So because I was away for a long time and still have nothing to post I will do a quick update and actual tiny drop for paid tiers.
Currently I work on paid comms. But it seems I make the same mistakes as years before and underestimate my real capabilities which leads me to death loops where I spend 5-10X more effort and time, but final output is equal or worse than the stuff I do just cause for free. After which I go into depression and demotivation where I can't even do something else. Obviously I was paid, so the work remains and you won't see me soon even in the best case scenario. It's not like I don't know how to solve it but when a mistake is already made it is extremely hard to pull out.
Still even with work debt I need to make some steps forward and this time I will drop some static renders of already made animation parts, loops, .blend files of the current project scenes already made for each of the paid tiers. Hope it will keep patrons fed till next drops and posts and benefit ideas. Until then I will be in deathloops and maybe will try to do a few fun free artworks in between to keep it active and fun again.
It's very complicated from a feelings perspective as logically there is no reason to do anything else and post anything when you are in debt, but I feel that the current way of work is a betrayal of all sides including commissioners, myself, patrons and regular viewers. Leads to hard choices and lack of desire to lock in on existing tasks or specific groups of people I can please (or myself). It all leads to the slowest possible performance, hate of artworks, hate of people, hate of myself. And I guess this hate is what should help me to make tiny steps again to start making big steps as before.