The room was rather quiet; you weren’t sure if that was because you zoned out so hard or because your pack was just as unsure of this information as you.
Brushing your hand upon your lap, you let out a deep breath, “Well here it is… I’m…Raven…and she’s me…”
“So…Kegame becomes Keiko huh…” Gojo spoke softly. His mix-up of the names made you release a tiny snort while Toji corrected him.
"Kagome becomes Kikyo."
“Does it even matter?” Sukuna questioned with annoyance.
“Yes. Yes, it does.” Nanami answered as if he couldn’t believe Sukuna would question the importance of the situation.
Nanami was right. It did matter. It mattered because this wasn’t just a coincidence. Raven didn’t happen to look like you; she was you in some sense. The two of you were connected, and you needed to know how. It could be the reason why you are here.
Toji rubbed your back as he spoke, “It could be fake. If you use your blood, you can see if it is truly Ravens…or yours…both of yours? Tengen, this is a weird situation…”
“Check it.” Sukuna took out his knife and gestured toward you. Giving him your hand, he gently pricked your finger with the sharp edge.
“Ai…” You let out a little hiss and then moved your blood to the paper. Right over the seal, you let it drip. The seal lit up before dimming again.
“What does that mean?” You ask, looking at everyone.
They looked like they had seen a ghost.
“It’s yours…” Nanami commented.
"Or Raven's...” Gojo added. “…which might also be you...perhaps your great great great great greeeatgrandma...or maybe we are in the future and you are Raven's great great great great greaaat grandma."
"Shut up Gojo."
"Just throwing out ideas."
“Huh…” Your eyes moved to the place she was born… “Kushoto…” The same place the villains are from…and then you looked at her birthday, “And…same birthday too- wow… She's the same age as me too...That’s… that’s…crazy…”
Getou moved toward you, his movement purposeful. He took the paper, holding it with two fingers, “The craziness doesn’t end there. The date of when this form was created and the date of birth do not match.”
Toji looked confused, “How? You cannot forge a certificate. When Megumi was born, we used his blood to create it. The date, name, and place are recorded right there and then.”
Nanami walked over, “We had suspicions of the authenticity… we thought her blood would reject the certificate...but seeing as it didn't, that just proved to us that it is real. Whoever made the original used your blood and the age and place of the paper do not lie. Same with the copy." Your blonde waved his hand over the document, and a ring appeared behind the words. "This shows how old the certificate is."
"Okay, what does that ring mean?"
"Just like trees, it counts how many years have gone by. According to this one, only about a year has passed since the original was created.”
"You should see how many rings are on Sukuna's." Gojo added.
"You aren't even that much younger than me." The alpha growled.
You didn't let the little banter get into your head because you were hyper-focused on figuring this shit out. "If the original was created about a year ago, Raven would technically only be a year old, but that cannot be..."
Nanami nodded, "Yes. Sometimes a pup's birth is not recorded right away, and that's why the blood is important. It will put the correct date here..." Nanami pointed at the date, "Though the paper is only about a year old, your blood still reveals your true birthday."
"This shit just keeps getting more confusing and confusing." Toji rubbed at his temples.
"I’ve already done all the mental heavy lifting for you. If you think about it this way..." Getou shifted, "Mei Mei needed a birth certificate to take Raven into the home. This very form was probably created before Raven got to the Omega House. Those people wanted her there for a reason."
Your brows furrowed, "Maybe they did that so…Raven…could infiltrate your pack...that's probably why Mahito gave me that mark...and why Choso knows of me...why Raven tried so hard to be chosen…Maybe Raven was a spy they planted."
"..."
You noticed an awkwardness fill the room. It made you uncomfortable now that you spoke those words out loud. “That sounds terrible…”
"Are you a spy?" Sukuna questioned.
You scoffed, "No! Why would you say that?"
"It would make sense." Sukuna continued. "It was difficult for us to choose an omega, and you just so happen to fit us perfectly. You're almost too perfect. Words that even Nanami himself had pointed out."
You gaped in shock. The way Sukuna was talking was almost too simple for the occurrence. Almost, like he himself was unsure of the words coming out of his mouth.
Your other alphas released growls of irritation.
"Don't even suggest that."
"What the fuck dude?"
Sukuna threw up his hand, "I'm just pointing out all our options. Even the ones you all may be too scared to voice.” He then looked toward you, with not a hint of fear or aggression. “You very much could be a witch destined to destroy us, and to be honest, we are in just too deep to even care. I'd just like to be realistic about my demise, unlike the rest of you."
