In no particular order:
William Oh once threw his axe so hard it vanished into the horizon.
Curious, some poor bastard followed the path of dead monsters left in its wake for three days and three nights, only for the weapon to bury itself in his back.
– Discord Tall Tales Channel (edited)
“William Oh was left without relics once, so he summoned his foes to bring him new ones.” (My suggestion for this part, preferably have the name be same as the one below but at a lesser level that could be achieved by a common climber between the two points in time.) (Below is a suggestion for the more current chapters.) “I saw William Oh be told some additional land needed to be flattened for his new farmers, as an apology for the inconvenience the land flattened itself.” - Kaiki Karasu, level 56 climber.
^original
William Oh once fought a battle of attrition so fierce that he was left entirely without Relics. When faced with the overwhelming might of his enemies, he took the only route to survival: He summoned even more enemies, seized their Relics in the chaos and turned them against their allies.
Jason Salazar^ My take. Added fluff and Changed attribution to Jason because it’s prophetic. I noticed the chapters where this actually happens were empty so this was very helpful.
William oh once made camp atop the stars, not for the novelty of it, but just to look down on Granesh.- I changed it to Jason Salazar, since it’s prophetic if posted before the chapter in question.
William Oh’s Resistance is so high it’s rolled over into the negatives; now he’s invincible AND intangible.
- original
William Oh’s Resistance is so high it’s rolled over into the negatives: If you hit him hard enough, you get hurt.
You sure that’s not just because he hits back?
- My take
15
William Oh once made such an outrageous bid at an auction, Baron Akul exploded in shock.
- Jonathan, level 18 Excavator
Dude. Too soon.
- Nearby bar patron
^ I edited this one to be more specific (only mention Akul) and elicit a response from the listener.
The little floaties in your eye are William Oh's ghost servants watching through you.
- An orphan outside the tower.Short, sweet, relatively unchanged.
William oh was wrong about something once. The tower and the cosmos convened and decided they liked his idea better.
^original
William oh was wrong about something once. The tower and the cosmos convened and decided they liked his version better. And thus balance was restored to the world.
- Harrison Vanderbyl, level 22 Bard
^ my take. Just a bit sillier.
Willam Oh once fought in a tournament. His opponents were honored to learn this fact the next day when they woke up in a hospital bed with retrograde amnesia.
- Skyla, Level 18 Priestess of Holdna
^Added the retrograde amnesia, and tweaked the phrasing to flow better in my head.
It is unclear which mountains were created by the tower and which were created by William Oh running by.
- Level 17 Spearchaser^Short and sweet, relatively unchanged.
A Xeju scholar once captured William Oh, and pinned him down… What’s that look for? No, no, she mounted him—as one would a bug! She wanted to unravel the mystery of the perfect specimen of humanity. Of course, William Oh only went along with this because he also wanted to know the secret behind his awesomeness.
- George Smith, level 15 Smith
Not where I thought you were going with that. I heard William Oh had sex with a Xeju, and then he ate its head.
- Blake Vinner, level 15 Lamplighter
- Submission from My editor
There was a Climber named Estrella Tomas, with a strange Mutator Class that could turn any animal or any person into a monster. More powerful subjects generally produced larger and more impressive monsters. A mouse might turn into a slime. An average Climber might turn into a somewhat pesky tentacle monster. Anyway, I heard she used her ability on William Oh, and you know what happened?
Nothing.
He stayed himself, because William Oh is already a monster.
- Casey Jones, Milkmaid.
- My editor
I heard that under the mask, William Oh is actually a woman. Who else could keep making the rest of you look like idiots? - Gisele Cordova, lvl 38 Honey Trap
- My editorThank you guys so much for your suggestions! This was a lot of fun! If you have more ideas for tall tales, the discord is here:https://discord.gg/vDztjZCB
I'm going to package this up over the next couple days and get it shipped off to Soundbooth.