"I am not wearing this." Thalion protested loudly.
He currently wore black leather pants far too tight for comfort while his shirt was equally restrictive and ripped open in multiple places with the half golden, half black emblem of their faction placed dramatically above his heart.
"Might be a bit too much. Then let’s continue with the next one," Nyssa said calmly.
The worst part in Thalion’s opinion was that the formation allowing him to speak with the goddess stood directly in the middle of the plaza for everyone to see. There was sound isolation but absolutely nothing preventing people from watching him constantly undress and try on increasingly ridiculous outfits.
This was already the fifth one and not even the craziest so far.
"Please just give me the stupid emblem. I’ll attach it to my robe and everything will be fine," Thalion pleaded.
"No way. The others will all wear intricate robes with countless decorations and enchanted accessories. You’ll look like a beggar if you arrive in that red robe. Also this is a social gathering. Appearing there in your battle attire is highly inappropriate and most importantly it would reflect badly on us," Nyssa insisted.
"I seriously don’t understand this obsession with looking rich. You wanted all eyes on me right? With my normal clothes I already stand out."
"Exactly but you will stand out because you’ll look more mesmerizing than anyone else," Nyssa replied before turning toward the two goddesses she had apparently abducted specifically to design the perfect outfit for Thalion’s appearance.
Those two were in a significantly worse situation than Thalion himself because Nyssa wasn’t nearly as patient with them. The fact that Thalion rejected literally everything they created definitely didn’t help either.
"Please can’t you just make me a decent shirt that isn’t skin tight and a normal pair of pants? I’d even wear shorts at this point but everything you make either turns me into Count Dracula or looks like I’m heading to some weird sex party."
The two goddesses moved incredibly quickly and within barely half a minute another outfit arrived through the portal.
"About time," Thalion muttered. Half a minute could feel surprisingly long when standing in your underwear in the middle of the base.
"Jo no way I’m even trying that one on."
The new outfit somehow looked even worse. It resembled some kind of absurdly tight catsuit made from glossy black material.
"We are getting nowhere and time is running out," Nyssa hissed visibly losing patience. Thalion guessed she had accepted this task for some personal reason and so far things definitely weren’t proceeding the way she had imagined.
"Ehm miss… perhaps we could simply create what the mortal described earlier just in…" one of the goddesses carefully suggested with a trembling voice.
"Fine then do it. We only have a few minutes left and I still need to start the transmission circle too. Everyone else is already sitting around with food in the relaxation chamber while I’m stuck doing all the work. Honestly where are the slaves when you actually need them? Gods if I had known how annoying being a housewife would be…"
Thalion wisely decided not to comment on Nyssa’s current mental state.
Thankfully it didn’t take much longer before the next set of clothes arrived and this time Thalion actually sighed in relief seeing something that finally looked normal.
The shoes were black and elegant like something you would normally wear with an expensive suit though they carried a slightly older retro style instead of appearing perfectly polished. Thalion had no idea what exactly the goddesses had done but so far he actually liked it.
The pants were loose black fabric in the same style as the shoes while the shirt fit comfortably instead of strangling him. Across the dark material stretched several crimson marks resembling claw scratches while the polished emblem of Solan’s and Nyssa’s faction rested proudly across the chest.
Well great.
At least he could now participate in this absurd show wearing something that resembled actual clothing.
Roughly a minute later Nyssa reappeared inside the formation.
"So everything is finally ready. When the circle starts glowing red you need to step onto it. Your awareness together with your appearance will then be projected into Integrated Space."
A dangerous grin slowly spread across her face.
"We will all be watching by the way and your friends already shared several very interesting ideas regarding what they hope you’ll do during the show."
With those ominous words the goddess disappeared.
What exactly had happened to the two goddesses forced to design his clothes Thalion had absolutely no idea.
Just when he started wondering whether there was still time to simply walk away from the circle, it suddenly lit up crimson red. Apparently that meant it was time.
Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long.
His consciousness was ripped away in a sensation somewhat similar to the visions he once experienced as an Eclipsari until he finally reappeared inside a strange room where an even stranger god waited for him.
The creature stood roughly five meters tall with a humanoid body though instead of arms it possessed four massive tentacles. Its eyes sat atop long stalks extending from the top of its head making it resemble some horrifying cosmic snail.
"Hello! I am Pinkype and I shall be today’s host!" the creature announced with a voice far higher pitched than Thalion expected from something of that size. "Currently we are not live yet so I wanted to give you the opportunity to ask a few questions beforehand and if I may add it is absolutely amazing to finally have you here."
"Hi. I do actually have a few questions," Thalion replied while glancing down at himself. "First why can’t I feel my body anymore?"
Something about this transmission definitely felt wrong.
"Oh yes don’t worry about that. It’s merely a safety measure I installed personally so your patrons can’t secretly tell you what to say." Pinkype waved one of his tentacles proudly. "You know gods always claim they don’t care but personally I suspect several very powerful factions are deeply invested in what happens here today. Should you ever wish to leave simply say so. Either way absolutely no harm can come to you here. Everyone present is merely a projection."
That explanation only created even more questions.
" Great... so who woud want to attack me?"
"Right! I kept that part secret until now." Pinkype’s eye stalks wiggled excitedly. "This won’t be a normal interview but rather a discussion involving multiple human and elven Chosen currently participating in the war on your planet. You are also the only one without a divine blessing which is incredibly exciting by the way. Unless you secretly possess a lower blessing? No no don’t answer yet. I shall ask that during the show."
Thalion’s mood immediately worsened.
Sure he had never been particularly excited for this show in the first place but now this sounded like an absolute disaster. Some kind of peak multiversal reality show designed entirely around provoking chaos.
"Fine. Anything else I should know?" Thalion asked hoping the faster this started the faster it would end.
"Only standard decorum. Every participant remains restricted to their assigned platform to ensure complete safety. Let me think…" Pinkype paused dramatically. "Ah yes if someone screams too much I simply mute them temporarily. Otherwise feel completely free to behave naturally. In fact I strongly encourage it! Treat this as if you were speaking with someone back on your home planet."
That somehow sounded even worse.
"Now prepare yourself because I shall announce your arrival and teleport you directly into the studio."
Thalion liked this less and less with every passing second.
"And our final guest is someone we all know!" Pinkype’s amplified voice suddenly thundered through existence itself. "Yes my dear gods and mortals who could this mysterious figure be? Is there perhaps another mortal from the new universe whose name has already spread across countless worlds? A mortal with no divine blessing who nevertheless dominated both the first and second system events?"
The host spread all four tentacles dramatically outward.
"Please welcome… THALION!"
The next moment Thalion appeared in the center of what looked disturbingly similar to the senate in star wars senate only vastly larger.
Every Chosen stood upon small floating disks surrounded by transparent barriers while Pinkype hovered proudly in the middle. Beyond them stretched countless additional floating platforms packed with spectators. There were so many viewers Thalion couldn’t even begin estimating their number.
The Chosen themselves despite belonging to entirely different races and factions all suddenly shared one thing in common the moment Thalion arrived.
Every single one of them looked at him with murderous hatred.
Eric. Ethan. Ryan. Elara. Another human mage Thalion didn’t recognize.
On the elven side stood Kaelir, Olyndra, the assassin from the battlefield, and three additional Chosen Thalion hadn't encountered before.
All of them completely ignored each other while focusing entirely on him.
Even though everyone present existed merely as projections their auras still leaked through the barriers slightly and the pressure alone felt dangerous.
The most surprised person however seemed to be Pinkype himself.
The host had clearly expected a dramatic ideological debate between humans and elves. The fact that the humans apparently disliked Thalion almost as much as the elves clearly wasn’t part of the script.
