to put the peppercorns in first. After the vinegar mixture comes to a boil, carefully pour it over your ingredients into the jar, you may or may not use all of the vinegar mixture. If you don't have enough, just make sure whatever water-to-vinegar mixture you use is 1:1 and heat up a little extra. Put the lid on your quick-pickles and leave on the counter to cool down, then transfer to the fridge for storage. I think they have a 2 week shelf-life (maybe longer, but you want to be safe!).
Okay, Rice Bowl Recipe Time
Ingredients:
1 cup white rice
1.75 cups of water (not hot), but using the same cup you used for your rice (this works every-time for me no matter what I do)
The quick-picked red cabbage you may have made, or a similar flavor-profile substitute
1 egg
2-3 slices of bacon
1 carrot, shaved, cut long-ways into "matchsticks"
1/3rd a cucumber, peel off, cut long-ways into "matchsticks"
1 yellow or sweet onion, sliced thin
1 small cross-section of green cabbage (or a small wedge)
Butter, for frying and a little for the rice if you're into that.
Spices: Garlic powder, salt, paprika, parsley, red pepper flake
Sauces: Soy sauce, Sriracha
First! Get your rice started. If you have a method for this, minute rice, or a rice cooker, just do your usual thing, add a dash of garlic powder to your water, and skip ahead to the rest. If you want to make rice the same way I do, I'll do a quick overview: wash and add your rice (mine is long-grain, jasmine) to a medium sized saucepan, add the water and a dash of garlic powder, give it a little stir so it's not bunched up into one side of the pot. Cover and steam on medium-high heat for 17 minutes. Do not lift the lid even if it becomes angry. Remove from heat, and fluff your rice, adding salt and butter to taste if you like that sort of thing. Put the lid back on and ignore it until assembly.
To make everything else:
While your rice is cooking, sautee your onions over medium-high heat in your skillet/frying pan in butter, with a little salt to get them to "sweat", get a light char on them and turn it down to medium heat, moving them around frequently. Cook them down till they're soft and brown, they probably take the longest. The softer you want them, the longer you need to cook them, so you may want to even start them first. My onions took maybe 12 minutes.
Remove the onions from the pan, add a little more butter if the pan is dry, and place the green cabbage flat-side down and get a nice sear on it on medium-high heat. Might take about 2 minutes. Carefully flip it and do the other-side. It will threaten to fall apart and crush your dreams, but you can put it back together like I desperately did, or just say 'hey it's gonna taste the same' and not care. Remove the cabbage from the pan.
Add your bacon, cook on medium-high heat. Depends on your preference, but I never cook bacon as long as I would bacon for breakfast. I think the flavor and texture is better with a little chew for a rice bowl, like a piece of smokey pork. Keep an eye on your bacon and just remove it when it's cooked but not going to shatter when it cools off.
Turn the temperature back down to medium and into the bacon grease, add a little pad of butter to really make sure your egg will not stick (plus it tastes good). Carefully crack your egg right into that good stuff, and cover the pan with a lid. While your egg fries, assemble your bowl (as pictured if you'd like!), rice on the bottom. After about 4 minutes, The egg should be pretty perfect. Remove the lid and carefully lift the egg out and directly into position on the food-pile. Season with paprika and parsley (specifically the egg), drizzle some sriracha over the green cabbage, sprinkle some red pepper flake over the pickled and fresh veggies, and make a secret well of soy sauce by pouring it at the edge of the rice and its contents.
Take a picture before you obliterate it, and then enjoy!