As the plane landed in Denver, he couldn’t help but feel glad for the first class. It was expensive, but it meant, instead of feeling like he went through a wrangler, he landed, fresh as a daisy.
Unfortunately, his nameless singer friend had been dragged away by her manager the moment she landed, and he didn’t intervene. Instead, he decided to take advantage of his money even more.
He rented a silver Mercedes Cabriolet, a nice convertible, instead of taking a bus to Greendale. Renting it cost quite a bit of a premium, with the bill at eight hundred dollars a day, but he waved it off. Disposable income was a beautiful convenience, especially since he was planning to drive from Denver to LA.
The only problem was that, the car, while being objectively superior to his second-hand Mustang, he found himself missing it.
As he drove, he couldn’t help but feel excited. He wanted to take a trip since he realized Greendale Community College was real; but what made him take an emergency flight there was the newsletter they had put on their website.
Last day of school picnic. A western-themed one, costumes highly encouraged.
And, apart from the city college people, only he knew that it was about to turn into a paintball war … possibly the most incredible paintball war in all fiction.
He had arrived at Greendale in a costume and online registration to a photography class, carrying a bulky wooden case that turned his digital camera into an ancient one, good enough to pass for a frontier photographer. Though he did add a few select pieces to his outfit, making sure that just by removing his jacket and adding a few strategic rips, he would look sexy.
After all, his plan was to meet with Annie. His stats had improved greatly, but during a battle between Jeff and Black Rider, there was no harm in adding some extra advantages. He wasn’t insecure enough to refuse that these two were handsome enough to be worthy competition.
Luckily, Jeff was more interested in his own reflection and would focus on the first rival, and Black Rider was the enemy of the group.
Ethan would have loved to mix with the infamous Greendale Seven, but he had watched the show too many times to miss the fact that the group had an almost pathological fear of strangers. His looks alone would trigger Jeff’s insecurities, which would make impossible for him to interact with them in a reasonable manner, and trying to guess how Pierce or Abed would react was simply impossible.
Luckily, the paintball gave him the perfect opportunity to engage with Annie away from the rest. Meanwhile, while waiting for the announcement that would declare everything, he took in the famous Greendale craziness.
He was not disappointed.
Nothing happened, but just walking around the Greendale Campus was an experience, every person radiating a very entertaining kind of weirdness. He was happy to see that, even in a world that was a combination of many shows, Greendale maintained its unique brand.
Then, Pistol Patty, the mascot of the fake icecream company that belonged to City College declared a paintball battle, with a special reward.
A hundred thousand dollars.
The campus had shifted. Well, not shifted in a real way, which, considering the way he had ended up in this world, was not exactly out of the question.
The crowd exploded into action, everyone rushing to the themed paintball guns that had been spread around. Ethan decided that it was too fun not to document, and once he picked a gun, he made sure to pick a nice angle and start taking photos.
He even managed to capture the scene of Annie ripping the bulky skirt of her costume, turning her saloon girl outfit into arguably the second sexiest outfit she had worn in the show … the first place, as always, going to that special santa helper outfit.
Though, while Annie looked amazing, she wasn’t the only entertaining person to watch. Once the war was declared, the students of Greendale split with a chaotic, shifting set of alliances that impressed him. Clubs split, cliques formed, grudges and betrayals blooming almost immediately.
He had to dodge several attacks, and even take down a few persistent attackers to make sure he could continue recording … and, the best part, he was able to snag several photos of Black Rider’s arrival, as well as him talking with the Pistol Patty.
Those would potentially be valuable once he made contact with Annie … and maybe Britta, depending on the situation.
For the first stage of the battle, he didn’t try to make contact with anyone; not after everything he had seen had confirmed what he expected of Greendale’s paintball culture. It had its own gravity, and trying to approach someone for an alliance was a good way to get shot.
No, for it to work, he needed to fit into whatever weird narrative the school was running on. And, the theme of the battle was western, defined by unexpected betrayals and alliances.
He just needed to find the correct time to interject to be counted in the category of unexpected alliances … which normally would be hard, but luckily, the existence of Black Rider solved most of his issues.
Until then, he watched cheerleaders seduce and then systematically eliminate a dozen football players.
