Hey all! Here's the second page for this month.
As some of you might have noticed on my Bluesky, I'm going through a difficult time as I lost my first dog, aged 16, just before NordicFuzzCon. She was there my whole adult life, through ups and downs, and she more than ones calmed me down when I was having a panic attack. Upon her passing, the attacks increased exponentially from one attack in two years to several in just a couple of days. I was unable to go to work and almost cancelled NFC, but decided to go after all to get out of the house and focus on something positive.
I masked my grief a lot at NFC, but also managed to genuinely enjoy the company of my friends, and I both laughed and cried from happiness. After the con, I've been able to breathe a bit more, and the panic attacks have calmed down. I luckily have my two boys, so the house isn't dogless and empty, even though it's a lot quieter. I still burst into tears about everything that reminds me of her, like not feeling her against my feet when I draw (her favourite place was under my desk), and thus this page, despite being so simple, was an incredible struggle to put together.I switched the furniture around in my office so I wouldn't keep looking for her in her usual spot, and the boys have started to sleep here; earlier my angry old lady wouldn't let them in. Things at home are finding a new, different kind of balance. I will miss her forever, but I know she continues to watch over me in one way or the other. I'm so thankful I got to share so many years with her, and that she taught me so much about love, responsibility, perseverance and little joys of life. I most likely wouldn't be here without her. She was a rescue dog, but in reality, she saved me. I'm in a good place now, because she got her job done and made sure things were going to stay that way.
I'm heartbroken and have never experienced grief that cuts this deep, but I'll be ok.
As a tribute to her: if you have the possibility, please consider adopting a dog in need of a home - especially the black and unwanted ones. They might turn your whole life around in the most positive and wonderful way <3