Choosing Not to Take That Path
From the day they entered into the secret contract, Nicholas and Wendy spent much of their time together as fake lovers.
They decided the contract would last until the graduation party. Once they graduated, they were to return to being just friends. Honestly, Nicholas had worried whether Wendy’s plan would work, but the number of women approaching him decreased far beyond his expectations. Having rumors spread about things that weren’t true was annoying, but being almost entirely free from romantic gazes and women’s voices made Nicholas’s academy life far more comfortable than before. Perhaps the fact that his partner was Wendy played a large role. Any woman would be intimidated and discouraged by the sheer overwhelming beauty of Wendy Caldwell. Therefore, upon learning that Nicholas’s partner was Wendy, most women flinched and backed away. Just by Nicholas and Wendy being together, those around them misunderstood on their own and spread rumors. When friends asked Nicholas about Wendy, he followed her instructions and neither confirmed nor denied anything, returning ambiguous replies like “I’ll leave it to your imagination.” As the rumors eventually spread beyond the academy and into high society, Nicholas panicked inwardly, but Wendy seemed almost unconcerned.
“It really helps. I was getting bombarded with engagement talks, which was annoying, but they’ve decreased significantly.”
At Wendy’s words, Nicholas chuckled.
“The same goes for me. Though it’s troubling that my sister asks me all sorts of questions every time I return home… Doesn’t your family pry?”
At Nicholas’s question, Wendy made a bitter face.
“…I haven’t spoken to my brother, so I wouldn’t know.”
Nicholas tilted his head at her reaction.
“I’ve thought this for a while, but do you not get along with your brother?”
Nicholas had never spoken directly with Christopher, the current Count Caldwell and Wendy’s brother. However, he knew Christopher to be a very sincere and mild-mannered person. Yet, Wendy almost never mentioned her brother. He found that strange.
To Nicholas’s question, Wendy answered while grimacing.
“…We used to get along well, a long time ago… but a while back, various things happened… and I just got angry and started avoiding him, that’s all…”
“A fight?”
“…Yeah, well. Something like that, I suppose.”
It seemed there were complex circumstances. Wendy clearly disliked talking about it in detail. Sensing this, Nicholas simply offered words of comfort.
“I hope you can make up soon.”
At those words, Wendy kept her sour expression and looked away from Nicholas, muttering softly.
“I suppose so…”
Watching Wendy, Nicholas layered his words.
“If, after graduation, talk of marriage comes up for you… and this relationship becomes inconvenient for you, tell me anytime. I’ll do whatever I can…”
When Nicholas said this, Wendy shook her head.
“It’s fine. I told you before, I take responsibility for myself… Besides, marriage is impossible for me anyway.”
“Eh?”
When Nicholas raised his voice in surprise, Wendy’s expression froze as if she had been startled.
“Marriage is impossible… what do you mean?”
Nicholas asked, but Wendy stood up as if refusing to answer.
“I’ve talked too much. Forget it.”
Saying that, she quickly went somewhere else.
Left alone, Nicholas pondered the meaning of Wendy’s words. What did she mean by saying marriage was impossible even though she had someone she liked? Was there a reason on Wendy’s side, or the partner’s side, that prevented marriage?
“…Is the person she likes already married, or something?”
He spun various selfish theories in his head, but in the end, he couldn’t understand the meaning of Wendy’s words.
The seasons turned gently, and the long break was fast approaching. Nicholas was depressed about returning to his family home; it was becoming a source of headaches. He wanted to see Estelle, but during the break, he would absolutely be bombarded with questions about Wendy. Lately, even Brooks Armand, who was in the same grade and was Estelle’s fiancé, had been persistently asking about his relationship with Wendy, and he was fed up with it. Wendy also seemed to dislike returning home; she grimaced and let out a large sigh.
“…I don’t want to go back.”
“It can’t be helped, this much is unavoidable.”
At Nicholas’s words, Wendy held her head in irritation.
“Do you have any other plans during the break?”
When Nicholas asked, Wendy shrugged while saying,
“Nothing. Just working.”
“That sounds tough for a break.”
“Well, it’s something I enjoy… Ah.”
Wendy raised her voice as if remembering something. Bringing her face close to Nicholas’s ear, she continued whispering so others wouldn’t hear.
“Come to think of it, I’m starting a new children’s book series soon.”
