After it was over, Takuma remained silent for a while.
He was not angry.He was not trying to run away.He simply looked as if he could not yet put into wordswhat had changed inside him.
Takuma always tries to return to himself.
He fixes his glasses.He straightens his clothes.He steadies his breathing.He tries to wear the face of someone for whom nothing happened.
But this time, he cannot fully go back.
The self that tried to remain proper.The self that fell apart.He has realized that both of them are still him.
Sanada Takuma is a strong man.But what truly makes him hard to look away fromis not only his strength —it is the vulnerability that appears when his seriousness begins to shake.
***
終わったあと、拓真はしばらく黙っていた。
怒っているわけではない。投げ出したいわけでもない。ただ、自分の中で何が変わったのかを、まだ言葉にできないような顔をしていた。
拓真はいつも、元に戻ろうとする。
眼鏡を直す。服を整える。呼吸を整える。何もなかったような顔をしようとする。
でも今回は、完全には戻れない。
正しくあろうとした自分。乱れてしまった自分。そのどちらも、自分なのだと気づいてしまったから。
真田拓真は、強い男ではある。けれど本当に目が離せないのは、強さよりも、その真面目さが揺れた瞬間に見える弱さだと思う。