Saturday morning, Jake woke up to rain again. He lay in bed and listened to the drops hit the window. Greg had left a note on the kitchen counter: Gone to parents' house for the weekend. Back Sunday night.
Jake made coffee and sat on the couch. He had no rehearsal today. Howard gave the cast weekends off until dress rehearsals started.
His phone buzzed. Andy. Still busy with rehearsal today?
Jake thought about lying. Then he typed, No rehearsal today. Just tired. Andy: Want to grab lunch? Nothing fancy. There is a diner near campus. Jake stared at the screen. Nicole's voice echoed in his head. Christine dates men. He typed back before he could change his mind. Okay. What time?
One pm. I will send the address. Jake put the phone down. He walked to his closet. The clothes Nicole lent him hung on one side. He picked a pair of dark jeans and a cream-colored sweater. Flat shoes.
He looked in the mirror. His short hair gave him away up close. But from across a table, maybe not. He put on a small amount of makeup. Concealer under his eyes. A touch of mascara. Nicole had shown him how.
At twelve thirty, he left the apartment. The rain had stopped. The sky stayed gray. The diner sat two blocks from campus. Red booths and a long counter. Andy waited by the door. He wore a blue jacket and jeans. His hair looked freshly cut.
Hey, Andy said. Hey. They sat in a booth near the window. A waitress brought menus. You look nice, Andy said. Thanks. You too.
They ordered burgers and fries. Andy asked about her classes. Jake used his girl voice. Soft, not too high. Theater sounds intense, Andy said. It is. Lots of rehearsals. What show are you doing? Phantom of the Opera. Andy's eyes lit up. I love that show. Which part are you playing?
Jake paused. Christine. No kidding. That is a big role. It is. Andy smiled. You must be really talented. Jake looked down at his plate. I try. They ate. Andy talked about his engineering classes. Jake nodded and asked questions. The conversation felt easy. After lunch, Andy walked Jake to the corner. I had a nice time, Andy said. Me too.
Andy hesitated. Can I see you again? Jake thought about Greg. He thought about Howard. He thought about the show.
Maybe, Jake said. Let me check my rehearsal schedule. Andy smiled. Okay. Text me. Jake walked home. His heart beat faster than normal. He did not know why. Sunday, Jake practiced alone. He put on the heels and walked around the apartment. He sang Think of Me into his phone. His voice stayed steady.
Greg came home at eight. He looked tired. How were your parents? Jake asked. Fine. My mom asked about you.
What did you tell her? That you are playing, Christine. She thought that was interesting.
Jake sat on the couch. Did you tell her about the kissing? Greg sat next to him. No. She does not need to know that. They watched TV for an hour. Greg fell asleep on the couch. Jake covered him with a blanket.
Monday morning, Jake walked to rehearsal in ripped jeans and a different sweater. Nicole waved at him from the piano. How was your weekend? Nicole asked.
Fine. You seem different. Jake shrugged. Just practiced a lot. Howard called the cast to the stage. Act two run-through.
The scene where Christine visits her father's grave went well. Jake sang Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again without a crack. Howard nodded. Then the final scene. Christine kisses the Phantom. Nate stood in the center of the stage.
Jake walked to him. I love you, Phantom. She kissed him. Nate's lips pressed back this time. Harder than before. Jake pulled away. Good, Howard said. Nate, less aggression. Christine shows pity, not passion.
Nate nodded. They ran the scene three more times. By the third, Nate's kiss felt softer. Jake could do it without thinking. After rehearsal, Greg waited by the exit. Can we walk together? Greg asked. Sure.
They walked in silence for a block. Then Greg spoke. I talked to my mom about you. You said that. I told her more. About how hard this is for me.
Jake stopped. What did she say?
Greg stopped too. She said I should treat you like an actor, not a roommate. That on stage, you are Christine. Off stage, you are Jake. That sounds right. I know. But it is hard to separate. They started walking again. The sun came out from behind the clouds. Maybe we can practice, Jake said. At the apartment. Run scenes together.
Greg looked at him. Like at home? Yeah. Just us. No Howard watching. Greg thought about it. Okay. Tonight?
Tonight. They walked home. Jake felt something shift between them. He did not know what to call it. He decided not to name it. Monday night, Greg knocked on Jake's bedroom door at eight o'clock. Are you ready? Greg asked. Yeah. Give me a second.
Jake put on the brown wig and a pair of leggings. He kept his own t-shirt. Good enough for practice. He opened the door. Greg stood in the hallway with a script.
Where should we do this? Greg asked. Living room. Move the coffee table. They pushed the coffee table against the wall. The rug became their stage.
Which scene? Greg asked. The rooftop. That is the hardest one. Greg nodded. He opened his script. Jake already knew his lines. Jake stood near the window. Greg stood across the room. Start when Raoul enters, Jake said. Greg walked toward him. Christine, I have looked for you everywhere. Jake turned away. You should not be here. He could be watching.
Let him watch. I am not afraid of the Phantom. Greg stepped closer. Jake could see his face in the window reflection. Raoul, please. You do not understand.