“Eh, a new work?”
Since Wendy nodded, Nicholas’s face lit up. It was a new series since “The Sword of Elan.” Almost all works by “Renatoa Celward” received high praise, but the children’s books were especially popular not only with children but also with adults. Therefore, enthusiastic fans, including Nicholas, were eagerly awaiting a new work. At the long-awaited joyful news, Nicholas asked Wendy somewhat excitedly.
“What kind of story is it this time? An adventure like ‘Elan’?”
“No. Not like that, it’s a detective novel with a bit of a unique setting.”
Just hearing those words made Nicholas excited.
“A mystery! That’s rare. I’m really looking forward to it.”
“Yes. The release is still a ways off but… I’ll give you one copy as a present.”
“Eh!?”
Since it was the first time Wendy had said something like that, Nicholas was shocked and unintentionally raised his voice.
“You’re too loud.”
“Ah, sorry… W-What’s the occasion? A present, all of a sudden…”
Since he had naturally intended to buy it himself, Nicholas looked back at Wendy in confusion. Wendy crossed her arms and spoke in a slightly awkward voice.
“Um, actually…”
Just as Wendy started to say something, a friend from the same class called out.
“Nicholas, the teacher is calling you. He says to come to the faculty room.”
Told this, Nicholas turned around in a panic.
“Eh? Understood.”
Wondering at the sudden summons from the teacher, he turned back to Wendy.
“Sorry, I’ll be back.”
“Yes. See you later.”
Since Wendy nodded pleasantly, Nicholas bowed lightly and headed to the faculty room. In the faculty room, receiving news from home that Estelle had collapsed again, Nicholas hurriedly prepared to return to his family home. In the end, without having a chance to speak to Wendy after that, he entered the long break.
Estelle had always been somewhat frail. From childhood through her student days, she would invariably fall ill and become bedridden at the turn of the seasons. However, since graduating from the academy, her collapses had become more frequent. Every time Estelle fell ill, Nicholas returned home to check on her.
This time too, what awaited Nicholas upon returning to the Lambert house was Estelle lying in bed, having fallen ill. Estelle stopped Nicholas from trying to call a doctor.
“It’s just a cold and a bit of accumulated fatigue… It’s happened often since long ago, hasn’t it?”
Estelle gently but stubbornly refused to call a doctor. Nicholas grimaced and retorted.
“But it’s too frequent lately… You really should be examined once—”
“I’m fine! Geez, you worry too much, Nicholas. I know my own body well… If anything happens, I will definitely consult a doctor.”
Estelle smiled on the bed to reassure Nicholas. Watching his sister, Nicholas nodded reluctantly and exhaled deeply.
“Truly, if there is even the slightest change, I want you to consult someone immediately…”
“Yes, I know. More importantly, Nicholas.”
Suddenly, Estelle sat up in bed and leaned toward him.
“There is something I want to ask.”
Sensing what Estelle wanted to ask, Nicholas instinctively almost backed away.
“…What?”
“I heard about things at school. About the daughter of the Caldwell house.”
Just as he thought. Nicholas held his head and closed his eyes.
“I get asked about it often at parties too. Rumors are flying that an engagement is imminent and so on. Please tell me already.”
Nicholas forced a smile and replied.
“…No, we get along well, but… we aren’t engaged.”
Unusually, Estelle looked a little angry.
“That’s obvious. If you had gotten engaged on your own, I would be angry indeed. It involves issues between our families, after all.”
“Ah, right, of course…”
Estelle made a serious face and questioned Nicholas.
“Tell me the truth, Nicholas. Is the Caldwell daughter just a friend? Or a more intimate relationship?”
“Ah, no, um…”
“Is she your lover? Are you thinking about the future? Or, perhaps, is there someone else you like?”
At the words “lover” and “someone you like,” Nicholas’s body reacted on its own. To cover up the crawling discomfort, Nicholas stood up in a hurry.
“Sorry, Sister, let’s talk about that another time.”
“Ah, wait, Nicholas!”
Leaving his sister trying to stop him, Nicholas hurriedly left the room. He returned to his own room, entered, and collapsed onto the bed.
“…I’m tired.”
His whole body felt heavy. He had anticipated that his sister would pry, but being subjected to questions beyond his imagination left him with a strange sense of exhaustion. But more than that, the self-loathing made it painful enough to want to cry. He felt pathetic and his chest ached for continuing to hide things, lie, and patch things up to his beloved sister, Estelle.