He watched an older man dressed as a prospector hold a corner of the science building against six attackers for nearly twenty minutes with what appeared to be a sniper rifle and a personality disorder.
He watched the man dressed as a saloon musician fall after the betrayal of a barkeep friend.
He watched, and he recorded, which, to his surprise, proved to be a singularly unique experience. He felt like a war reporter, one that wasn’t protected by the law and hunted by everyone … only instead of death, he risked paint on his clothes.
He was starting to see why Greendale people got crazy about paintball.
It was fun.
&&&
The moment he had been waiting for happened almost five hours into the paintball battle. Any other time, he would have complained, but he was having too much fun. Not to mention, the paintball battle was proving to be an excellent way to stretch all the stats he had collected with no risk to himself.
Then, he found the opportunity he had been looking for. A confrontation where Black Rider ambushed Annie, Abed, and Jeff, forcing them to escape.
Jeff and Abed were running ahead, with Annie left somewhat behind. In the show, Jeff would have closed the door at the last second and saved Annie.
Ethan had other plans.
Just as Black Rider raised his gun, he swooped from an open window, used his camera flash to blind him, and at the same time, hooked his arm around Annie’s waist and pulled her up. She let out a shocked gasp when he lifted her off her feet, kicked open a locked door to another corridor, and disappeared.
Paintballs exploded at the doorway.
“Hey,” she gasped.
“Give me a moment, pretty eyes,” he teased her even as he opened another door, and closed behind them. They were in a storage room, just large enough not to feel claustrophobic, one that he had picked beforehand to make sure it was reasonably clean and comfortable.
He set Annie down. He held a finger to his lips. He listened.
To her credit, Annie actually followed his guidance.
Outside, footsteps rose, signaling that the Black Rider was searching for them. Annie stayed silent until they disappeared. He waited until the footsteps were entirely gone. Then he turned to Annie.
She was staring at him.
She was short, but the kind of short that danced right between cute and sexy, allowing her to move on the line depending on the circumstances. And, today, she embraced sexy, the fact that one of her buttons had popped while he ‘saved’ her helped.
Her chest was rising and falling rapidly from the run.
"Who are you?" she asked, her tone right between suspicious and intrigued. The perfect emotion he was hoping to create. “Are you even a student?”
He gave her his best, crooked smile. “Ethan. I’m the event photographer, and since I got paid in online class access, I technically qualify as one.”
Her blush was spectacular. For such a beautiful girl, Annie was too weak to flirting, which was partially about her obsessive and overprotective group of friends kicking everyone away, though the mutual unhealthy obsession with her and Jeff didn’t help her dating life.
Looking from that perspective, his presence was practically charity. Annie was too pretty to pine over a guy who preferred his own reflection in the mirror.
“Why did you just pull me through a door?"
"Because you’re too beautiful to be killed by a ringer,” he said as he caught her gaze, giving her his most intense gaze.
"Beautiful, me —“ she swooned, then her rationality asserted itself. He knew it would, which was why he wanted to give her the perfect distraction.
A clue about a conspiracy.
“Wait, a ringer?" she said, her swooning expression turning into a sharp suspicion. He wasn’t surprised by her attitude. She was capable enough to actually get an FBI internship despite graduating a community college with past addiction on her record.
"Look," he said as he opened the wooden case and showed her the pictures he took, where Black Rider was talking with Pistol Pete. “There’s he, talking with the sponsor. I heard them mentioning that Black Rider was a ringer, apparently there to take the reward.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” she said.
“Well, it does. If the ringer wins, the ice cream company gets its marketing effect without giving up the money.”
Annie looked at the screen. Her expression performed a brief journey, starting from confusion, staying in recognition for a moment, then settling into a focused intensity that made her even sexier.
Annie leaned against the wall. “I knew something was wrong when Dean was surprised by the reward.”
“It’s quite a mess for a simple game of paintball,” he said.
“In Greendale, paintball is not just a game,” she delivered seriously.
He smirked. “I see that.”
She paused, then looked at him suspiciously. “And, what’s your deal? Why save me instead of hunting for the reward?”
He smiled. “I’m good, but it’s clear that this school has its own … quirks. I can never succeed without an alliance.”
“And, what? Shoot me in the back.”
