I didn’t end up going into work. I called in sick, and Captain Voin was more than willing to give me the day off. Usually I’d say something to Lieutenant Harkness, but it was kinda funny hearing the sheer panic and get well soon wishes from the Captain. Bastard was probably worried I’d miss the expedition in five days.
Thanks to that, I was home by the time Sylvie got off from school. I checked the clock one more time, and stared up at the roof. I was… I was dreading and looking forward to her getting home. I’d cleaned everything up, and there wasn’t even a hint of blood-scent left anywhere in the apartment. Even still, I couldn’t help but feel she’d figure something out.
I clutched the black wolf plushie I’d been practising with tighter to my chest for a moment, and then set it down on the couch in front of me. It attentively watched me as I rehearsed what I was going to say once more. “Sylvie, I’m not leaving because I don’t love you, it’s just—“
I cut myself off, and pulled at my hair. That wasn’t quite right. Following up with anything made it seem like I was lying. I pulled my tail into my lap, and lightly brushed the pure silver fur. I’d long plucked out all the black strands.
“This will be the last time I leave you.” The words were like acid in my throat as I spoke to the plushie. I couldn’t keep that promise. I couldn’t say that to her and get her hopes up.
I rubbed at my arm. It was still a bit injured, but my regeneration hadn’t disappointed. It was like it went into overdrive to ensure my sister wouldn’t see me in a cast and be worried about me. It was still a bit slow to move, but feeling and mobility had returned enough, even if the bone hadn’t fully mended yet.
“I’ll think of something, right?” I stretched out, and made the wolf nod along with what I was saying.
My phone buzzed, and a jolt traveled through my tail. Someone texted me! I pulled out my phone—oh, just a scammer. The surge of joy died in its place, and I hollowly dropped my phone into my lap. Heh, ‘course…
The front lock rattled, and the door opened a moment later. Sylvie slipped into the apartment with a headset perched on her ears in a frankly uncomfortable looking manner. She slung her bag off while humming, and turned back to lock the door.
My tail straightened, and I perked up on the couch. I carefully hid the back wolf plushie to the side. “Hey, Sylvie!”
“Gah!” My sister jolted, and spun around to face me. Her ears shot straight up, and the fur along them stood on end. Her warm amber eyes darted around the room before finally settling on me. “By the Pyre, Reyna, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
”At your age?” I stood up, and tried to keep my tail from wagging as I approached her. I opened my arms wide, though I stayed back a few steps in case she was still mad at me from earlier.
She didn’t hesitate a second before returning my hug. Her smile was downright radiant, and her canines cutely peeked out. “What are you doing home so early?”
“I was given the day off.” The lie smoothly flowed through my lips. I hated how easily they poured out these days. It was fine, though. Once I got the Psyker immunity, I could start being honest again.
“Really?” She moved around me to the couch, and took a seat. “You should have the whole week off with the expedition coming up. They aren’t worried about overworking you?”
”Heh… nobody’s worried about overworking me.” Work was about all I was good for anymore. I sat down on the edge of the couch beside her, and folded my hands into my lap. “Look, I’m—“
”I’m sorry, Reyna.” Sylvie beat me to the punch. She drew her knees up to her chest, and tightly hugged her legs so that her eyes was just barely peeking over. “I should’ve never said I hated you. It was immature, and—and I’m sorry.”
I pinched my arm to ensure I was really awake this time. “It’s okay—“
”No, it’s not okay, sis.” Her tail flopped around in front of her, and she dropped her hands to fuss with it. “I know you’re struggling too, and I… I was just so mad! You make me feel so powerless sometimes, you know?”
”More than you probably think.” I laughed dryly, and allowed myself to relax. If there was one thing I could understand, it was a total lack of agency. “But you aren’t powerless. Especially not now.”
Something in my voice must’ve given away what I was talking about. Sylvie winced, and refused to meet my eyes. “… you finally talked to Sister Neriyov again?”
”Yeah.” I sat back, and stared down at my feet. The way she said that—it wasn’t really a question. The sister must’ve told her. “Why didn’t you just tell me? Is… is it a trust thing?”
”No, Reyna.” Sylvie sat upright, and rapidly shook her head. “If I didn’t trust you, who would I?”
”Sister Neriyov.” Even as I rebutted her, the tip of my tail twitched around in joy. I managed to keep my ears from giving me away, but my traitorous tail never got the memo.
”I just… power separates people. I’ve seen it at school a lot recently. I didn’t want that to happen to us.” She grabbed my hands, and looked away. Her ears drooped pitifully against her silver hair. “It would just be easier if we were both Aspectless.”
Right, with her age group transitioning to 15, more and more Awoken were probably being found amongst her classmates. She’d have a front seat view of just how destructive power could be not only in use, but also on the minds of those that wielded it. That was especially true in kids who hadn’t had their worldview set, yet.
”Oh, Sylvie.” I pulled her into a tight hug, and gently rubbed her back. “That kind of thing won’t separate us. I’m overjoyed you awoke your Aspect, honestly. We aren’t both whiffs—”
“Never say that about yourself again.” Her arms tightened to the point I felt my back pop, and my arm start to throb once more. “You aren’t a whiff. You’re my brave, generous, and far too kind big sister who wears her heart on her sleeve way too often.”
