(Yes like the epic song lmao)
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Singing…
He heard singing…
Like the sweetest lullaby.
Toji’s eyes slowly opened as he found you lying next to him, humming and twirling your finger in the air. A sparkle of your curse energy sprinkled as you played with your magic causing it to make different noises for a little tune. You were also chewing something, a mint stick. You were supposed to swallow it after two minutes but you enjoyed cracking it in your mouth. You said it reminded you of gum once you got to the middle of it, but you can’t swallow gum in your world.
He smiled softly listening to you make your music, watching you lost in your own happy world. You looked so adorable. So content. Why didn’t they want this for you? Who wouldn’t want their love to be happy? That’s all he wanted for you. You weren’t worried about anything else. No pups, witches, or anyone… You could just be… happy. And if it takes the medicine to do that, he’d buy as much of it as he could to take all your suffering away.
It was so simple.
So easy.
He could make sure you would never know pain.
You messed up, one of your lights falling away from you and it popped on him. It felt like a tingly crackle upon his nose. It didn’t hurt at all. But he did make a little noise of amusement.
You gasped looking at him, “I woke you up?”
He shook his head, even though you were at fault he would never blame you. “No you didn’t, I just couldn’t sleep when you are here with me.” He then kissed the top of your head sweetly as you giggled. When he looked upon you he still noticed that exhaustion in your gaze, “Did you not sleep well?”
“I slept.” You rolled to your side resting on your arms as you looked at him with a cute expression (all your expressions were cute to him). “You snore a lot.”
“Oh, so it was I who woke you up?” He questioned with a raise of his brow.
“Ahuh! You are like an owl bear just like Mo…uh…” you let out a strange noise, and your face contorted in a weird way. It was very brief and before he could question if he actually saw it- you let out another laugh.
Toji furrowed his brows rubbing his knuckles upon your cheek. “Just like who?” He was confused about what you were going to say. He believed you were comparing him to someone or something. “Who is Mo?”
Were they an owl bear?
“…” You shift to run your finger upon his lips. “… I like your tongue.”
Toji let out a chuckle, “Do you-ah.” As he spoke you had stuck your thumb in his mouth, massaging his tongue with small curious circles. “Amiallgooddoc?” He questioned trying to talk around your finger. He even went as far as saying “Ahhh.” And sticking his tongue further for your keen inspection.
You let out more giggles… it was the best music to his ears. It was all he wanted to ever hear. He never wanted to hear you cry again.
You leaned forward surprising him when you licked his tongue. His taste buds tingled with the mix of mint and your flavor.
“-Woah.” He felt the warmth of lust warm his blood, he was caught off guard flinching from the surprise, but you don’t let him go far.
“Stick your tongue out.” You say, rising on your knees so you could lock his face between your hands. You even showcased how you wanted him to do it, sticking your own tongue out.
He couldn’t think twice as he did what you asked. His pulse quickened as you leaned down to lick upon him a few times experimentally. You giggled and moaned while you did it, licking his tongue playfully and then sucking on it.
He couldn’t hold back his own moans. He was feeling that heat go from a small warmth to a fire. His arm slid around you and he brought you close to him. He was content with this. Letting you do as you pleased. Your licking turned into a wild mess of lips and saliva. His pants were unbelievably tight, but he would never rush you. Just from kissing you were filling his den with your lust. You were enjoying this.
He noticed you were starting to pass out- he pulled you back with a swift tug of your hair, you gasped for air like you were one breath away from going lights out. “Baby you have to breathe-“ he then felt your mint stick in his mouth licking it with his tongue you point it out-
“You have my gum haha!”
His serious tone shifted just as quickly as it came, he couldn’t stay mad at you. “Yeah I guess I do, you want it back?” He stuck it out and you nodded rushing to have your lips upon him again.
He loved how greedy you were but he also had to make sure you didn’t die in the process. So he would push you a breath away before pulling you back in.
After a while you let out a whine, making him panic, “What’s wrong?” He asked breathlessly.
“Hurts-“
“What- what hurts?”
He was so worried- until you grabbed his hand and pulled it between your thighs. “Here- make it better.”
You didn’t need to tell him anymore.
He rolled you over, sliding the wet fabric to the side as he sank a finger deep within you.
You let out a loud cry arching your back as you palmed your breast, “More more-“ You begged and he obliged. As he inserted a second finger you released a loud scream- cumming and twitching around just the tip of his fingers.
You were extremely sensitive.
He nuzzled you gently, placing sweet kisses on your sweaty temple as he waited for you to come down from your high.
And once you did you clawed at his shirt, begging more with such a hazy glaze in your eyes.
You looked so tired, he didn’t think you could handle any more than the tips of his fingers. He didn’t want to overstimulate you. So he kissed your lips sweetly and gave you soft smooth pets upon your sensitive bud with just his thumb.
