The walk back to the cafeteria was quiet. Annie led. He followed, his camera, complete with his old-timey case in one hand, and a gun in the other.
He let her lead because the next hour was, by his reckoning, going to belong to her. He liked Greendale Seven from a distance, but he knew that the group was like a pack of wild dogs against strangers. He just needed to stay in a safe place and avoid provoking them.
Luckily, his safe place was behind Annie, who could exert herself perfectly if she wished.
The excellent view was a bonus.
Annie hadn't asked him to be quiet, but Annie also carried some weird optimistic understanding of the group, even thinking that trying to bring Rich into the group might work.
“Stay behind me. We don’t want paint on your pretty face,” she whispered.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied playfully, letting her take the lead. It was fun to see Annie shy and submissive, but she was even sexier when she was in charge.
She paused. “Just … don’t take anything personally. They can be cranky, especially Pierce."
"Pretty eyes."
"Yeah."
"You have the command. I’ll follow your lead. If I get painted, at least I’ll lose looking at your beautiful hips. There are worse ways to go.”
“Shut up,” she said, her blush making the insult far sweeter. Then they walked in.
The cafeteria had the quality of a room that had been lived in for several hours by people who were committed to a western theme, followed by a battle that left a lot of marks.
At the center of the room, there was a strange situation. Black Rider was walking away with paint on his coat, and Pierce was just disappearing at the edge of the room, while the rest of the group watched him disappear with complicated expressions, mostly a combination of sadness and relief.
“So, what did I miss?” Annie asked, and everyone turned toward her.
“Annie, you’re alive,” Shirley clapped.
“And, she brought a date,” Jeff added, immediately zeroing in on the situation.
"He's not a date," Annie said, but everyone looked at her in disbelief. He didn’t blame them. While a visit to the bathroom and some strategic application of makeup removed most of the evidence, nothing could remove the glow of chain orgasms.
Though, knowing the group, they probably assumed she just kissed him and overreacting. Or, she was merely crushing hard on him.
“Fine, he might be a date as well, but his name is Ethan, and he saved my life when Black Rider ambushed us, and Jeff and Abed decided that running was the better choice.”
“Jeff, shame on you,” Shirley declared, always ready to lay guilt.
“Hey, back then, we were still thinking that it was just an ordinary game. We didn’t know he was working for the ice cream company,” Jeff said.
“Fine,” Annie said. “I don’t want to rehash what happened. He’s under my protection,” she said, her paint gun raised threateningly.
She was extremely attractive.
“How do we know that he’s not working for the ice cream company as well? He’s not a student. I would have remembered him,” Jeff said, immediately territorial.
“Because not only did he save me from Black Rider, but he was the one who warned me about his betrayal. He even as evidence. And, he saved my life many times over.”
“Not as much as you saved mine,” he added, never one to miss an opportunity, which melted most of the audience, and made Jeff frown more.
“Still—“ Jeff said, but Annie raised her hand, interrupting her.
“There are more important things. After seeing the state of the school, Ethan guessed that maybe the ice cream company was a front, and the real aim was to make students destroy the school.”
“Who would do such a thing—“ Britta started.
“City College,” Abed jumped in, his eyes widened. “This is no longer a Western. We’re now defending our school against an unknown enemy, united in a desperate battle.”
“Does it help that I saw several people carrying paintball guns and dressed in white hard suits?” Ethan added.
“Stormtroopers,” Troy gasped. “We’re doing Star Wars!”
While that declaration distracted the most, Jeff kept his gaze on him. He would have assumed that it was about his jealously about Annie, but he suspected that having another competition in the looks department hadn’t gone well for him.
Jeff might be a good man deep down, but the surface was covered with layers of narcissistic insecurity.
Ethan just smirked, and stuck around Annie, not really in a mood to play to Jeff’s insecurities. The last thing he wanted was to end up in a weird competition with him while Abed swept in with his Han Solo shtick.
Luckily, it didn’t take long for Jeff to get threatened by Troy trying to take a leadership role, and started bickering with him instead, allowing him to return to the background.
Ethan might have been more tempted to seduce Britta and see if he could turn that into a threesome, but he had a feeling that Annie wouldn’t take that in good humor.