”I…” My tail fully broke into a cheerful wag, and I could feel my eyes start to sting. Is that really how she sees me? Do I even still have a heart?
My mind flashed back to the Reaver I killed just the other night. I hadn’t even thought about him since it happened. Could someone like me, who killed in cold-blood like that, really say I still had a heart?
”Promise me, Reyna.” She pulled away, and grabbed my hands once more. Her ears were pointed straight up, and she watched me with way too much focus.
”I promise.” That I’ll protect you, no matter what.
That seemed to do the trick, and she let go of my hands to once more curl up in the corner of the couch. The tension in the room faded into that pleasant warmth of family. For what felt like an age, the two of us just sat there on the couch listening to the rain splatter against the window.
“Are we okay?” Her voice was impossibly small.
“Always.” I patted her knee lightly, and backed to my side of the couch. “So— you’re Aspect? What’d you get?”
The curiosity ate at me like nothing else. Seriously, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been so intensely curious about something. It could be anything. Knowing Sylvie, it was probably something super impressive.
“Oh…” She rubbed at the back of her head, and stretched out a hand over her knee. A spectral blue glow flowed out of the back of her hand, and condensed into phantasmal blue claws like those of a wolf. “They’re super sharp. Can’t cut through metal, but I’ve had no issue with wood when I practiced with them.”
I breathlessly watched her Aspect activate. Aspects were the birthright of almost all Apexes, and they were our exclusive ability. It wasn’t quite magic, but it definitely wasn’t anything mundane either. Usually, it was something heavily related to our Totem.
Dad once used to say that it was the expression of our inner wildness… heh. Guess I really was a tamed wolf then, huh? I didn’t have an Aspect, so I must not have a hint of wildness left in me.
“So cool!” I popped up from the couch, and moved around to get a better look. “Is it draining to use? How long can you keep it active? How long has it been since you unlocked your Aspect?”
”Woah, woah, woah… one at a time, sis.” Sylvie smiled, and the spectral blue claws blinked out of existence. “Um… it’s not too draining. I can easily go for an hour, but I stopped testing after that.”
”And how long has it been?” That you’ve been keeping something like this from me? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt quite a bit, but at the moment I was just too happy for her to care about all of that.
”… a year,” she said softly.
A year. My ears buzzed lightly, and my tail curled uncomfortably. That was twelve months. For twelve months she’d been moving around and keeping secrets from me. She must’ve been terrified, and I hadn’t been there for her a single step of the way. I was intimately aware of just how scary it was to wake up one day different than you were the day before.
My fists tightened until my nails dug into my palms. Oh, Sylvie… What have I done to you? How had I not noticed you suffering in silence all this time? More importantly, had we really grown that far apart?
“I… I was going to tell you.” Her voice went quiet once more. “I was just—I was scared it’d change our relationship. Are… are you mad?”
”I could never be mad at you for something like this.” Not when I was still actively lying to you about who I was and what I did. “It’s really cool.”
”Thanks.” She shyly ducked her head. My little sister was truly just too adorable. “I wish I could give it to you.”
My tail puffed up, and the hair on the back of my neck raised. The thought of taking my little sister’s power was downright horrifying. I’d rather go back to the kennel. “Even if you could, I’d never accept. I’m fine just the way I am. Really.”
”It’s just… an Aspect would really help out there.” She nodded her head to the side, and looked up to me. “I’m worried.”
”Sylvie, I’ll be fine.” I patted her head lightly, and ruffled her ears. A short giggle broke out of her despite the circumstances. “Even if the entire expedition team gets wiped, I’ll come back to you. I promise.”
She looked up, and her amber eyes met my own pale red ones. ”You better keep that promise.”
“I will.” I backed away from her into the middle of the living room. “And… the Awakening Ceremony? It’s totally okay if it—“
”I’m going to Awaken, Reyna.” She cut me off with so much confidence that for a moment I believed her. For a moment, the harsh reality that only one in a little under ten thousand people actually became an Awoken faded away.
”… okay. I’ll come back to find you Awoken.” Part of me felt absolutely terrible for saying that. It was unfair, and put pressure on her shoulders for something she couldn’t even control.
”Dad was Awoken, Reyna.” She patted my shoulder. “Just have a bit of faith in me, ‘kay?” After all, it runs in the family, doesn’t it?”
”You’re right.” Dad… fat lot of good being an Awoken did for him. If he wasn’t a Beyonder, would he have lived back then? My fists tightened, and I took a breath. “Now, enough of the stuffy topics. I have all night off, so why don’t we go do something?”
”Um… I have some homework.” She sighed heavily, and moved to go grab her backpack. “After that, though?”
”Of course, of course.” I ran a hand through my hair. Of course she’d have homework. Right, that was a normal thing in schools. “I’ll just… I’ll wait for you to finish.”
”’Kay! I’ll try to be quick.” She nodded to me, and slipped into her bedroom.
I stared at the closed door. Only once I heard her pencil scratching on paper did I stand and pick up the black wolf plushie. I held it out in front of me, and whispered, “that went well, didn’t it?”