Here's the blog post I put on FA on May 31, if you missed it!
Hey guys! So if you hadn't picked up on it from some of the art I've been uploading recently, you should probably know that my wife, CassioBunny, had a surgery last week. Due to extreme spinal stenosis, she had a T12 - L5 laminectomy - we've been joking that they gave her spine a sunroof, essentially the back third of her lower back vertebrae were removed. It sounds intense but it's actually a pretty safe and routine surgery. She was under for 4.5 hours and came out in flying colors, and she's been healing very well, and is due to get the staples taken out in a week, and to start physical therapy in the beginning of July.Things should be going well, but they're really not. To start with, the hospital gave Cassio the wrong kind of hospital bed. For those who haven't seen photos or met her in person - Cassio is heavyset, and 6'8". A regular sized hospital bed wasn't going to cut it. She should have gotten a bariatric bed, but she didn't. So, she was stuck in a bed that was too short and didn't have enough padding. She couldn't stretch out and had to spend two days in the hospital curled up and constantly tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable even though she should have been resting. The nurses' solution to this was just to say 'there's nothing we can do' and give her more painkillers. She was also, as I mentioned, in the hospital for 2 days - she was supposed to only be there overnight, but in the morning her surgeon came to see her and said her wound was draining too heavily.. and then nobody checked on it the rest of the day, or came in for any reason other than to give her painkillers when I complained about the uncomfortable bed that was starting to cause her a lot of muscle pain. My girlfriend Hale (who was there for moral support and also to drive, as I do not drive and obviously Cassio couldn't) and I waited at the hospital all day, only to be told at the end of visiting hours that Cassio would have to stay another day because 'her wound was still draining too heavily'. The nurse who had come to check the drain one time, early in the morning after the surgeon had left, before Hale and I got there, told Cassio that she didn't know if the wound was draining too much or not and it was up to the surgeon to say when she could be discharged. Obviously, the surgeon never came back to check on her. It was extremely frustrating.Once we got home, Cassio was in extreme muscle pain for about three days, needing painkillers to help her sleep and let her body return to normal by relaxing in our comfortable bed and stretching out properly while actually being supported. Hale stayed with us until she was able to be up and move around for a significant portion of the day, but couldn't stay indefinitely, so we sent her home last weekend. It seemed like things were going well. Hale promised to come back if we needed to go to appointments or needed any help before Cassio was able to fully be off painkillers and drive etc. So far so good.Except for one thing. When Cassio came out of surgery, her hands were numb. The surgeon acted like it wasn't a big deal, saying that if they weren't better in a few days, let him know and he would refer us to a hand specialist. Every time we told a nurse about it, they went 'oh' and then didn't say anything else. Over the next few days, sensation slowly started to return. Then.. oh boy, did it. Cassio started experiencing nerve sensations ranging from 'tv static' to 'angry bees' in her arms from elbows to fingertips. On top of this, she had pain that ranged from a 3 to a full 10 on the 0 - 10 pain scale. At times she was writhing in bed crying over it, and she has such a high pain tolerance that I've only seen her cry from pain a couple of times in the nearly 14 years we've been living together, and she has had 21 herniated discs for the last few years at least, and in the past has walked blocks on a broken ankle and used to work as a professional wrestler getting hit and falling down hundreds of times a day (definitely a contribution to her current back's condition, though she also just has a congenital condition that causes stenosis in her whole spine). She couldn't do anything, couldn't concentrate, could barely hold still because it hurt so badly. the opiate painkillers the surgeon gave us barely made a dent - the only thing that really helped was her Lyrica that she had already been prescribed for the neuropathy in her feet that was a result of the stenosis. We had her take it at different times of day than usual to try to cope with the worse flare-ups, and it did okay, but she was still in such pain. I couldn't really do anything and it was a nightmare, just watching her struggle and hurt so much with no apparent solution. It kept getting worse for four or five days until I called her surgeon and our GP, and both of them seemed extremely alarmed and had us make appointments the next day.We figured that it was caused by the way she was resting during surgery causing her ulnar nerves to be compressed, and that this was just a result of them recovering. However, I did some reading of medical literature, and it turns out... this sort of effect is the result of malpractice, of the anesthesiologist failing to arrange, move, and provide proper amounts of padding for her arms during the procedure. I was angry, she was despairing. What I was reading said that it could be inflammation and would go away after a bit, or could be relieved by cubital tunnel releases, or might.. just be permanent nerve damage. We have no way of knowing at this point.When we saw her surgeon, he dismissed it as something that just happens during surgery, that 'while we're focusing on one thing, we miss other things', and merely prescribed her a very short run of steroid painkillers and had us make an appointment with his clinic's cubital tunnel specialist. When we saw our GP, she was outraged, told us that we needed to file a report with the hospital's patient advocate, informed us about the existence of bariatric beds and expressed anger that one had not been offered to Cassio, was also angry that they gave her such weak painkillers (a very short run