His words hurt, far more than any blade. The very idea of you hurting your alphas was unfathomable. You stood while hissing, "Is- that what you think of me? After I ran away! I was trying to go home!"
Sukuna didn't look the bit deterred by the anger in your tone, but your other alphas were trying to calm you down- Toji attempted to pull you back in your seat while the others stepped in front of you to block your view of Sukuna.
“Let’s just chill the fuck out guys-“
“There’s no need for all of this right now!”
“On what evidence do you state such debauchery?”
"I have no evidence. But if you think about it, it could have been a planned scheme, who am I or any of you to know?"
You scooted Gojo aside so your glare could pierce its target. "You do know! You know when I'm lying I can't lie worth shit!"
Sukuna grew angry now, “Yes I know, but that is exactly why their plan could work. Did you not just tell us the story of the killer who erased his memory to complete his mission?”
You grit your teeth, you hated what he was saying but you also understood that he looked at all sides of the situation, even the shitty side. You could even feel the uncertainty from your alphas, though they tried to disrupt the argument; you knew this idea was sprouting within their minds.
Nanami sighed as he dropped his head, “I would be lying if I said that idea didn’t cross my mind. The chance may be slim… but there’s still a chance…”
Now that your blonde had spoken everyone seemed to truly go still.
Was that why you were here? To trick the alphas into loving you for some elaborate scheme? Were you just a pawn for the villains?
You push from your alphas and look at them all, "Do you wish for me to leave then? Say it right now and I'm fucking out of here!"
"No!"
"We don't want you to leave baby, you belong here with us-"
"Stop Y/n, Sukuna's just being dick!"
“Nanami just agreed you dokko ass!”
"Fuck it if I die I die!"
Sukuna let out a little snort at Gojo's words, "See? We can't let you go even if we wanted to. I'm not saying this to say it! I only speak the truth. No matter the situation, I know I will still stand my ground. It's just a matter of whether the ground I'm on is quicksand or solid."
You breathed heavily, your intake of breath shakes as tears cloud your vision.
Getou pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back gently, “No matter what it is… we will figure it out…do not worry about it…”
You allowed him to hug you for a while but then you pushed him gently. With a firm tone you say, “I’m calling Choso.”
“…”
“Uh…mmm…” Gojo was about to say something but then settled for nothing.
There was nothing to be said.
“Do it in here… at least.” Nanami adjusted his bed, setting up a comfortable spot for you.
Getou helped you to the bed, lying you down gently. “…Cut off the call quickly if anything seems weird…”
“Be careful…” Toji warned. “…I know you say he seems friendly but he could be playing you for a fool…”
Getou caressed your forehead, “He is working with them… he may know more than he lets on...”
You nodded, “Okay…here goes..." You raised your hand just as Gojo shouted-
"Wait!"
You jolt at the sudden impact of your alpha jumping on you and peppering your face with kisses. "Ok ok, just needed to give you a few good luck kisses!"
A laugh tickled your throat; you patted the alpha appreciatively. "Thank you, Gojo."
Once your alpha pulled away you pulled your hand to your forehead and activated the spell. You did it so swiftly because you didn't want to second-guess it. It was like throwing yourself into the cold water. You were just ready to get it over with.
~
The same thing happened before.
You were met with darkness and then woke up in this astral projecting looking world. The ring appeared, and you waited for it to connect.
However, you didn't get a connection.
You were left in the darkness awaiting Choso to answer but he never did.
Time felt like it was dragging.
Fear began to settle within your stomach.
What if it was too late?
What if he was already…dead?
No-
You couldn't think like that.
You will just have to retry later, with the help of the pups.
After a good while of waiting you finally decided to leave. Too long and your alphas will probably get anxious.
Raising your hand to your forehead you began to say, "Disp-"
DING!
You gasped once the call connected, and right before you Choso appeared.
"Choso!" You were so shocked, his name just flew from your lips. "You-You're okay!"
"Raven?" Choso looked confused, "Were you worried about...me?"
"Yes! Absolutely! You scared me!" You pushed against his arm in annoyance, "You left!"
"You had me captive..."
"Ah...fuck touche..." You shook your head, "...Sorry about that...are you somewhere safe?"
Choso nodded, "Safe enough...you?"
"I am..."