This was enough for you, and it was enough for him. He got off on getting you off. He got off on taking care of you. Giving you every demand you wanted and making sure you were satisfied.
“Put-put it in-“ you could barely get the words out.
He sucked in a breath, running a hand across your frame from your neck down to your thighs, his caresses making you shiver and groan, twitching uncontrollably.
Absolutely not. Is what Toji was thinking but he could make it work in a way he could still spoil you.
So he moved back as you pulled his shirt off.
You smelled it and rubbed it along your frame and then between your legs as you humped it while calling his name. “Toji! It hurts!”
Fuck that was hot- but he had to keep himself from going overboard with you. The medicine was probably making you extra sensitive.
“Ok ok.” He shifted his pants down just enough to pull himself out. “I’ll make it all better…I promise.” he pulled your legs together holding your ankles with one hand as he pushed in between your thighs, you were so wet that he squished in easily, his cock rubbing and sliding upon you as you really began to scream, but he never pushed it in. Anytime you would seem like it was too much he’d freeze and let you catch your breath. Telling you how beautiful you were…how pretty you sounded… how good you felt… he whispered these things as gently as he rocked you to sleep.
And once you were finally out he cleaned you up and then held you to his chest.
He can do this.
Feed you, bathe you, play with you, take care of you, and then put you to sleep.
Make you happy.
This was perfectly fine.
He could make this work.
Now he just had to convince you that going home was the best option.
He thought about this, thinking about what to say in making his case. He knows you would want to go to Omega House to solve the next mystery but maybe he could convince you to leave all that behind. This life was much better for you. You don’t need to go out and be a hero, you can just go home and enjoy life and let him take care of you like the princess you are.
Sure it will take the others some time to get used to it but it was much better for you. And if it’s what you want he knows they will finally see he was right.
If he could get you to see the truth then the others will easily fall into place.
He thought hard the entire time you slept in his arms. He didn’t want to argue with you or make you upset… he needed to come at this with a careful approach.
He doesn’t know how much time has passed but he had to step out to use the restroom. Exiting his tent he had just caught Sukuna leaving with Choso. He could smell the alpha's irritation. He could smell all of their stress. He was glad the medicine made it so you couldn’t notice it. That was good. He didn’t want anything to ruin your mood.
He was quick, at least he thought he was quick.
Because when he got back in the tent you nearly tackled him as soon as he entered.
“Woah-“
“You were gone! Where did you go?” You ask him. And though your words sounded upset you didn't seem upset.
“Just went to take a leak sweetheart.”
“Take me with you next time.”
“I wanted to let you sleep.” He placed a kiss on your forehead fixing the nest so he could sit up with you in his arms.
“You can carry me.”
He let out a laugh as did you. “Alright, I’ll remember to do that next time-“ he could barely finish talking before your hand was palming his cock. “Ah- wait.” He grabbed your wrist and you looked at him confused.
“What? Did you not shake it?” You joked with a snicker.
He released a nervous kind of laugh this time not wanting to deny you of anything but he felt it was important to talk about going home first. He wanted to get this off his chest because in the morning they will need to make a final decision.
Rubbing your hand affectionately he said, “I wanted to ask… oh first I should tell you uh…so we were talking and we got into a bit of a heated discussion-“
“About what?”
“-Ah… yeah that’s what I’m getting at… we were trying to decide what is best for you… The others believe you want to go to Mei Mei but I figured it would be best to go home so we could relax.” He offered you a soft smile as your eyes widened a bit.
You had fallen silent and he wondered if he had already upset you. “-If-if- You want to go that’s fine. We can do whatever you want baby but you have been through a lot and I just want what’s best for you -you know that. And I think it’s time we took a break from this whole saving the world thing. We gotta put you first.”
“Yeah.”
“Y-yeah?” He questioned in shock.
“Yeah.” You say again with a cheerful nod.
He gapped, blinking and then shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe you just agreed that easily. “Ok…are you sure? I mean I’m not upset about this but I just want to make sure you aren’t just saying that… I want you to be happy.”
Your gaze had wandered a bit as your eyes skirted around the tent like you were tracking an insect.
“Baby?” He questioned with a bit of concern.
“You are right. Why would I want to save the world?” You let out a little laugh as your eyes focused back on him. “I’m a failure anyway!”
It took a moment for Toji to realize what you said because right after you said it you burst out laughing.
“A failure?” He echoed back in shock.
“Ahuh! A failure! I’m no hero! I’m a failure! Failure failure failure! I can’t save no one! Hahaha!”
This time Toji flinched dropping your hand as if you had slapped him. “What the fuck are you talking about-baby you aren’t a failure!”