of prescription-strength acetaminophen and a very, very low dose of opiates), and increased her Lyrica prescription as well as giving her more, better painkillers for the time being. She gave Cassio a hug while Cassio cried in her exam room in pain and frustration. It was very appreciated, and wildly different from the surgeon's response. It became clear to us that we have a potential malpractice suit on our hands if this isn't resolved quickly, and that the surgeon and hospital were trying to brush it off in hopes that we wouldn't realize how much they had failed and wouldn't make a fuss.Hale has been coming back to drive us to appointments, help us get groceries and medication, etc, because while Cassio's back is healing great and she should be able to drive by now, I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea of her driving when she's so restless and distracted, and her pain may jump to a completely unmanageable level at any time. The wolves are fantastic and we are both so grateful to them. I've spent a lot of time crying myself, not just because the situation is so stressful and upsetting, but also just out of sheer relief that Hale is there to support us. We couldn't be getting through this without her, and may need a lot more help in the future if things don't resolve in a reasonable time frame; the fact that she's so willing to step up is overwhelmingly relieving and I can't thank her enough.At this point, the steroids and increased Lyrics are managing Cassio's pain. We have an appointment with the cubital tunnel specialist on Wednesday, which I believe is when her steroid pack will run out. At that time we'll be finding out what the next steps are, and also figuring out how likely it is that we'll have to file a lawsuit. If this continues, Cassio will not be able to work, as she's in the IT sector and needs to type for work, which is extremely painful when her symptoms aren't being managed. The future is unknown, and pretty damn scary.On top of all this, I'm having my own health issues. I desperately need new glasses, as at this point I can read better without them than with them, the prescription is so out of date, and I need a sleep study because I probably have central sleep apnea, which is far more dangerous that than obstructive sleep apnea I'm diagnosed with. My schizoaffective symptoms have been increasing during all this stress, and I'm frequently having to juggle taking care of Cassio with my own mania and psychosis. I know I'm acting weird a lot of the time, and Hale and my other loved ones and friends have been so wonderful and supportive and nonjudgmental during this time, it's enough to break my heart. I'm looking at a potential new diagnosed of DDNOS as well, and need to undergo a test from my psychiatrist ASAP to figure out what's happening there, as I've been losing time and, after telling my psychiatrist about some of my childhood experiences, she's suspicious that I'm having dissociative episodes. I've been drawing stuff and even doing things like cutting my nails, being satisfied with it, and then hours later realizing that the anatomy on the art is completely skewed, or that I clipped my nails bloody or left big spikes of unclipped nail sticking out. And Pigeon, our kitten, has been constipated and we need to take her to the vet as well, on top of her and Socrates, our elderly cat, both needing their yearly exams and tests.We're doing okay financially - both Cassio and I have hit our out-of-pocket maximum with insurance, which means our covered medical care and prescriptions will be completely free for the rest of the year, and Cassio was able to secure a debt relief loan that has drastically helped our monthly budget as it slashed both our monthly debt payments and the interest on that debt in half. Cassio also got a raise last month which means we have a couple hundred extra dollars each month. Hale is helping us pay for vet care as well. However, because I'm so unstable and because Cassio frequently needs help or support without warning, I've been struggling to work consistently. My customers and friends have been absolutely wonderful and forgiving and patient with this, and I am incredibly grateful for the little community that has formed around my Discord server and my artwork in general. Yall are so amazing and I wouldn't be here without you. But because I never know when I'll be able to do a full stream or not, or a stream at all! That portion of our income is kind of up in the air. I can only ask that everyone continue to be patient with me, and apologize for the streams I disappear from or don't show up for. I don't always get a chance to even tell folks I'm stepping away or that I can't be there, if Cassio needs emergency and intense focus, or if I start having an acute psychotic episode. Anyone who is willing to work with me despite this is incredibly appreciated and is especially amazing to me.Things are really up in the air right now, and very unstable. We'll be finding out over the next few weeks what's going to happen from here, and I'll try to let folx know as soon as we find things out. Your ongoing patience is all I can ask for right now, as well as showing as much gratitude as I can for your support and kindness. If anyone wants to help out, please consider coming to my weekend streams to buy art, or contact me for a speedpaint or other one-on-one stream commission, with the understanding that it may take several weeks and possible missed 'appointments' before I can get things finished. If, for some reason, anyone wants to donate to help out with our food budget, which is higher as we're having to order a lot of delivery since we can't drive out to get food and I'm not always in a headspace to be able to cook or provide at home, or just to give us some padding if things go south, that would be hugely appreciated, and feel free to drop those at http://ko-fi.com/farorenightclaw - but it's not at all expected, and I'll do my best to show as much gratitude as I can for anything like that. A huge thank you to everyone who even enjoys my art, never mind actually buying anything, and for your moral support during this hugely stressful and difficult time. Much love.xoxoxo <3