"...Good…so why do you call…?”
You looked upon Choso, eyes peeled for any sign or recognition in your next question. "Choso...what's my name?"
"...Your name? Have you forgotten that as well?"
"No...I know my name is Raven...but do you know my real name? My birth name?"
The beta clicked his tongue, looking away from you, "...I know it..."
"If that's true...then tell me please..."
He shook his head, "No... I swore I would never speak that name again. The last time I did you nearly dropped."
Funny. That sounded similar to what your alphas had said happened to you when they had called you Raven. "I won't drop Choso. I promise...just... say my name. Not the one Mei Mei gave me."
"Well...Mei Mei didn't give you the name. You had named yourself..."
"I named myself? Why did I not like my true name?"
Choso looked at you cautiously, his expression becoming more guarded, "You speak as if you are Raven and not Raven at the same time. Who are you really?"
"Alright, I know what I said before you left could be a little confusing, but that's because my memory is all out of whack!”
"What's the hold up? Why are your alphas dragging their feet? You should have been to Shapuro? Why are you in Kyotoma?"
"It's harder to travel with pups- wait..." You point toward him with your eyes lowered, "How do you know I'm in Kyotoma?"
"...I just do..."
"Choso? Are you following us?"
"Not exactly...I was waiting for you...waiting for you to get your memories back before I returned home..."
"Don't...don't go home Choso. I need to figure out why my mind is so fucked, and I can bet that Mahito... and unfortunately, your father had something to do with it...and if you care for me...like you say you do, then help me."
"..." Choso was quiet for way too long, so you said-
"Unless...you are in on this."
"No." This time, he was much quicker to answer, "I'm not...I was just considering what if it were your alphas that were the ones to erase your memories?"
No. Not a chance.
Is what you wanted to say but you stopped yourself from doing so. You let their actions speak louder than your words, "I don't know Choso, but they have been trying to help me. They searched for a doctor, saved the witches so they could help me, ventured to the bad lands, and now are watching pups that I decided to take with us...I cannot say anything positive about Mahito who had given me a call and then my mind went blank afterward. Other than that, you are the only other person who can help me fill in the blanks. I need your help. And most importantly I don't want to remember how much you mean to me when it's too late and something happens to you."
"And...how would I know this isn't another trap?"
You began to list things upon your fingers as you spoke-
"My favorite color is-
"I like-"
"I also enjoy the smell of-"
"And my other favorite anime is-"
"And I have a huge issue with Vampire Knight- why the fuck did they make it incest and weird?-"
"Does any of that sound like the person you know?"
Choso released a chuckle, "Yeah... sounds quite familiar... it’s amazing really. How you are still similar… but also different at the same time… almost as if you are another half of yourself… I hope I can help you remember everything so you can be full once again.”
You don’t know how much of Raven you wanted back or at all. You don’t want to lose yourself within your mind just for Choso to have his Raven. Unfortunately for him, that was not the route you were going but you will allow him to believe it as such. If only he’d help you. It was wrong but you didn’t care. It must be done for your greater good.
You were in control here and you wanted to keep it that way.
Choso continued speaking, “- but all I ask is that you don't vilify my father just yet... You had memory issues after the...the attack...this could just be another sign of that...my father may not have anything to do with it."
“I’ve always had memory issues? Like was I bat shit crazy?”
“I… wouldn’t say that…it was hard for you to pinpoint what was real or what was a dream. You aren’t… well.”
You felt pretty alright but considering how crazy Raven became in-game you would have to say the environment could have been the cause. “I feel more alive than ive ever felt before Choso. Hell I feel pretty well if you ask me… I may have been sick because of-“
“Stop. I know you want to blame my father but he saved you. You can’t remember it now but he did. So please, don’t speak ill of him anymore.”
"Sure…” You settle, knowing that damn well you will vilify that man till the day you die.
Choso shook his head, "I’m not very convinced."
"Well- it's kind of hard considering my situation... But I will TRY desperately to keep an open mind."
“That’s all I ask.”
You offer your hand to seal the deal. With a few shakes, your agreement was concluded. “Will you meet me? So that we can talk more?”
“I’ll find you, just keep on the trail.”
“Thank you…for trusting me, and my alphas. I’m…really happy…to see you again.”
The beta seemed shy by your statement, averting his gaze, “Likewise…”
A question danced on the tip of your tongue. You wanted to know so badly- did you like Raven?
