Kurose Takeshi is not the kind of man who makes excuses.
No matter how uneven his breathing becomes,no matter how disheveled his shirt gets,no matter how far removed he looks from his usual self.
When it is over, the first thing he does is quietly fix his tie.
He picks up the papers scattered on the floor.He sets the fallen chair back in place.With large, slightly awkward hands, he returns the things on the desk to where they belong.
Not to pretend nothing happened.Not to cover anything up.
He simply cannot feel settled unless he does.
Kurose Takeshi does not deny the part of himself that fell apart.But he also cannot leave things in disarray.
Proud, sincere, and awkward.Even when he is shaken by emotions he cannot fully control,he still tries, in the end, to return to being “Kurose Takeshi.”
And watching him, you may find yourself thinking one quiet thought.
Maybe this man is simply bad at letting himself depend on someone.Maybe, more than anyone, he is someone who wants to be accepted exactly as he is.＊＊＊
黒瀬剛司は、言い訳をしない男だ。
どれだけ呼吸が乱れても、どれだけシャツが崩れても、どれだけ普段の自分から遠い顔を見せてしまっても。
終わったあと、彼はまず黙ってネクタイを直す。
床に落ちた書類を拾う。倒れた椅子を戻す。机の上に散らばったものを、少し不器用な手つきで元の場所へ戻していく。
何かを誤魔化すためではない。なかったことにするためでもない。
ただ、そうしないと落ち着かないのだと思う。
黒瀬剛司は、乱れた自分をなかったことにはしない。でも、乱れたまま放っておくこともできない。
強がりで、律儀で、不器用で。自分の感情に振り回されても、最後にはちゃんと“黒瀬剛司”に戻ろうとする。
そして、そんな彼を見ていると少しだけ思ってしまう。
この人はきっと、誰かに甘えるのが下手なだけで、本当は誰よりも、ちゃんと受け止めてほしい人なのかもしれない。