“Toji! Toji- shh~ It’s okay my love.” You shook your head placing a hand upon his cheek as if you were comforting him. “We can go home and stay there- we never have to leave anyway! Everything will be fine. At least I hope but I can’t do anything about it haha!”
“Stop it!” Toji pushed your hand away and grabbed your shoulders. “Stop talking like that you’ve done so much!”
You shook your head with a crazed smile on your face. “And it’s done nothing! Heheh! Maybe I should have just gone home when I had the chance!”
“You don’t mean that- if you went home we would have never met you- you want to be here with us-“
“Yes I know Toji, but I think you are all going to die because of me hahaha! So let’s go home! Enjoy the time we have together for as long as we have!” As you spoke tears began to run down your cheeks- but despite that, despite how you cried you still kept that smile on your face and that laughter.
“What-?”
That’s when he realized…your eyes… the tire in them wasn’t sleepiness it was misery…
Toji was shocked- he never felt such dread hit him in the gut as it did now.
“Oh my Tengen I’m crying!” You wipe your face and look at your fingers as if you couldn’t believe the wetness upon them. “Maybe I need some more medicine you should take some with me so we can both just be happy.”
“No…this isn’t right…” he whispered, bringing you to his chest he hugged you tight. “This isn’t right… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…”
“Toji?” You pat his back.
He had his face in your shoulder.
“Toji…” You stopped saying his name when you felt the dampness upon your skin. “…It’s okay Toji. There’s no need to cry. Let’s take the medicine together. Let’s take the pain away. It will feel so much better.”
He nodded his head moving to grab his worm out. You had snatched the medicine bag before he could even fully take it out.
Lifting the vial you cock your head to the side, “Why is there so little in this one?” You didn’t wait for an answer getting the last dose. “No worries! I’ll just take two!”
But before you could take them both Toji took a sleep bomb and crushed it with his hands. The smoke hit you fast and you hit the pillow with a heavy thud.
He took the medicine and tucked you in before the powder could get to him. He had a much higher tolerance to ailments.
He quickly exited the tent in a rush and fell by the fire chest heaving as his body fought off the sleep. Once he felt his limbs return to normal he fell to his side, staring up at the sky as he placed a hand upon his beating heart.
He couldn’t believe what had just happened.
What had he done…?
~
Sukuna had listened quietly as Toji told him what occurred. And near the part where you tweaked the fuck out, the alpha went silent. It was hard for him to finish telling him what happened.
But he did, with a tense throat that made each word difficult to get out.
“…I fucked up Sukuna… how could I not have seen it? You were right that’s not her… that’s not my baby…”
“No. That’s where you are wrong again. That is her, she just needs help.”
Toji let out a little snort, “Am I wrong or are we both wrong?”
“Let’s not get into details.” Sukuna stood.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to wake up the others. Tell them exactly what you told me. This shit ends tonight.”
~
~
“Raven!”
“Raven!”
The pups’ cries jolted you awake in a cold sweat.
They were calling you again.
You released a whine, looking around for Toji. He was nowhere to be found. Where did he go?
“Gone!”
“Abandoned!”
“Fault! Your fault!”
And the stupid creatures were back.
Their cries in your ears made you want to stab your ears with a knife.
“Shut up shut up! Make it- make it stop…” You started to look around for the bottles you’d had in your hands before- before Toji put you to sleep! Why did he do that?! You release a growl jumping up, you throw open the tent only to come out to all of your alphas standing and or sitting around the campfire. “Alphas- alphas the voices- they are back- I need- I need it to go away!” You stumbled over and just as you were about to trip Getou caught you.
“Here.” He was trying to help nurse you a bottle but you had noticed it didn’t have nearly enough in it.
You reared back looking at it with crossed eyes, “Wh-where’s the rest of it?”
“This is it. This is your dose for the day.”
“Y-you don’t think I need more? This looks like half of what I normally take.”
“No. This is it.”
“What if it doesn’t make the voices go away- “
“You haven’t tried-“
“Where’s the other bottle there were two -and and-“You looked over to Toji, newfound anger pushed you toward him. “Why did you do that? Why did you put me to sleep you know I hate it when you guys do that!”
“I was…worried…you were freaking out-“
“So why didn’t you give me the medicine like before! I thought you were going to take my pain away!”
“Baby…baby I know but we- I was wrong I shouldn’t have done that-“
“Are you kidding? So you just want me to be like this? Do you want me to be miserable?”
He had the audacity to look hurt, “No you know I don’t want that-“
“Then make me feel better!”
“I can’t! Not like that! It’s not good for- “
“You’re a fucking liar and a fucking snake fuck you!” You slapped him across the face and you gasped just as shocked as everyone else. The next thing you knew things just exploded.
“That’s enough!” Sukuna snatched your wrist.