“How about we make a deal to trust each other until only two of us, then we can have a duel… We can even have a pact.”
“What pact?”
“If you betray me earlier than we discussed, you owe me a date.”
That made her eyes widen. “I … there’s a hundred thousand dollar reward, and your punishment is a date,” she said.
He gave her another perfect smile. “I know. It’s greedy of me, but life is about taking risks, isn’t it?” he whispered. The way she started playing with her hair while her bosom, which was still on display, blushed attractively.
“W-well, it doesn’t matter because I don’t betray people,” she whispered. “Deal, we don’t shoot each other until only two of us remain. But I can’t vouch for my friends. They can be … impulsive.”
“Deal, pretty eyes. I only hold you responsible for yourself.” With that, he reached to his side, and passed her the spare gun.
Annie blushed again, but the moment she took the gun, her attitude shifted, a seriousness settling on her.
She was determined to win her confrontation. Annie was surprisingly good with the paintball gun. The show didn’t explicitly mention it, but he suspected she had put in some practice after her defeat the year before.
With her obsessive personality, it was very likely.
However, while she was good, he was better. Much better. With his current skills, he was good enough to thrive on a real battlefield against real enemies, let alone in a paintball battle.
He didn’t plan on revealing his full skills. If he did, he could have hunted everyone and earned a hundred thousand dollars, and destroyed Greendale in the process.
A hundred thousand dollars would have been important at one point, but not now. Not when he had three businesses, two of them already profitable, and the last one with a promising start.
His real focus was Annie. Flirting with her while they roamed together, hunting people was fun. With his skills, it was easy to engineer a lot of close calls, some with him saving her, the others her saving him.
Especially since he made sure to get some strategic damage to his outfit, slowly turning from cute and nerdy to sexy heartthrob.
The way Annie ogled him whenever she thought he wasn’t looking his way was cute … and promising.
The only challenge was to keep her away from the rest of the group, but luckily, he knew that they were at the cafeteria for their standoff, and everything was gravy.
“That has to be a lie,” he gasped, giggling as he made her a sandwich out of the stuff they found after raiding the lockers, listening to Annie’s story. “You couldn’t have given your dean a mental breakdown after faking a confrontation for a fake conspiracy class.”
“True,” she said with a giggle. “Dean is … well, dean.” She gestured around. “Why do you think we’re having a paintball fight, that’s apparently been plotted by an ice cream company even though it’s already night? Does it look like a story that belongs to a school with a competent dean?”
He chucked. “When you say it like that, it makes more sense. By the way, what’s the deal with the school flag, because I can’t be the only one seeing it.”
That made Annie blush. “I think some students submitted that as a joke, and it won,” she said, doing her best to look like it wasn’t her group’s fault. He chuckled at her reaction. “So, the sandwiches are ready?”
“Yes,” he said, and he passed her one.
She took a bite, only for her eyes to widen. “How can it taste that good?” she said. “I mean, I have seen all the ingredients you put there. Calling them bottom of the barrel is a compliment.”
He chuckled. “That’s what separates a good cook from a great one. Improvising,” he teased, but he slid closer, allowing her to lean against his chest. “So, any stories about the previous paintball war? Several people we got were cursing your study group.”
“Not as much as I would like,” she said. “I got taken up really early.”
“Really? Was that an ambush, because you are really handy with a gun?”
She blushed. “Not really. I wasn’t as good. But, after losing, I decided that I’ll be ready for the next battle. I … I can be a bit obsessive with winning.”
He chuckled. “Really. I haven’t noticed it,” he teased. “The way you took down the cheerleaders definitely shouted calm and laid-back.”
That made her pull back a little. “I know it’s not really an attractive quality. They call me crazy Annie—“ she started.
He silenced her by touching her chin. “I didn’t say that, pretty eyes,” he whispered, enjoying the way her eyes widened. “I don’t see a crazy girl being crazy, but a strong woman that’s determined to draw her own path. Well, maybe a dash of crazy as well, but you’re beautiful enough to pull it perfectly.”
“I…” she whispered, leaning forward slightly, but she was hesitant, not knowing how to react.
He completed the distance, and kissed her gently. He could have probably pushed her down and taught her all about the pleasure, and she would have been very happy, but he didn’t.
