Hey so! I thought I'd give everyone an update on what's up in my life lately, especially because I know many of you are not in the Discord server. Which you easily could be! Just enable Discord connections on your Patreon account! I'm not sure how this works for free members but if you don't get a connection to the server by following me, feel free to message me on Telegram (@farorenightclaw) or through Bsky and I'll give you the invite link. I do not post it publicly due to having an issue with trolls when I tried to do that, sorry!
At any rate, updates! Things have been SUPER BUSY and very expensive. I've been working my ass off art-wise if you couldn't tell from the art packs/Discord posts (if you receive either! Become a paid member for art packs, or join my Discord to see all the web res art long before it's posted anywhere else! You can get monthly packs of all my high res art for just $1/month!!).
My wife Kana/Shiro (they've been finally experimenting with presenting as plural!) and I have also been super busy with medical appointments, especially for them - their spine is pretty much toast, it turns out they have congenital stenosis through their entire spine, including their neck. They'll need fusions in their neck most likely, but the most important thing is their lumbar spine - at L4-L5 their spinal cord is compressed down to less than 5mm and a bad fall or bending/twisting the wrong way could paralyze them :S they're also in constant intense pain and can barely stand or walk, they're using a cane when we're out of the house and at home I do most of the ups and downs for them, doing all the cooking and cleaning, bringing them drinks and food, helping them get ready in the morning etc. And they're having other symptoms from having severely pinched nerves that I won't get into here. The surgeon we've been talking to is very worried, and after an appointment yesterday (which we waited two hours for, doctors are nuts), it's been decided that we're aiming for a laminectomy for Kana/Shiro's entire lumbar spine + T12, hopefully in the week of May 20th. The surgeon is rushing to get them in surgery because of how dangerous the stenosis is and how much their quality of life has degraded. Thankfully all the medical appointments plus our usual battery of pharmaceutical bills means that Kana/Shiro's out-of-pocket maximum will be hit in about $150, so with getting labs, the pre-op appointment, and any meds we have to pick up between now and the surgery date, the cost of the surgery should be $100 at most - and then they'll have free medical care and prescriptions for the rest of the year, which is going to be insanely helpful for our finances, especially since there's a lot more doctor appointments, physical therapy, etc in their near future. Ideally they'll get the neck fusion this year too and that'll also be free. I myself am only $50 away from my out-of-pocket maximum so the next pharmacy trip should knock me into free healthcare this year as well, thanks to an fruitless hospital visit back in January when I and the helpful nurse line lady thought I was having a cardiac event and it turned out to just be 'we don't know, probably just an esophageal spasm'. :/
We've got other financial bonuses this year - Kana/Shiro got a small raise, and we were able to arrange a payment plan for our taxes with the IRS (which is good because they were over $3k). We're eating out way less after a commitment that we will only eat out if we actually leave the house to get it, as opposed to getting delivery all the time and paying through the nose for extra fees and such (thanks DoorDash). Kana/Shiro has agoraphobia on top of the physical pain that keeps them out of commission sometimes, so we're limited by whether or not they're up for leaving the house (especially since they drive and I do not), and as a result we've been eating out much less as I said. I'm cooking a lot more since finding the right meds balance FINALLY, I have way more spoons and I'm enjoying creative pursuits like cooking and personal art a lot more. And when I'm not up for cooking, we've been getting a lot of quick food like ramen, canned soup, sandwich fixings, bagels, snackable veggies, etc on hand, so we still don't need to eat out even on days I don't feel like cooking or don't have time for it (some days I only have an hour or two for dinner and anything else I need to do that isn't work!).
Things are going well relationship-wise, I've been attending classes on mental health & neurodiversity & kink/BDSM and it's inspired me to start signing up for a bunch more classes to learn more tips and techniques for healthy and satisfying lifestyle D/s (Kana/Shiro and I are in a lifestyle D/s relationship, for those who don't know - I'm their Sir and they're my pets). We've also found our local MAsT chapter (Masters And slaves Together - a D/s, M/s, O/p, and authority transfer relationship support group) meets monthly at our favorite restaurant! So as soon as health allows, we're going to start attending those and hopefully make some new friends! We plan to start hanging out with Hale's friends in Seattle as soon as possible as well, so it'll be nice to be finally making some IRL friends other than Hale (as much as we love her, 4 years with nobody outside our polycule to socialize with for big swaths of it kinda sucks). Hale and I have been working on our relationship as well and are taking big steps to improve it and feel more healthy and secure together. It's very good news all round when it comes to connecting with my partners!
I've been working on my self-care as well, going to the gym every other day or so, showering regularly (hygiene was a big issue before I got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder - basically a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder - a common schizophrenia-spectrum symptom is struggling with hygiene in general and I would frequently go months without showering or brushing my teeth - it was unpleasant!), eating healthier and more mindfully, trying to balance social connections with productivity, making the most of my special interests and favorite activities, getting out of the house more, and just generally trying to practice more gratitude and being more present. I've had some big realizations about myself over the past year and I've been putting in work on those points to improve my health (both mental and physical), my social life, my relationships, my work - everything. It feels so much better to be taking care of myself, even just in little ways. I know that all too often 'self-care' ends up being touted for things like spa days, food indulgences, naps, painting your nails, watching comforting media, etc, and I'm doing that kind of thing too, but I think the really important self-care is really just caring for yourself, doing the things you need to do to have a good life and good health, making yourself do the hard stuff that you know is good for you. That's been my biggest focus lately, just doing the needful to make sure things run smoothly and everyone around me, including myself, is as happy and comfortable as possible. So far, so good!
That's about it for this blog ramble, hope you found it interesting! Feel free to comment with questions or thoughts, or drop some on the Discord server, or message me on Telegram (again, that's @farorenightclaw) to chat! I love hearing from you guys, paid and free members both. If you want to see more of these blog posts, or have any other things you'd like to see on Patreon, let me know about that too!
Thanks for reading! Have a fantastic week and I hope to see yall at my Saturday stream! I'm going to start posting notifications for it to my Patreon here as public posts so keep an eye out for that, or follow me on Picarto, FA, or Bsky to get notifications when I go live. Byeee~