At least, not yet.
The night went by in pieces while the group moved around and organized the ‘Alliance’ to fight against Evil City College. He had to admit, sleep deprivation was worth watching the chaos of Greendale.
They were like a pack of vicious cats; disobedient, annoying, yet uniting reflexively against an outside enemy.
He didn’t do much. He stuck around Annie, stole occasional kisses and otherwise photographed everything. Greendale madness was certainly unique … though he wasn’t tempted to stay for long.
It was a brand of crazy that was better in small doses.
The next time came during the morning meeting where they tried to decide on a battle plan, with Jeff arguing for a frontal assault, and Troy wanting to rig the sprinklers with paint.
He didn’t say anything until Abed tried to angle himself as Han Solo. When Abed tried to declare himself after taking Starburns’ vest, Ethan coughed, interrupting him.
“I think you’re late taking the Han Solo role, Abed. I already called dibs.”
"You?" Abed said, his tone the usual calm.
Annie gestured for him to let it go. He acted as if he didn’t notice it. He had no intention of letting that particular storyline progress. “Yes, me,” he said.
"On what basis?"
Ethan stretched in just the perfect way to radiate Han Solo energy. "Let's go through the criteria. Han Solo is a mercenary outsider who showed up on the planet for the money. Check. He has no inherent allegiance to the rebellion. Check. He decides to stay and fight because he is captivated by a pretty yet bossy princess who would look extremely well wearing a gold bikini—"
“Ethan,” Annie gasped, but her blush was spectacular. “No check for that one!”
“Let’s say it’s in progress,” Ethan smirked, enjoying her growing blush. At the side, he noted Jeff throwing him some very ugly looks, realizing that the situation might be worse than he had realized.
Unfortunately, something very big got in the way. His own ego. Troy made a comment about the plan, and the idea of losing his default relationship role overtook the risk of Annie giving a private cosplay show.
Or maybe he underestimated the risk of where it would lead because it was a nerdy concept, and Jeff automatically reduced the risk he represented.
Abed paused for a while, then shrugged. “You have a point. I’ll be Chewbacca, then,” he said, then gave a surprisingly accurate roar.
He slid closer to Annie, who was still blushing. She slapped his shoulder; he chuckled, watching Jeff and Troy’s battle for leadership while doing his best to ignore Shirley’s judgmental glare.
He did made sure to stand threateningly behind Annie when she finally decided to intervene and create a combined plan out of Troy and Jeff’s idea, so when Garrett tried to argue against it, he swallowed his words halfway.
He did feel bad. Garrett was … Garrett.
What followed was another burst of fun. He didn’t try to change anything in the storyline, only rather than leaving Annie to be subjected to Abed’s shockingly effective flirting that left her confused, he encouraged and supported her while also teasing her and stealing kisses.
Abed had a point. Playing Han Solo was amazing.
It helped that his efforts were properly appreciated. Annie always smiled him whenever he supported her without taking over or diminishing her contributions. Even in combat, he let her be the star. She needed it.
She moved with perfect confidence, shooting the discount stormtroopers with incredible effectiveness, and having him cover her back made it even better.
He could have changed the situation and ended up as the hero of the day, but he let Pierce have his day. Instead, he continued to fight together with Annie, holding the path for Abed and Troy to go for the sprinklers to trigger a rain of paint, only for them to get taken out, and Shirley to pull them.
Annie and he ended up in the sprinkler’s radius.
Letting the others finish while he was locked in with Annie, paint covering their bodies while they enjoyed a spectacular kiss. One would think that a rain of orange paint would have made the situation worse, but somehow, it didn’t.
It was good.
Then, he received two notifications, making it far, far better.
[Achievement complete. Slide into the role of Han Solo perfectly and making Annie happy without ruining Abed’s day in the process.
Challenge: Daring]
[+25 Endurance
1 Random Platinum Skill
1 Random Platinum Reward]
[Bonus achievement complete. Netori effect in play]
[+25 Perception
1 Random Platinum Skill
1 Random Platinum Reward]
The reward surprised him somewhat. Both the scale of it, but also the fact that it counted as Netori. Especially since it was Perception, which was clearly not Jeff’s deal.