His attitude always displayed such things but you weren’t sure what you would do with that information. So far you’ve only been exploiting it for your own gain…but at the same time, you did want to protect Choso. You wanted to get him on your side. A selfish but righteous mission if you would try to categorize it.
You just had to open his eyes so he could see the truth. If Kenjaku is the same man as within the game then there is no excuse for the horrors he seeks to cause.
“Until then.” You ended your discussion, disconnecting your call.
~
Waking into the real world you could feel the overwhelming pressure of your alphas’ anxiety. It weighed heavily upon you.
“Hmm…” You blinked your eyes open, Gojo and Nanami above you.
“You’re back? How was it? What did he-“ Nanami slapped a hand to Gojo’s lips, successfully silencing him.
“Are you alright?” Was the main question that they all wanted to know.
“Yeah, it actually went better than expected…” You sat up in the bed, Toji handing you a cup of water. You didn’t notice how thirsty you were until you were gulping the drink down.
“You were in there for quite some time…you had us all nervous.” Getou spoke, his eyes relaxing in relief seeing that you were alright.
“Mmm~” You nodded and thanked your alpha for the drink, “He didn’t answer for quite some time, and right when I was about to give up he connected with me. But I’m sure you guys want to know what we talked about. He confirmed that my name is…well my name…but he also said some other interesting things…like how when he called me by my actual name the first time I-fuck- Raven, freaked out.”
“So-“ Gojo twisted his arms around with his pointer fingers up, “-The opposite. Like what happened with you.”
“I’m assuming so. For whatever reason Raven didn't like to be called my name… while I didn’t like being called her name. I wonder why…”
“…”
“Why…did you not like it?” Getou questioned.
“Because I’m not…I didn’t think…I was Raven…She gave herself the name Raven…so maybe she didn’t want to be linked to my name the same way I didn’t want to be linked to hers…” You use your hands as you speak, as if mapping out your ideas, “-I really don’t know where to begin with what’s going on…I just-“ However, you shook your head, unable to grasp anything. Slamming your hands down in a frustrated growl. “Fuck-Choso said he’d meet us. And then I will be able to talk more with him. I think he can help me map out some of the empty spaces…”
“The beta? Is meeting us?” Sukuna questioned.
“Yes-he didn’t go home. He wanted to wait for me to get my memories back. I don’t know why…but… If they wanted to erase my memories and Choso wants to get it back then it’s hard for me to believe that he is in on anything that his father is doing.”
“I wouldn’t say anything…” Nanami murmured, “He did know about the attack on the witches.”
Getou looked thoughtful, “He may not know anything about you. And your part in their plans. A decision that could have been done on purpose.”
“Maybe they were afraid of him getting in the way…. I’m surprised he is doing so much for you…” Toji began with a little lean of his head, “…What were his connections with Raven?”
You also had suspicions about his relationship as well but were you going to voice this in a room full of jealous obsessive possessive alphas? H-E Double Hockey Sticks No. “They grew up together, maybe she’s like family to him.” You end with a shrug.
“He better not get any bright ideas.”
“Sukuna he’s a beta-“
“With alpha traits. I don’t want to hear it miss scent bomb the whole fucking inn.”
“Ooooh~ Are we ever going to let that down?!” You added a flare of attitude that made your alphas laugh. You liked that. You didn’t want to go to bed upset at each other.
Despite whatever weird thing was going on… You were still a pack. And as a pack, you trust that you are going to figure it out.
Even if you were a tactical bomb placed on them, they still weren’t going to throw you away. Again. Their undying love for you was both terrifying and amazing.
~
You said goodbye to Nanami, leaving his room with your other alphas. You chattered a bit as each alpha kissed you goodbye and slipped into their nest.
Sukuna was the last one with you, walking you to your room.
Before you got to it you stopped and looked toward the pups’ door.
Sukuna was already at your door, opening it up for you to enter. He noticed your hesitation, “If you don’t stop bonding with them it will be harder to leave them. Much harder than what you are probably feeling now.”
You knew he was right. He was always sometimes right. Well… he always had a critical eye for things. The things that were tougher for you to look at.
Walking to your room you stopped within the doorway, turning to him but keeping your gaze somewhere on the floor.
“…What you said…about me…”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
“I know… Sometimes I can get emotional… but after I calm down… I realize the things you say make sense… I don’t like that they make sense but… It’s important that you tell me… no matter how upset everyone gets…”
“Yeah, they gave me shit for that while you were in your call. I’m not going to baby you, you aren’t a pup. And I believe treating you as such would be a disservice.”