Then explain it to me. Jake turned around. He has been teaching me. My voice. My music. The Angel of Music is real. Greg reached for her hand. Christine, that is not an angel. That is a man. A dangerous man.
They ran the lines. Greg's voice stayed soft. Jake matched him. When they got to the kiss, Greg stopped. We do not have to do that part, Greg said. We should. For practice. Greg stepped closer. He put his hand on Jake's cheek. Jake closed his eyes. Greg's lips touched Jake's. Light. Quick. Greg pulled back.
Again? Greg asked. Again. They kissed again. Longer this time. Greg's hand moved to Jake's waist.
Jake opened his eyes. Greg's face was close. His eyes looked different. Softer. That was better, Jake said. Yeah. They stepped apart. Greg picked up his script. One more time? Greg asked. No. Let us stop there. Greg sat on the couch. Jake sat next to him.
Do you think Howard will be happy with us? Greg asked. He said we need more passion. We are getting there. Greg looked at Jake. Are we? Jake did not answer. They sat in silence. Then Greg reached over and took Jake's hand. Not for a scene. Just because. Greg? Yeah. What are you doing?
Greg looked at their hands. I do not know. He let go. He stood up and walked to the kitchen. Jake stayed on the couch. His heart beat fast. Greg came back with two bottles of water. He handed one to Jake. Sorry, Greg said. For what?
For being weird. You are not weird. This whole thing is weird. Greg laughed. A real laugh. Jake had not heard that sound in weeks.
I am going to bed, Greg said. Early class tomorrow. Okay. Greg walked to his room. He stopped at the door. Goodnight, Jake. Goodnight.
Tuesday's rehearsal focused on the title song. The Phantom of the Opera is a duet between Christine and the Phantom. Nate stood behind Jake. The stage had fog machines.
Jake, climb onto the platform, Howard said. Jake climbed three steps up. Nate stood below him. Sing to each other, Howard said. Nate started. His voice boomed across the theater.
Jake answered. His voice floated above Nate's. Now Nate, lift her down.
Nate reached up. Jake leaned forward. Nate grabbed her waist and lowered her to the ground. Their faces were inches apart.
Good, Howard said. Now walk across the stage together. Nate, keep your hand on her back. They walked. Nate's hand pressed into Jake's spine. Hold, Howard said. Jake, you look scared. Christine is fascinated and frightened.
Jake changed his expression. Wide eyes. Slightly open mouth. Better.
They ran the song three times. By the third, Jake's voice felt tired. But Howard smiled. After rehearsal, Jessica approached Jake. You are improving, Jessica said.
Thanks. I still think the role should be mine. But you are not terrible. Jake did not know how to respond. He said nothing. Jessica walked away. Nicole came over. Did Jessica just compliment you?
Sort of progress. Jake changed out of the wig and clothes. Gail packed everything away. At home, Greg sat at the kitchen table. He had textbooks spread out. How was rehearsal? Greg asked. Fine. Jessica said I am not terrible.
Greg looked up. High praise from her. Yeah. Jake made a sandwich. He ate standing at the counter. Greg, about last night... Do not worry about it. But...
Jake. Do not worry about it. Jake stopped talking. He finished his sandwich and went to his room. His phone buzzed. Andy. How was rehearsal? Long. Tiring.
Want to get coffee tomorrow after your classes? Jake thought about Greg. He thought about the kiss on the couch. Where? The place on Belmont. Three pm? See you there. Jake put the phone down. He felt guilty. He did not know why.
Thursday morning, Jake woke up before his alarm. He lay in bed and listened to Greg move around the kitchen. The coffee maker beeped. Cupboard doors opened and closed. Jake got up and put on sweatpants. He walked to the kitchen. Greg stood at the counter with a mug.
Morning, Greg said. Morning.
Greg poured a second mug and pushed it toward Jake. Jake took it. Thanks. They drank in silence. Greg looked at his phone. Jake looked at the window. Greg, about last night...
I should not have said those things. No. You were right. Greg looked up. What? Andy does not know who I am. I have been lying to him. Not directly. But still.
Greg put his mug down. So what are you going to do? Jake wrapped his hands around the warm mug. I am going to tell him. Today.
At coffee? No. On the phone. He does not deserve to hear it in person. Greg nodded. Okay. That is all you have to say? Greg shrugged. You asked me to trust you. I am trying. Jake finished his coffee. He went to his room and closed the door. He picked up his phone.
Andy answered on the second ring. Hey, Andy said. This is early for you. I need to tell you something. Andy paused. Okay. What is it? Jake took a breath. I am not a girl. Silence. Andy?
I heard you. What do you mean? I mean I am a guy. My name is Jake. I am an actor. I play Christine in Phantom. That is why I wear makeup and dress the way I do. It is for the role. More silence.
Andy, I am sorry. I should have told you at Bernie's. I did not know how. Andy's voice came back low. So the whole time we talked. The coffee. The lunch. That was all fake?
No. I liked talking to you. I liked spending time with you. But I lied about who I am. You lied about everything. Jake closed his eyes. I know. Andy let out a breath. I need to go. Andy...
The line went dead. Jake put the phone on his bed. He sat there for a long time. A knock on his door. Greg. You okay? No, Greg opened the door. He stood in the frame. He hung up.