The emotions were too much for you to handle it felt like it was ripping your insides- so you screamed in pain, “THIS IS YOUR FAULT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Your fists were weak against his chest but your words hit hard.
“I know! I know it’s my fault! And I can’t take it back but don’t you fucking run away you want to hit me then fucking hit me! Fight me! I won’t even lift a finger- But don’t go somewhere I can’t fucking reach you!”
You pushed away from him seeing the gleam in his gaze. And when you saw Gojo with his eyes red that made your heart hurt even more. Nanami’s head down- he couldn’t even look at you. And Toji kept muttering how sorry he was with his face in his hands.
Everywhere you tried to look- all you could see was agony from your alphas.
What was happening?
You backed away trying to escape from this overwhelming situation- “Ah!” You gasped in shock when Getou grabbed you.
His expression was sorrowful but full of determination, “I know you are hurting- we know you are hurting but this isn’t the way to go. We can’t just cast your pain away that’s not how this works and I wish it worked like that trust me all of us do but it doesn’t.”
“It’s-it has no negative effects in this world- there’s no casar no diseas-it’s fine for me to take it why can’t I-why can’t I just be happy? Why don’t you want me to be happy Getou? You have your vape thing why can’t I have this?”
“No. It’s not the same. I use it as a way to relax you are using this as a way to live your life.”
“Holy fuck you are treating me like an addict! What is this a damn intervention?”
“We just want to help you!” Gojo shouted. “If the stupid creatures are yelling at you then summon them and I will kill them all! If you want those pups and no other ones will make you happy then I’ll figure a way to get them for you!”
“They are scared of me!”
“I’ll find a way to make them not scared of you!”
“Do you know how fucked that sounds? What are you going to do brainwash them?!”
“If it will keep you here with me I’ll fucking do it!”
“Enough Gojo.” Getou put his hand out trying to calm his alpha brother. He was getting that lunatic expression and was spouting out deranged nonsense.
“I think what Gojo is trying to say…” Nanami began slowly taking off his glasses, “Ask for anything and we will give it to you but-“
“Then give me the stupid-“
“But!” Nanami interrupted you with a hard but sad glare. “That. Don’t ask us to turn you into a husk of yourself! I thought…I thought that you were going to be stuck like that, I thought you weren’t even there… I was ready to accept you like that…but this is the first time I feel like I am talking to you…so please… don’t leave…I’m begging you to stay with us...”
“If-if that’s how you feel then join me- join me in my world-“
“No. That’s not how life works sweetheart. And you know that.”
You let out a pained whine, rubbing at your chest. “It hurts…it hurts…”
“I know…and I can’t even promise that you won’t experience pain again and again…but we are here… we are all here to shoulder that with you…We can get through it…as a pack… as a family…but this doesn’t work… without all of us…we need all of us….including you.”
You let out a broken sob. You had experienced so much in this world. So much fear, grief, sorrow, anxiety, and everything in between… for the first time - for the first time you had found peace. For the first time, you didn’t care about anything. It was like you were walking around with heavy weights and the medicine finally took that away.
You had peace in your mind but it was a paradise you couldn’t live in and you knew that to be true.
You hated that it was true.
But you hated how much your alphas were hurting the most.
“Here…” Getou assisted you in taking your medication. You sniffled through it and then you had settled next to Toji.
“I’m …sorry…” You spoke with your head down in shame.
“I deserved it…for being a terrible alpha…”
“No… what I said was terrible…”
Sukuna settled on the ground to your left.
“I-I’m sorry Sukuna…”
The alpha didn’t look toward you as he picked apart a stick and threw the pieces in the fire, “You didn’t say anything I didn’t already know.”
You were about to reject that notion with teary eyes, and a wobbly lip but Getou stopped you.
“Hey.” He wiped your tears away with a gentle kiss on each side, “It’s okay. None of us are mad at you darling. Relax.” He finished with a kiss to your lips and then sat on the log next to you. “We are going to be okay.” He hugged you into his side, rubbing your arm.
Gojo had come over to sit on the ground between your legs, he kissed your hand and then held it to his cheek. You carded your fingers in his white fluffy hair, allowing the medicine to lull the background noises away. You didn’t feel that overwhelming feeling of happiness. That feeling like you could be in a fire and you’d be just fine with it. It sucked to not feel so pleasant… to let the drugs autopilot you… But your alphas were right, you couldn't live that way.
You needed to get your shit together.
Your pack settled and though it was silent… except for your sniffles…
You felt…ok.
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Chef Note: I know there were a lot of onions these past few meals but I think I’m finally seeing clearer soup lol.
I wanted to work on our celebratory meal but I felt I needed to get this story out of the dump first before I could move on to it. So after things smooth out I’ll start working on it.
Hope you enjoyed this meal until next time ^=^~!