Salutations, swinelings. Daniel here. There's no bonus episode this week because reasons. Good reasons, too! What are they? None of your business. But we still feel we owe you a little something, so that's what this post is for. It's little, and it's definitely something. Sort of a roundup of all the garbage we won't be covering today. Some of it will likely show up in future episodes, but there's just so much overflow.
You can click the links below, check out the content and just imagine what kind of epic riffing we'd be doing if we weren't taking the day off like Ferris Bueller. Maybe your imagination will surpass the real thing!
But FIRST: Vancouver live show, folks. We're getting closer and closer to sold out. Something like 80% of tickets are like an alien Muppet: gonzo. Maybe more. It's a hot ticket. So if you're a resident of BC or anywhere else in the Republic of Cascadia (I'm looking at you, Oregon), you bettah. Bettah what? Bettah click below and get your tickets:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/bad-hasbara-live-at-chillxstudio-vancouver-tickets-1984330085703
Okay. I mean, what a week. Where to start? On the Am Yisrael AI front, there's some really outrageous slop being generated that depicts Tehranians suntanning beatifically as their city is bombed to smithereens, because freedom, like acid rain apparently, is great for that inner and outer glow. (Sound ON because you must hear what artist and song they chose to go with this insanity.)
Also, a truly deranged AI video in which two babes representing the US and Israel (you'll never guess who the blonde one is!) pull another babe representing Iran out of the literal ground and, after freeing her from her mean old burqa, all three walk hand in hand through the sand of liberty. (Sound ON once again, because you must hear what artist and song they chose to go with THIS insanity.)
Back in the actual world, things are dire as fuck. I'm almost relieved we don't have to put on our irony caps and satirize this shit today because it's just so bleak. (Don't worry, we'll be raring to go on Monday.)
Sigh. We've got Peatmoss Hegseth chest-thumping about "warfighting" and fashily instructing mainstream media on how to be MORE obsequious and servile during an illegal American war of destruction. As if they needed pointers. Bonus points to Pete for saying that the Ellison takeover of CNN can't come soon enough. I agree. Why keep up the pretense?
We've got an amazing tweet by an Israeli "journalist" where a couple of young IOF pilots gaze down from the sky at the natural beauty of Iran and wonder, wide-eyed, at what this gorgeous country could possibly "want from us". I don't speak Farsi so I don't know, but I'm thinking, maybe to not be bombed by a bunch of (bomb-)sheltered maniacs?
We've got Netanyahu bragging in Hebrew about how Israel is becoming a regional superpower and how global superpowerdom is right around the corner. No hubris detected! (Now, some people claim that Bibi has eleven fingers in this video. To which I say: so what if he does? The better to hold the globe with, my dear. What, Jews can't be Chrysalids now? That's racist, yo.)
What else? Well, we've got another synagogue attack, this time in Michigan. Thank God no one was hurt or killed, of course, besides the man who did the attack. But I'm not celebrating that, either, nor am I taking my eyes off the ball of who's really to blame for creating the conditions that overdetermine this sort of thing and make all Jews (and all people) less safe. Zionism and its works remain the number one threat to Jewish safety and it's not even close. Multiple members of this man's family had recently been killed by Israel in Lebanon, a place where something like 10% of the population has been displaced and thousands slaughtered in recent weeks. Meanwhile, the temple itself—called Temple Israel, with a long history of fervent Zionism, but don't you dare conflate Jews with Israel—recently hosted an Israeli soldier for some sort of live painting event called From The Battlefield To The Studio. So, like... well, pour me a tall glass of FML Pale Ale.
Is there more? Of course there is. But my brain is starting to lee kern out of me skull, and my doctor says that's an early warning sign of... well, I forget, but it's not good. So I'll leave you with this poor-taste joke I'm particularly proud of because it's at Shai Davidai's expense, pun intended.
Usurers of the world unite— we have nothing to lose but our pounds of flesh!
See you next week, by which I mean you'll see us next week. And buy those Vancouver tickets, ya hosers!
love, Count Doom-ku-pill (a.k.a. Daniel)