But then, technically, he had just stolen one of the most iconic scenes of Abed, which, considering his love for TV, probably counted as stealing his lover.
He picked rewards. Expert skills were valuable from anyone, but Annie and Abed were particularly interesting.
[Expert Research]
[Elite Skill: You’re an exceptional researcher, with a strong capability to learn, acquire information, and analyze the findings.]
[Expert Cinematography]
[Elite Skill: You are an exceptional cinematographer, with a special eye for framing and movement, good enough to work with even the greatest directors, capable both for art movies and commercial blockbusters.]
He chuckled, his mood even better after two spectacular rewards. Cinematography and Research skills were high-value ones.
He didn’t do anything. He didn’t need to, not when Annie pushed him toward the wall and dominated the kiss. Authoritative Annie was fun in a different way. She climbed him like a tree, her kisses desperate.
“Did we win?” Annie asked after five minutes, pulling back from the kiss, interrupted only after the celebration sounds reached them.
“Let’s go and see,” he said … but it took about ten minutes until they could stumble, giving Annie her proper celebration that brought her kiss of victory to completion rather than ending her year with another kill that would mess with her head.
Only then, they stumble to the celebration and hear how Pierce had saved the day. “I guess we misjudged him,” Annie said. “Maybe we should invite back. Do you want to come with me and meet them?”
“Tempting, but I think I’ll wait for you outside. It’s the end of semester meeting with your friends. If I go, the meeting will be about me. It’s unfair for the rest.”
She sighed. “You have a point. They can be intense…”
“Yeah, and you guys have Pierce’s decision. It’ll be a rollercoaster.”
She scoffed. “It won’t. Pierce will be excited to be invited back.”
“I disagree,” he said with a chuckle. “Want me to make a bet on how it’ll go?” he said.
Annie looked at him, surprised. “What do you mean?”
“The group will warm up and invite Pierce after he gives a heartfelt speech, only for him to refuse and leave like a winner,” he said.
Annie gasped. “He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t abandon the group. We’re his friends!”
He chuckled. “Who said anything about abandoning? He’ll probably just return at the start of the next semester and act like nothing happened, and you’ll accept him. Abed will probably call it a weekly sitcom reset or something.”
“Abed wouldn’t … Pierce wouldn’t …” Annie muttered, but her lack of conviction was fun.
“Well, it does sound like you’re willing to make a bet?” he teased.
“What’s on the line?” she asked, excited.
“If the first half happens during your group meeting, you follow what I have in mind while we drive to your place for a shower.”
“A shower … in my place …” she whispered. “J-just a shower…”
“You’re the princess, Annie. You make the rules … especially if we can get our hands on a gold bikini in the process.”
“Ethan,” she gasped, blushing.
“What. You don’t want to leave poor Han hanging, right, princess?” he whispered throatily, and Annie melted with desire.
&&&
While waiting for Annie, Jeff found him first, looking somewhere between confused and territorial. “Ethan, how are you?” he asked, trying to look intimidating.
“Feeling tired. I can’t believe I still need to drive to Los Angeles today,” he said, lying shamelessly.
“You’re leaving?” Jeff asked, clearly happy that he would be gone. Now that his leadership battle with Troy had ended, he probably remembered to be jealous of Annie.
He cared, but … the term toxic didn’t begin to cover his attitude toward her, or any other romantic relationship in his life.
“Yeah.”
“Why are you still here, then?” he asked.
“Well, Annie might have extracted a promise from me to drive her home,” he said with a sigh.
“Actually, I can give that ride. Go ahead,” he said.
Ethan faked a happy smile. “Oh, man, really? You would do that for me, and ruin the interior of your Lexus with all that paint. Because I don’t think detailing will be able to get all of it.”
That made Jeff’s eyes widen. He did whenever he faced something hard without someone else to push him. He escaped. “On second thought, it’s rude for me to make you break a promise,” he said, then retreated hurriedly, no doubt afraid of him pushing his luck.
After all, nothing was scarier for Jeff than actual work.
