Hi~ ♡I have some things that i want to talk about~ Before you start worrying, please don’t! I’m okay, nothing is wrong! ^^ But i’d like to share some thoughts with you, if that’s ok…maybe you can help me think some of these things through!
This past month, i’ve been worrying over some things…and while it’s very possible that i’m overthinking, i wanted to take the time to share my thoughts with you Patrons in particular, as you have been so incredibly kind in supporting my content’s creation. I’m endlessly grateful, and i figured that rather than sitting with these thoughts all by myself, it might be more productive for me to share my feelings with you directly. Maybe you can tell me if i’m looking at this all wrong, or maybe we can find some solutions together~ ^^ Honestly, i’ve been trying to find the proper words to describe what i’ve been feeling for the last two weeks or so…! Sadly, i’m not always as eloquent as i would like to be in times like this, but i hope i am able to explain my thoughts properly.
Recently, i’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with myself, specifically surrounding my audio's production. The tldr is that i’ve been having the growing feeling that i’m moving too slowly in the production of my work.
I’ve often kept my head down these past several years, focusing happily on the work i create rather than looking too closely at the other creators around me, but after taking some time recently to do so, i’ve become increasingly aware that by many content-creation standards, i create audios extremely slowly. There are many creators out there who make audios on a bi-weekly or even weekly schedule, and i’ve been silently feeling increasingly embarrassed that i produce my content so slowly by comparison.
Right now, i feel like i’m working as fast as i (healthily) can in my audio creation, but even with that knowledge, i’ve been feeling increasingly worried that i am not moving at the pace that i feel you listeners are ultimately incredibly deserving of.
I am also trying my best to look at this with a level head though - i have to remind myself that many of the creators i am comparing myself to are full-time content creators that have hard-working teams behind them. Some employ writers, some employ artists, some employ managers, and many hire editors to edit their audios so that their content is produced in a far more consistent schedule…and to that end, i think it’s only natural that my one-person production line is probably extremely unrefined in comparison… ^^;
I want to dispel any worries and say that i absolutely LOVE the work that i’m making here. I love the fact that i get to make long-form audios so often, even though it’d be way more reasonable to make shorter audios. I love making audios that lean more into cinematic vibes so that i can play and experiment with things like sound effects and ambiance. I love that so many of you are constantly so patient with me when i take my time not only with writing and revising my scripts, but especially when i’m locked in the looong process of editing my audios after recording. I truly feel so genuinely happy doing this. And yet behind all of the genuine joy i feel making these audios, is recently a growing sense of guilt that i’m not moving fast enough, or worse, that i am not adequately compensating you Patrons for all of the overwhelming support you are giving towards my audio's production.
So i wanted to do two things about this, if that’s alright:One - i want to deeply apologize for my slow pace and for any irritation or disappointment my slow content-creation process has caused thus far. While i am always doing my best, i know my incredibly slow speed can be a little frustrating and/or disappointing for many, and i want you to know that i am deeply appreciative of your endless patience with me.
And two - and most importantly, i am now actively making plans to hopefully improve this.
I want to get better at this in any ways that i am able to. I genuinely think quite a bit of these feelings are also stemming from the fact that there are genuinely SO MANY stories and audios i want to make. But because it takes me so long to edit one audio, i have to carefully choose which ideas to pursue, and i’m constantly finding myself time-locked into only creating one audio every several weeks...basically, i feel i am starting to bump up against the ceiling of my own abilities.
That said, i really don’t enjoy wallowing in my inadequacies for too long…rather than spending too much time feeling blue over this, i simply want to get better than i am now. Don’t worry, i’m not going to do anything that would push myself to work past my breaking point - then i wouldn’t be able to make anything! That’d be way worse! ^^ But i am planning on making some concrete steps to try and improve.
This past month i’ve reached out to a professional sound designer for advice - some consultations have been planned for me to hopefully receive some instruction on how to improve my audio production speed. Right now, it looks like i might be picking up some more professional audio-editing tools and i might be switching to a different audio editing program entirely, but i plan to learn these new skills gradually over the next few months in a way that will not impede my current audio production. You’ll still get audios as normal while i learn these new skills. Hopefully, if everything goes as i am planning, i will gain the skills needed to (ideally) slice my editing time in half. Because i am entirely self-taught in everything surrounding audio production up to this point, it is VERY likely that there are more efficient ways of audio production/editing that i just don’t even know exist yet! And if they do, i’m determined to find them! >v< There’s probably lots of ways to work smarter, not harder… i just need to find out how to use them!
So these are my current worries - and my current solution. I’m really hoping at least some of this was coherent…and if not, i hope at the very least a few of my thoughts made sense…? ^^;
Honestly, above all else, i want to make sure i say thank you again…every single day recently, i’ve been feeling so incredibly grateful and honored that so many of you have decided that my audios are something worth supporting, and i desperately want to make sure that in return, i am bringing you the highest-quality content i can possibly make with the frequency you are deserving of. I really hope i can find a way to do that - at the very least, i’m going to try my absolute best! ^^
In any case, thank you so much for reading through these disorganized rambles~ I promise the next time you hear from me, i’ll have more fun and silly things to talk about! ^^
As always, thank you so much for always being so incredibly patient with my process - I’m going to do everything that i can to grow into the creator you’re deserving of~
-Luna ♡