What a year, eh? On my end of things we had some pretty dramatic unpleasantness with someone we thought was a friend, a move several states away, severe mental health issues, diabetes and hypothyroidism diagnoses, new health insurance and new doctors, a hospital visit for what turned out to be a skin infection, financial issues (on my end only; the wife is doing fine so therefore we're not in danger or anything, no worries), struggles with doing streams and completing commissions and doing any art at all (due to the aforementioned mental health issues).. however, we did move to a beautiful place we love that's near friends and my partner Hale and my parents, my health is being addressed and improving, my wife got a new (and very good) job and was able to come out as trans, and I am slowly but surely dragging myself out of this 'crazy pit' I've fallen into and learning how to take better care of myself and my needs, how to approach work in a healthier way, all that good stuff. So it's been a mixed bag. My therapist keeps telling me I need to just relax, give stuff time to improve, and try to ride it out, and take good care of myself in the meantime. It's tougher than it sounds!
Mostly I'm sorry for what's happened to my artwork and my work in general. My queues are severely backed up again and I'm way behind on commissions and Patreon rewards. I cannot say enough how much I appreciate you guys for sticking with me even when I'm struggling to complete the stuff you're paying to receive. I will catch up, I promise you, and hopefully soon. Taking an extended holiday break will, ideally, have been good for my ability to focus and even more ideally will have reduced my anxiety levels, which are really what's holding me back. I desperately need to figure out how to grab the reins and get back on the beast that is my job without anxiety constantly spooking it. I appreciate my therapist saying to just 'ride it out' but I don't think that's fair to my customers who paid for art or Patreon rewards with an expectation that it would be completed in a reasonable amount of time. So I'm just not sure what to do. I know putting more pressure on myself is only making it worse. Gotta find that sweet spot between 'too much pressure' and 'giving up entirely', heh. But yeah, I 100% intend to catch up and get things done. I need to be able to make a steady income again but more than that I need to satisfy my oh-so-patient customers, you guys (and others who aren't on here).
This seems like a lot of doom and gloom, but there's hope mixed in too, quite a bit of it in fact. And commitment to doing better. I so, so, so appreciate you guys sticking with me and continuing to support me as I try to get through this mess. Yall are the absolute best of the best. I dunno what I did to deserve such wonderful customers and friends but you have my heartfelt gratitude. Thank you for being awesome.
I hope you guys' years were better than mine! I wanna hear all about them, please tell me in the comments how your 2021 went!
♥
(art is a step in the redesign of Farore I've been working on!)