"Welcome everyone to the fifth episode of Beyond the System!" Pinkype announced enthusiastically trying to recover control over the atmosphere. "Today instead of a simple interview we have gathered the top Chosen currently engaged in the military conflict over planet R-891064!"
"I of course will ask them a few questions of my own. Then they will have the opportunity to speak with each other and perhaps even settle the conflict peacefully. Last but not least you, the audience, will get the chance to ask the frontrunners and strongest beings on their planet a few questions as well. Aren’t you all excited?" Pinkype roared dramatically which caused almost everyone in the center to frown while the audience erupted into deafening cheers.
"Now my first question goes to Olyndra, Chosen of Saeryn. How is the situation on R-891064 currently developing? We already know war has erupted but how are things progressing so far?" Pinkype asked with the enthusiasm of someone discussing the single most important matter in the entire multiverse.
"So far things are naturally progressing very well for us elves," Olyndra replied with typical elven arrogance. "Only a few days ago we launched a full assault on the human fortress and heavily damaged their defenses. We are confident that only a few more attacks will be necessary before we wipe them out entirely. All those humans you see over there never had any real chance and mostly hid behind their shields."
"Uh very interesting. What do the humans have to say about that?" Pinkype turned dramatically. "Hmm Thalion, what was your personal experience fighting the elves?"
"Ehm there seems to be a small misunderstanding here. I’m not actually part of the human faction and they want to kill me almost as desperately as the elves do," Thalion explained casually.
That statement visibly confused absolutely everyone. Especially Pinkype.
"Eh… so what Olyndra said about you being present there was incorrect?" the god asked while clearly trying to make sense of the situation.
"No that part was correct."
That answer somehow only made things worse and confused murmurs spread throughout the audience.
"So you were there but you fought for neither the elves nor the humans?"
"Well... kind of."
"Then what exactly were you doing in an active warzone?"
Thalion sighed. At this rate the others would barely get any time to speak at all.
"Well originally I mainly went there to visit a few friends but then things escalated a little bit." He shrugged calmly.
"Question directed toward the human Chosen then. Why exactly is Thalion not part of the human alliance?"
Pinkype clearly wasn’t becoming any smarter from Thalion’s answers and desperately tried another angle instead.
While the Chosen considered their response, Thalion meanwhile studied their outfits. Every single one wore absurd amounts of decorations and expensive-looking robes as if they were kings and queens preparing for coronations.
In other words they all looked ridiculous.
To Pinkype’s growing annoyance Ryan found his voice first and unfortunately not with the kind of answer the host had hoped for.
"This bastard threw me out of the system event!" Ryan shouted immediately. "We were in the same party and while I distracted all the enemies instead of bringing the treasure back he just ran away and hid like a coward."
For a brief moment Thalion thought Pinkype’s eye stalks were actually tying themselves into knots from stress.
"Aha… good to know." Pinkype’s voice sounded noticeably weaker. "Before we move on to another topic Thalion would you perhaps like to respond to that rather harsh accusation?"
"Well not exactly like he described it but yeah I kicked the bitch out," Thalion shrugged without much concern.
"YOU—" Ryan exploded only for a translucent barrier of silence to instantly surround him after Pinkype flicked one tentacle.
The host pressed two tentacles against his head as though fighting off a massive headache.
"Okay… okay…" Pinkype muttered before forcing himself to continue. "So all of you dislike Thalion because he removed Ryan from the first system event?"
"Nah not really." Ethan shrugged casually. "I think everyone here has their own reasons besides the fact that he’s evil and can’t be trusted."
That answer visibly killed something inside Pinkype though outwardly the god merely wrapped himself tightly in his own tentacles while taking several deep breaths.
"Isn’t that wonderful," Pinkype finally said with the strained smile of someone rapidly losing control over their own show. "As it appears things may become significantly more interesting than expected. In that case let us proceed from left to right."