“…I wonder if Wendy is having a hard time right now too.”
He muttered while recalling Wendy’s beautiful face. He didn’t know her circumstances well, but it was certain that for Wendy, just like for Nicholas, her family home was an uncomfortable place. Thinking she might be suffering made him worry.
No, more than that, let’s think about myself first. Nicholas closed his eyes and held his head. During the break, he had to keep successfully dodging Estelle’s prying. No, not just during the break. He had to think about his future as well.
Currently, thanks to Wendy’s cooperation, he wasn’t being approached, but eventually, when they graduated and the fake relationship with Wendy ended, engagement talks with a young lady from some noble family would surely be brought up. It would be impossible to refuse them forever. He could sense that even his indifferent father wouldn’t stay silent if Nicholas remained single. Imagining marrying someone made Nicholas shudder. He was convinced there was no way he could become a husband to anyone. Engagement, marriage—it was impossible. Loving someone was impossible. And being loved by someone was even more terrifying; the mere thought made everything go dark before his eyes.
If only there were someone who would understand his circumstances, marry him, and live as a sham couple. Yes, a mutually convenient alliance like with Wendy—
“…Ah.”
Nicholas suddenly thought of something and sat up.
Wendy had said she had someone she liked but marriage was impossible. In that case, couldn’t they continue their current relationship as woman-repellent and man-repellent even after graduation? Officially, in the form of marriage. It might be difficult, but it probably wasn’t impossible. Wendy was a Count’s daughter; her lineage and status were a match. Both Father and Estelle would likely accept it.
Above all, Nicholas was confident he could get along well with Wendy. As an extension of friendship, although it would be a sham marriage, surely they could walk together. His current relationship with Wendy was good, and she had accepted the role of woman-repellent knowing Nicholas’s circumstances. Of course, Wendy would have her own circumstances, but—
“Once school resumes, I’ll try proposing it.”
For that sake, he would manage to survive this break somehow.
With renewed determination, Nicholas slowly got out of bed.
Having dodged Estelle’s pursuit and managed to gloss over things through the long break, Nicholas finally returned to the academy.
Entering the classroom for lessons, Nicholas searched for Wendy first thing. He called out from behind to Wendy, who was sitting alone on a chair as usual.
“Hey, long time no see, Wendy.”
Reacting to his voice, Wendy turned around.
“Ah, long time no see.”
Seeing her face, Nicholas furrowed his brows.
What was it? He felt like something was different. No, Wendy’s beautiful face hadn’t changed. But he felt something had changed decisively.
“Wendy…”
Just as Nicholas was about to speak again, the teacher entered, so he hurriedly returned to his seat.
With the start of the new semester, there were many things to do, keeping him busy. Therefore, he couldn’t find time to talk alone with Wendy for a while.
He secretly watched Wendy from afar during class. Nicholas tilted his head. Indeed, Wendy’s behavior had been strange since the break ended. She usually had a sullen, emotionless expression, but now she seemed a little brighter. And she was somewhat restless and fidgety. The times she spent staring blankly into space, lost in thought, had increased. Most likely, others hadn’t noticed. It was a truly trivial change, but she was definitely different from before the break. Nicholas noticed only because he had spent so much time with her.
What on earth happened to Wendy during the long break?
Unable to find the right timing to broach the subject, a few days passed. Finally finding some time, he headed toward Wendy, who was eating alone in the student dining hall. After casting a soundproofing spell, he immediately spoke to Wendy.
“…Wendy, did something happen during the break?”
“…Why do you think that?”
“No, since the break ended, you seem somewhat… happy, or rather… I felt like you’ve become a little brighter.”
Wendy’s shoulder twitched. However, she eventually returned a curt reply as usual.
“…Not really. It has nothing to do with you, Colin.”
“I see.”
Nicholas gave up on probing deeper into her stubborn demeanor. After exchanging conversation for a while, he brought up the main topic.
“Would you like to get engaged to me?”
At those words, Wendy’s expression didn’t change. No, she looked a little angry. Wendy directed a cold gaze straight at Nicholas.
“You are the most popular man with women in this academy; surely there is a more suitable partner for you.”