[Achievement complete. Play Jeff’s vanity against his jealousy and ensure he doesn’t try to sabotage Annie’s date.
Challenge: Daring]
[+25 Appearance
1 Random Platinum Skill
1 Random Platinum Reward]
He hummed at the size of the reward, another thing that made him realize that the challenge scale was even more flexible than he had realized. Playing Jeff’s insecurities and vanity was easy, yet the System rewarded him generously for it.
Clearly, the impact on the general narrative was even more important than he realized.
No wonder the Dunphy household dinner had given him an Overwhelming reward. It probably changed everything about the future for the family.
Interesting.
But first, he took the skill reward.
[Expert Fitness]
[Elite Skill: You’re an exceptional gym rat, with a perfect understanding of how to combine diet and exercising to achieve perfect results that even delays the impact of aging, both for yourself and for others.]
Unsurprisingly, Shirley was the next one to see him, but he did his best to radiate an innocent demeanor at the corner, whispering a small prayer.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Shirley whispered to herself and disappeared. She might have acted more intensely under other circumstances, but she still had a baby waiting for her attention back home, and the idea of matching Annie with a cute, handsome boy with the ‘correct’ religious mindset was enough to keep her away.
Just like that, Shirley departed. It was not a surprise.
Too bad her departure didn’t give another reward.
Then, Abed arrived. “Do you mind I interview you about your experience as Han Solo?” he said, his camera already raised. Ethan was glad that he was familiar with him, so instead of getting unsettled by his intensity, he gave him the interview he wanted.
After all, he did owe the guy one for stealing his scene. And, it wasn’t like talking with Abed was a chore.
Troy arrived next, trying to look intimidating and failing ridiculously. He was even easier to mollify. Even Pierce swung by after the others left, giving what he thought to be an intimidating speech.
The group was truly codependent to a toxic degree. No wonder no one but Abed was able to maintain a healthy dating life, and for Abed, it worked only because he never mixed his romantic life with his relationships.
Luckily, knowing what to expect, they were also very entertaining, especially in small doses, and he had absolutely no intention of moving there to be exposed.
Being a guest star was more than enough.
Only after everyone had had their little confrontation, Annie arrived, looking harried. She had cleaned her skin somewhat, but her clothes were still caked with paint. She let out a relaxed sigh only after she saw him. “Sorry about it,” she said. “I wanted to return immediately, but Britta lost her bag and I needed to help. Then, Shirley—“
He interrupted her with a kiss. She seemed shocked by it, but she was quick to respond. Her earlier hesitation was already gone. He couldn’t wait to see just how enthusiastic and skilled Annie would be once she brought her usual crazy obsession with what was going on with them.
“What was that for?” she muttered.
“That was celebrating my survival. While they were giving you the runaround, they visited me one by one, trying to read me the riot act.”
Her eyes widened. “I can’t believe them. It’s an invasion of my private life—“
He kissed her again. “Calm down, Annie. I’m not offended. It was fun. Pierce somehow managed to mention having sex with Eartha Kitt in a plane bathroom while bragging about having enough money to hire assassins if I ever hurt you. Shirley was easily deflected once she realized I actually liked you, and Abed was more interested in interviewing Han Solo than actually threatening me.”
“What about Jeff and Troy?” she asked.
“Troy is too nice to actually look intimidating,” he said, then paused. “Well, let me correct it. It was weird. If I actually had any intention of hurting you, I might have been worried. He’s very emphatic. But, since I’m not, he’s an optimistic golden retriever.”
“And, Jeff?” she asked, her tone carrying a soft hitch.
“Jeff was the easiest to handle. The idea that he might actually get paint on his car had been enough to send him running,” he said, doing his best to look casual while strategically reminding her how little it took to send Jeff running away.
It was not a fair representation of Jeff’s true personality, but all was fair in love and war.
“I see,” Annie said, doing her best to hide her disappointment. It was hard to dismiss two years of emotional investment. He acted as if he hadn’t caught it. “Maybe it’s time to grow up and leave childish fantasies behind,” she whispered, soft enough that he only caught thanks to his Perception.
Then, she kissed him again. It was different.
It tasted like paint and determination…