“I think… it might be the way you say things- but I’m not even mad about that. Like I said it just gave me something to ponder…I just…never thought…That I could very well be playing this role… like I was brought here for it…and I don’t even know that I’m marching straight to my doom…”
“…I don’t think your doom is the target. It’s us.”
“Same thing.” You scoff, “If you all-ugh- if something were to happen to you all that would be my doom…so…I need you to promise me something. You are the only one I can count on for this. If somehow- Raven fucking winter soldier’s me or something- and tries to kill you all- don’t let her Sukuna.”
Your alpha frowned, “I wouldn’t, you can’t even beat me.”
“I’m being serious. You better lock her ass up and get me back here and- if that doesn’t work- I dunno kill her-“
“Tch-I’m not going to kill you.”
“You won’t be killing me you would be killing her.”
“Enough-Stop speaking nonsense.” Sukuna’s whole demeanor changed, he was now growling at you but then he nudged you into your room. “Get your rest before we leave.”
You place a hand on his arm, getting close so he could see the seriousness within the depths of your irises, “Now it is you being emotional. I’m just being realistic about our situation, just like you said. If I disappear…” Your voice lowered into a whisper, “…then you must promise me you will do what needs to be done. You are the only one who can do it and you know it. Don’t-“ your voice cracked but you fought through the choke to speak your wish- “-don’t let her hurt my alphas Sukuna…please-“
Warm lips were pressed to your own. Your wet lashes fell close, unable to seal the tears from running down your cheeks.
You didn’t have time to breathe as Sukuna kissed you so ferociously. It was like a whirlwind of anger and passion. He nipped at your lips in frustration but then kissed them so sweetly.
It took you by surprise, your balance was tipped as your feet moved backwards in a clumsy attempt to steady yourself.
Sukuna chased after until he had you pinned against the wall. The door shut behind him without a glance.
You couldn’t think straight but that was okay. Your mind neglected oxygen, more focused on the tongue and lips that stole your moans so greedily. Rough hands were upon your body, gripping you so tightly as if you were going to somehow disappear.
Sukuna had always been the rough alpha. The one that fucked you hard and fast. It was overwhelming in a sense… as if he himself didn’t know how to articulate his love for you. As if it burned him as much as his warmth burned you. As if it clawed at him as much as his nails digging into your skin. As if it tore at him as much as his teeth tearing at your clothes.
That’s when you were finally able to catch your breath, when he moved to bite your dress off. Allowing it to fall onto the floor. You gasp, knees growing weak as you rock forward but a hand clasps around your neck and nearly slams you against the wall.
Even as you looked at him now it was like he was choking. Choking on how much he yearned for you. Choking more than you, who had a hand upon your throat.
He was never good with words but you could feel it, feel it in the way he touched you. Like his body couldn’t handle what he was feeling. He was just the right amount of roughness…the kind that had you sore but never hurt. He wasn’t capable of it. Because even within all his chaos he couldn’t possibly bring himself to.
Even if it were a life or death situation he couldn’t even kill a different version of you.
“Ah~” You yipped as Sukuna spun you around and pressed you against the wall.
He pulled your hair back hissing into your ear, “Take it back- take it back right now-“
He was hurt by your request. Because if you asked him to do it he would. For you. That’s who Sukuna was. He was the man who took on the hard responsibilities. The responsibility no one else could handle. No matter how much it would eat him up inside. No matter how much it would destroy him.
He’d do anything you asked.
You almost felt as though you had wronged him for even sprouting such words. How could he sound so close to tears? Is that why he turned you around?
Funny how hypocritical this situation was. Wasn’t it he who said to speak truthfully even if he didn’t want to hear it?
If the worse were to come… then you needed the peace to know that your alphas were going to be safe…
So you held your tongue.
“Take it back!”
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
Chef Note: Sukuna Smut Next Chapter My Dear Diners 👩🍳
This week was alright for me…which is better than last week so a win is a win 🙌
Hope you guys had a good week and are taking care of yourself with lots of self-love and care 🖤
Until next meal 😘💋
Interesting note about Adele’s song Hello, I didn’t know it was her talking to herself… so in a way the title still fits in a way that there is reader and Raven and it’s like this internal battle of two different but same people. I know how deep 💁♀️