She was angry, after all. Quite angry. She probably hadn’t expected Nicholas to suddenly bring up an engagement. Her gaze, cold as ice, said she absolutely hated the idea of engagement. Sensing that, Nicholas laughed troubledly.
“…You know my circumstances, right? Besides, it shouldn’t be a bad deal for you either.”
When he emphasized his circumstances, Wendy made a thoughtful expression for just a moment.
In the end, that day, the discussion was interrupted because Wendy’s personal servant brought a letter. Therefore, Wendy’s reply came several days later.
“…About the engagement.”
Sitting side-by-side on a small bench in the garden, Wendy brought it up immediately. Nicholas nodded lightly with a serious expression.
“Yeah.”
Wendy glanced at Nicholas with sharp eyes as usual.
“I thought about various things. Really.”
“Yeah.”
“…I don’t dislike you.”
It seemed she was avoiding the word “like” for Nicholas’s sake. Understanding that, Nicholas smiled.
“That is an honor.”
“You are a good person, Colin. With you, I think I could surely get along well.”
At those words, he felt a joy that surprised even himself.
“I think so too, Wendy. We could surely get along well as ‘marriage partners’… as a ‘married couple.’”
When Nicholas said that expecting a good answer, Wendy lowered her face for a moment. Immediately looking up, she said,
“I suppose so. That might be true. That would surely be a wise choice… and that path would surely be blessed by many people…”
Then, Wendy looked straight into Nicholas’s eyes. She moved her lips.
“I—even so, I will not choose that path. I will not marry you, Colin.”
Nicholas opened his eyes wide at that answer. Then, he smiled sadly.
“I see.”
A strong will was felt from Wendy’s eyes. Surely she had thought more carefully than Nicholas imagined and reached a conclusion.
“…Sorry. It was a selfish proposal.”
When Nicholas bowed his head, Wendy looked down.
“That’s right. Honestly, I was a little angry… at your shallow thinking. The current contract continues only because we are students without responsibilities. If it extends into a formal marriage, surely the seams will burst somewhere… I dislike socializing and am bad with people. I couldn’t possibly serve as your ‘wife.’ Above all, if we marry, an ‘heir’ will definitely be demanded. What did you intend to do about a successor? Had you not thought about anything?”
Hit where it hurt, Nicholas groaned involuntarily. She was right. Those around them would definitely demand children if they married. That was absolutely impossible. Nicholas was afraid to touch women, and it was obvious Wendy would refuse too. There was the option of adopting from somewhere, but the people around them would surely interfere in various ways.
Glancing at the silent Nicholas, Wendy let out a large sigh. Then, after thinking a little, she opened her mouth.
“However, if you had brought up that proposal before the break… I might have accepted it.”
“Eh.”
At those unexpected words, Nicholas inadvertently raised his voice.
“Colin, you are truly a good person, and the marriage you proposed was… although there were some worrying elements, convenient for me… But, it’s impossible now. I will not marry for the rest of my life.”
“That is… why?”
Wendy stood up from the bench and faced Nicholas directly.
“…They came back.”
“Eh?”
“They came back. My precious person.”
It seemed Wendy’s “person she was searching for” had returned during the break. Nicholas finally understood that this was why Wendy’s expression had been bright since the new semester.
“I will stay by that person’s side for my whole life, forever. I will never leave again. Even if denied by someone, even if not accepted, even if not understood, I don’t care… I’ve decided. I will stick to my feelings.”
Nicholas gasped seeing Wendy standing in front of him. Wendy was smiling. Looking genuinely happy. It was the first time he had seen Wendy with a full smile.
“They are my everything, my one and only. I love only that person… from the bottom of my heart!”
He opened his eyes wide at those overly straightforward words. Then Nicholas smiled back slowly.
“I see… It’s regrettable, but that can’t be helped.”
“Yes. But you know, Colin.”
Wendy suddenly touched both of Nicholas’s hands. Paying no mind to the surprised Nicholas, Wendy gently wrapped his hands in hers.
“You must move forward too. As an outsider, I shouldn’t interfere in your circumstances. I know that. Even so, let me say this. You should face your own heart, and your sister.”
“That is…”
“Please… You have suffered enough. I don’t want you to force yourself anymore.”
He understood what Wendy wanted to say. He had to think about repairing his emotional scars, talking to his sister, and facing things.
If this state continued forever, surely his heart wouldn’t be able to endure it. He knew that without being told.
