I'm sorry for being so so damn quiet and I can explain... I had to see a psychologist and a sleep specialist because of what was happening to me. For the past month and a half I have been so stressed and depressed because no matter what I was trying to do I had about 22 people message me or put in the comments of my posts, "You're taking too long it's starting to get annoying." or messages saying that I need to make my stuff move less and less "cartoony" and make longer and longer animations to compete with other people that it made me beyond stressed out.
I was losing SO much sleep that I would only be able to sleep until 8 - 11am and then wake up at 2 or 3pm because my head kept screaming, "GET BACK TO WORK!!!!" And literally.... TOLD BY MY PSYCHOLOGIST, THAT I WAS GOING INSANE. I was showing signs of stress induced psychosis because I wasnt sleeping right at ALL.
It was so bad, that I would have these random episodes of disassociating and hallucinating that I didnt know what day it was, where I was, who my roommate was, and even my own name. I literally was starting to lose my mind. I started having INTENSE nightmares of being R*ped, murdered, chased, skinned, shot, all sorts of nightmares and they were every single night. I was losing my mind...
But, there are good news at the end of this all. Both doctors told me just how important proper sleep was and so week I tried forcing myself to sleep at 11pm without the use of melatonin... Because thats a whole other roller coaster that I dont wanna go down... But I forced myself to sleep at 11pm on thursday, and I slept until 4pm the next day. I missed that much sleep. And so for past weekend I had a status on my discord that had me on DND and saying I needed alone time. I turned off my phone, turned off notifications on discord, turned off notifications on everything and just let myself do what I fully wanted which was FUCK ALL NOTHING for 3 days straight.
And I cant stress enough how much I needed that... Because already after 3 days of forcing myself to sleep at 10 - 11pm and waking up at like 9 or 10am? I feel 300x better INSTANTLY. And my short term insanity has already diminished significantly. I can actually THINK again and have a good mindset to actually want to work.
So... Im okay, I've got things sorted out, I've talked to professionals, and I'm gonna be okay <3. Im going to continue to work on animations, the Lycaon and Mav animation as well, and as a quick PSA
GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP ON TIME!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IMPORTANT SLEEP IS! TRUST ME!