Hello everyone,
Many people have been asking why there are no chapters this week. Many people. Smart people. Some are saying it is the greatest delay in the history of delays. I don’t know if that’s true. I’m simply reporting what people are saying. They say, “Abel, where are the chapters?” and I say, “Folks, you ARE not going to believe what happened.”
As many of you know, there is an old Norse story about Odin, a very successful god, perhaps one of the most successful gods ever, who sacrificed an eye in exchange for wisdom. A terrible deal if you ask me. Very one sided. Frankly, I think he could have negotiated better.
Unfortunately, I recently found myself in a somewhat similar situation.
You see, my laptop, which contained my entire writing setup, suddenly decided to imitate Baldur but unlike him ascended directly into Valhalla. A beautiful place, I am told. Very exclusive. The finest laptops go there.
Now, there are some fake news reports circulating that all the drafts have been lost. TOTALLY FALSE. The drafts are safely stored in Google Docs. Very secure. Tremendous storage. Some of the best storage available anywhere.
The problem is that I can only access them through my phone. At first this sounded manageable. I then attempted to write on my phone for approximately twenty minutes.
After this experience, I understood why ancient civilizations viewed suffering as a necessary part of the human condition.
Many of you will know the tale of King Sisyphus, who was condemned by the gods to push a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. What fewer people know is that this punishment was only the runner up.
The original punishment involved writing and editing long documents on a smartphone keyboard. Even the gods considered it too cruel.
Sisyphus got the boulder. I got the phone. TRUST ME, he got the better deal.
Attempting to write a chapter on a phone feels very much like the labors of Hercules, except that instead of slaying monsters and capturing sacred beasts, I am fighting autocorrect and watching the keyboard change perfectly reasonable sentences into complete nonsense.
At one point I became convinced that a minor trickster god had taken up residence inside the device and was deriving nourishment directly from my frustration.
And so, after careful consideration, I have concluded that spending an entire week squinting at a tiny screen and repeatedly opening the emoji menu by accident is not a viable path forward.
Therefore, I am temporarily suspending operations while I acquire a new laptop. Normal chapter releases will return next week, assuming no further acts of technological rebellion occur.
Thank you for your attention in this matter.
ABEL TARGAEYEN!