Hey everyone, just a little end of month update on what's been going on.
To get right to it, I've been dealing with a lot of personal and social issues lately that have made drawing very un-enjoyable for me. Drawing has always been a social activity to me, so exploring ideas and exchanging feedback with friends has always been a big part of what kept me going.
I don't have that anymore. For years I fought for the idea of drawing what I enjoyed over what people said was okay, but the art style and subject matter I enjoy has pushed many "friends" away.
Most of my current friends aren't artists and the ones that are don't like chatting much because of shyness, anxiety, or being intimidated because I have a high follower number. Because of that, most of the support and feedback I hear on my art doesn't happen until it's finished and posted.
I know I have a lot of support and that there are many many people that want the best for me. I don't deny that. I'm happy to see my work spread the way it has and the effect it's had on people. For me though, the act of drawing has become very lonely and that hasn't been fun for me.
Most of my interaction with artists lately has been on social media but that's also the place I feel the least safe when talking about my interests. I've been harassed and labeled terrible things because of my art. I know I should ignore them and I know it's not true, but that doesn't make the association with such terrible things and people any less hurtful.
I don't like burdening patrons with my issues and I know social media is one of the worst places to vent, so that leaves me with few options. I'm not close friends with artists doing similar content to what I do or that deal with similar problems as me, so I don't have a relatable support group to fall back on.
There's no fun or creativity doing everything sad and alone.
Given all this, I've decided to go on hiatus.
I don't know how long it will last, but as of writing this it's been almost two weeks since I last touched my tablet. I'm hoping I'll find my motivation and drive again soon, so I'll leave my Patreon up for the month of April with plans of posting anything I make here. If I can't find that spark by the end of April though, I'll be shutting down my Patreon and I'll be putting art behind me.
This isn't art block or me thinking my art isn't worth anyone's time, it's just not fun for me without friends to actively grow and collaborate with.
I appreciate everyone that's been with me up to this point and I hope I can continue what I've been doing far into the future. If not though, I hope you understand, I'm sorry.
Thank you, forever.