In some ways, she was similar to Alex.
In others, she was entirely different.
The biggest difference was their families. The Dunphy Bunch might have dropped the ball occasionally when it came to Alex, it almost always came from their trust in Alex’s capabilities. Most of the time, they were right to trust her. Even occasionally when they failed, particularly like her famous breakdown episode, instead of trying to shame her, they did their best to help.
Annie’s family was the opposite, trying to cover up a real-life drug overdose by sweeping under the rug, so much so that when she decided to check herself into rehab, her family cut all support.
It was why; he didn’t push like the others, instead letting her take the pace. She needed to feel in control.
[Achievement complete. Seduce Annie
Challenge: Hard]
[+10 Endurance
1 Random Gold Skill
1 Random Gold Reward]
He wasn’t surprised to see her main stat to be Endurance. Not because she wasn’t intelligent or attractive, but her relentless resilience and optimism defined her far more than anything else.
When she finally pulled back, she was hesitant. She expected him to pull back, declare that everything was a mistake. He couldn’t blame her. Up until now, her relationships included a gay boyfriend who realized his true self in the worst possible time, a weird hippie that no one could take seriously, a kiss from Jeff that left her mentally messed up because she never knew what it truly meant and wrote a story in her mind…
Without his intervention, a fake movie kiss from Abed would have been added to the mix, which, in context, wouldn’t have made her feel any better about her attractiveness.
No wonder she got even more obsessed with Jeff in the show.
“I … I don’t know what came over me,” she whispered.
“I do,” he said as he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. “We don’t know for how long we will survive, and you don’t want to go with regrets.”
That made Annie giggle. “Oh my god. Greendale is getting to you,” she whispered.
He grabbed her hips, and pulled her to his lap. This time, he kissed her. “I have to admit, it has its charms. A future detective is one of them.”
It was deliberate. He knew that studying hospital administration was the biggest mistake of hers, which almost caused her to relapse. And, even without the risk of a relapse, he knew she would hate it.
That made her pause. “Actually, no,” she said.
He smirked. “My mistake, Miss Federal Agent,” he whispered.
That made her pause. “Actually, I study hospital administration,” she said.
“Really?” he said.
“Why? Is it because I’m a former addict that can’t handle being in a hospital?” she said, her tone suddenly sharp.
“Not what I mean. First of all, because I didn’t know that fact,” he said. That made her freeze. She tried to pull back, but he grabbed her waist gently. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. If you want to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
“I …” she whispered. “Actually, not that interesting. I had always been overachieving, and my obsessive mother didn’t help. When I started struggling, she arranged for me to take Adderall. Looking back, I think it was a fake diagnostic.”
“I know it’s family, and I shouldn’t insult her, but it’s a bitch move.”
That made her giggle. “I don’t think I can argue against it,” she said. “The rest is a boring story. I was already struggling due to standard high school stuff, and the added stress didn’t help. One day, I ran through a glass door. I wanted to go to rehab. My mother disagreed. I went anyway. She cut me off.”
“And then…”
“Then, a mess. A month in rehab, scholarship to Stanford and Yale gone, and I ended up in a community college that’s not even the best one in a twenty-mile radius, struggling to make do by recycling cans,” she said, then giggled.
This time, he didn’t like her giggle. It wasn’t the fun, confident Annie.
It had a dark tone, one that carried the hint of a breakdown. She was strong. She would have survived even as he jolted away in disgust, but it would be just another wound to her already scarred heart.
Objectively, the study group helped her, but also hurt her again and again. It was always the challenge of damaged people trying to help each other; that help could easily transform into fueling each other’s worst impulses.
There was a reason most psychologists would have called them codependent. They were not, but the distance wasn’t that far.
She stopped, and looked at her own trembling hands. "This is the part where you get uncomfortable and run away,” she whispered. “I … I understand.”
“How about I take a different path?” he whispered and kissed her instead.
It was a beautiful kiss despite its simplicity, because he could feel Annie melting bit by bit. The kiss lasted several minutes before Annie finally pulled back. The temptation to tease her body until she lost her mind with pleasure was there, but once again, it wasn’t the best for her.
So, he limited his enjoyment to her cute blush as she finally slid away from his lap.
He waited, curious what she would say…