A Harper Report!
I haven't done one of these since March so this is basically an aggregate of the last three months of J&A content organised by personality type. More like link-182, or something.
SO!
If you're here for Jake & Amir:
I open my trenchcoat to reveal a beautiful selection of genuine J&A Watches:New Girlfriend and GlassesBTSOff DaysHop To It and Digitas Promo VideoWorld Cup Trick and Rick FoxMean Tweets (1&2)
They also J&A watched Hardly Working, specifically:Adults, Office Fight, The Perfect WomanHoagie, Nut Tappers, BangkokSoup'd, Sarah's Birthday, MuggingLove and Sleep, Phone Fight, TroughingWitch Hunt, Bang BusAnd because they're their own bosses they can go wherever the wind takes them, like a Monday's Musings, a Segment, or an If I Were You, with questions solicited from this very patreon.Even more blessed, they revived their English Premier League football podcast COYS BOYS! These episodes are wildly out of date by now but that doesn't make them any less meaningful: Spurs Relegation Special, If I Were Coys, Season FinaleThey've also been killing it with sketches! Fun HangStock Market 2Mean Tweets 3They're releasing one a month until morale improves, and this is the first place they're posted. Pony up to get in on the action!
If you're here for Geoff:
He's been filming some vertical videos with Amir: Meditation JoyUsing Songs to Get RichOrdering From Ghost KitchensHe posted another one while I was writing this dang thing! Guy Who Only Watches TV from 1949, haven't watched yet so just gonna assume it's good.
The outtakes from these sketches are exclusive to this patreon, you can't get this shit anywhere else! Unless they're eventuallty posted on the J&A youtube, but in that case you got to laugh FIRST and that's really what counts.He's been keeping That's Funny coming every single week! I won't post them all BUT you really should check out the two episode with DEN GEOFF - That's Foley and Groprah - in fact, it's the least you could do.He's also still holding down the Zarty fort! They don't stay recorded (for the greater good) so if you want to know what goes on at such curiously themed events like "4/20 but for Cigars" and "Geoff's Half Birthday", you need to subscribe to the One Days tier, no other way about it!
If you're here for Sports:
On top of the aforementioned Coys Boys and J&A Watch World Cup and Rick Fox, there's been a LOT of sports talk across all dimensions of the patreon, leading to GRIN: Shit Eating or Cha- edition.
Anya and Marika talked hockey and a little baseball on That's Funny.
BUCKETS IS briefly BACK: Amir and Billy Scafuri went live after Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals.
Billy also joined me, Amir, and Geoff on That's Funny where we talked basketball, and football of all genders.
Then later he joined an episode of That's Funny with Amir and Will Conover and they talked about sports to the point that the comments revolted. Do you hear the people sing? In this instance, yes!
If you're here for Reilly:
Reilly has been absent from the Zarties while working on Survivor BUT you can see her in the Fun Hang and Mean Tweets 3 sketches. Geoff also called her in Fiji on a recent episode of That's Funny, and you won't believe what happened next! Unless you watched this episode of The Headgum Podcast, in which case you probably will believe it.
If you're here for Sabrina:
If you've ever had the fantasy that one day you'd get the opportunity to say what you want to Amir Blumenfeld and you absolutely crush it and cow him into submission and everyone in the comments cheers, Sabrina lived it.
And that's a Geoff-less episode of That's Funny, if you're into that! A special shout out to Aaron Andrews and the Geocean's Eleven, who were brave enough to click a zoom link Amir posted without comment in the Patreon chat 🫡
If you're here for Amir ONLY:
Sometimes he goes live on here. No one can know his ways except for him, so the only way to know something like this is happening is to subscribe and wait.
On an April episode of That's Funny, the subject of Amir having hosted a prank show on MTV came up. This is an episode of that show:
You get ALL OF THE ABOVE for less than 15 dollars! Not to invoke Les Mis again but all paid subscribers should be scared that Javert will hunt them across the years because they shouldn't be allowed to get away with such a steal. And all free subscribers should be scared and jealous at how much fun all the paid subscribers are having being chased by Javert and posting memes in the chat.
Finally, I leave you with the results of the J&A Studios personality quiz. Thank you, love you!!
If you picked mostly Jake & Amir: You're a millennial with some pretty cool stickers on your Macbook or PC tower. You have fast internet speed and a lovely wife. 311 has appeared in your Spotify top 100 for seven consecutive years and you don't feel any type of way about that.
If you picked mostly Geoff:You frequently make comments or ask questions in public that make others uncomfortable. You wear boots and get annoyed when your shirt billows in the wind, yet you never button it up. Your star sign is Limax, the slug.
If you picked mostly Sports:You have a varied collection of hats and, on more than one occasion, have wondered aloud why Marshawn Lynch never hosted SNL. You know the B-52s primarily from their appearance in the Flintstones movie as the BC-52s.
If you picked mostly Reilly:You're either a lady with an endearing disposition and deranged mind OR a guy who unfortunately shouldn't be allowed within 50 feet of Reilly due to safety concerns.