But—
“…I can’t do that… no matter what.”
Estelle would surely be sad. She would blame herself and apologize to Nicholas over and over again. Just imagining that figure made his heart ache.
“I can’t do it… Wendy.”
At Nicholas’s pained words, Wendy bit her lip and softly lowered her face.
In the end, Nicholas had a weak heart.
He simply couldn’t muster the courage. He was terrified of facing his own heart.
But he had no time to be leisurely. Graduation was approaching rapidly. Nicholas had to think. About what he should do.
He knew Wendy was right. He couldn’t keep glossing it over like this. He should face his own heart and tell Estelle everything. But even admonished by Wendy, he simply couldn’t make up his mind. Just imagining Estelle’s sad face made his heart unable to bear it.
Seeing Nicholas suffering, unable to take a step forward, Wendy seemed to feel pain for him, but she didn’t say anything further.
Although Wendy seemed somewhat offended and angry at Nicholas’s stopgap engagement proposal, she agreed to continue the relationship as a woman-repellent.
In the garden during lunch break, while eating, Wendy mumbled,
“Well, until the graduation party, anyway. This current state is comfortable.”
When Nicholas thanked her from the bottom of his heart, saying,
“Thank you, really.”
Wendy nodded lightly.
Even at the graduation party, Wendy planned to attend as Nicholas’s partner.
“But I hate noisy places, so I’m going home after one dance.”
Nicholas nodded at Wendy’s curt words.
“Yeah, that’s enough. Thank you, Wendy.”
To such a Nicholas, Wendy held out a large package.
“Here, this. The promised item.”
“Eh? What?”
“Open it.”
Told so by Wendy, he slowly opened the package. Inside was a single book. Large letters and a drawing of a girl were depicted on the cover.
The Lying Girl’s Sealed Memories — by Renatoa Celward
Seeing that cover, Nicholas’s face lit up.
“Is this the new work!?”
“Yes. It’s before the release date, but special just for you.”
“Is it okay!? Thank you!”
At the joy of being able to read his favorite author’s book before the release date, Nicholas’s heart brightened for the first time in a while.
“But is it really okay for me to accept it?”
“Yes. But tests are coming up soon, so don’t get too absorbed in it.”
“Yeah!”
At that moment, since other students appeared, Nicholas hurriedly stuffed the book into his bag to hide it and called out to Wendy.
“Well then, see you!”
Flustered, he headed toward the dormitory. Wendy waved her hand silently.
Once exams ended, a short break was given to the students. Usually, Nicholas would return home to see Estelle, but this time he cancelled that. He was worried about Estelle, but more than that, being pried about Wendy was painful. He was tired of continuing to gloss over it. Since Brooks was apparently going to check on Estelle, it would be better to let them be alone since they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Besides, he wanted time to think alone.
Staying at a small inn in the Royal Capital near the academy, Nicholas spent his time quietly alone. While enjoying peaceful time going to the library or walking in the park, Nicholas thought about his future. Being lost in thought alone was just a little lonely, but a break like this wasn’t bad. Thinking that, in the bright sunlight, he opened the book gifted by Wendy at a nearby café.
“The Lying Girl’s Sealed Memories” was a detective novel. A girl who told nothing but lies, Siena, and a boy who had lost all his memories formed a duo to solve mysterious incidents. Although aimed at children, there was a huge plot twist at the end that turned the worldview upside down, and he enjoyed it greatly. This would become as popular as “The Sword of Elan,” no, perhaps even more so. Nicholas closed the book with conviction. Then, stroking the letters “Renatoa Celward” on the cover, he muttered.
“Come to think of it… why did Wendy give me this as a present…?”
I’ll ask her next time we meet.
Thinking that, Nicholas took a pen and began writing a letter to send to Wendy.
Hidden Settings
Nicholas Lambert
Son of Marquis Lambert. A young man with androgynous, refined beauty, resembling his sister Estelle very much. Basically a kind and sincere young man, but he has a habit of worrying endlessly and being unable to make decisions about things. Most popular with female students at the academy. He is bad with women, but has many male friends. His hobby is reading, and he is a huge fan of “Renatoa Celward.” He cherishes his sister Estelle above all else.
The past arc is finally over. The background of Colin, aka “the man getting in between the yuri,” has been revealed. Next time, we return to the present.