Greg nodded. You did the right thing. It does not feel right. It never does. Greg left. Jake heard him walk back to the kitchen. Jake looked at his phone. No new messages. He put on his clothes for rehearsal. Black leggings. A long sweater. Flat shoes.
He walked to campus. The sky had cleared. The sun felt cold on his face. At the theater building, Nicole waited by the entrance. You look terrible, Nicole said. Thanks.
What happened? Jake told her about the phone call. Nicole's face fell. Jake, I am sorry. I pushed you into that. You did not push me. I made my own choices. Nicole touched his arm. If you need to talk, I am here. I know.
Rehearsal that afternoon focused on the final scene. Christine kisses the Phantom. Then Raoul appears. Christine chooses Raoul. Nate stood in the center of the stage. Jake walked toward him. I love you, Phantom, Jake said. She kissed him. Nate held the kiss. Jake pulled back.
Hold, Howard said. Nate, your hands. Put them on her waist. Nate moved his hands. They ran the scene again. After the kiss, Greg entered from stage left. Christine, Greg said. Jake turned. Raoul.
She ran to Greg. He caught her in his arms. Hold that pose, Howard said. Jake pressed his face into Greg's chest. Greg's arms wrapped around her shoulders.
Good, Howard said. Take five. Greg let go. Jake stepped back. You okay? Greg asked. Yeah. You seemed distracted. I am fine. Greg looked at her for a moment. Then he walked away.
After rehearsal, Howard pulled Jake aside. Your performance today was flat, Howard said. I know. I am sorry.
Do not apologize. Fix it. We have two weeks until dress rehearsals. Jake nodded. Howard walked away. Jake went to the costume basement. Gail helped him change. Rough day? Gail asked. Rough week.
Gail hung the clothes on a rack. Twenty years ago, Tony had rough weeks. He quit. I am not quitting. Gail looked at him. Good. Jake walked home alone. Greg had stayed behind to talk to Howard. The apartment felt empty. Jake made a sandwich. He ate standing at the counter.
His phone buzzed. Andy. I am not angry. I am confused. Jake typed back. That is fair. Andy: Why did you not tell me sooner?
Jake: Because I liked how you looked at me. Like I was someone special. Andy: You are someone special. Just not who I thought. Jake stared at the screen. He did not know what to say. Andy: I need time. Do not text me for a while.
Jake: Okay. He put the phone down. Greg came home an hour later. He found Jake on the couch. Howard gave me notes, Greg said. What kind?
He said I need to look at you like I mean it. Like I really love Christine. Jake looked up. Can you? Greg sat on the couch. I do not know. Can you look at me like you love Raoul? Jake thought about the question. He thought about the past few weeks. The rehearsals. The couch kisses. The way Greg's hand felt on his back. Yes, Jake said. I think I can.
Greg looked at him. His eyes held steady. Then let us try, Greg said. They stood up. They moved the coffee table. They faced each other. No script, Greg said.
Okay. Greg stepped closer. He put his hand on Jake's cheek. I love you, Christine, Greg said. Jake looked into Greg's eyes. He did not see his roommate. He saw Raoul. I love you too, Jake said.
Greg leaned in. He kissed Jake. Not a stage kiss. A real one. Jake kissed him back. They pulled apart. That was different, Greg said. Yeah. What do we do now? Jake did not have an answer.
Jake and Greg stood in the living room. The coffee table sat against the wall. The rug had shifted under their feet. Greg stepped back first. He ran a hand through his hair. We should not have done that, Greg said.
Probably not. Then why did we? Jake sat on the couch. I do not know. Greg sat next to him. Not close. A foot of space between them. That kiss on stage, Greg said. The one Howard keeps making us do. It felt like nothing. Just lips pressing together. And this one?
Greg looked at the floor. This one felt like something. Jake nodded. Yeah.
They sat in silence. The apartment's heater clicked on. Warm air blew through the vent. Greg, I need to ask you something. Okay. Do you like me? Not as a scene partner. As a person. Greg took a breath. I do not know what I feel anymore. You are my roommate. You are a guy. But when you wear that wig and those clothes, you look like someone else.
I am still me. I know. That is what confuses me. Jake pulled his knees up to his chest. Maybe we should stop practicing at home. Maybe.
But we have the show. Two weeks until dress rehearsals. Greg turned to look at him. So what do we do? Jake thought about it. We act. On stage, we are Raoul and Christine. Off stage, we are roommates. Nothing more.
Can you do that? I have to. Greg nodded. Okay. New rule. No more couch rehearsals. No more kissing off stage.
Agreed. They shook hands. Greg's grip felt final. Jake went to his room. He closed the door. He leaned against it and slid down to the floor.
His phone buzzed. Nicole. How are you holding up? Fine. Just tired. Want to get dinner tomorrow? Just us. Sure. He put the phone down. He changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt. He got into bed. Sleep came slowly.
Friday morning, Jake woke up with a plan. He would focus on the show. Nothing else. No, Andy. No confusing moments with Greg. Just work.
He put on the black leggings and a cream sweater. Flat shoes. He looked in the mirror. His short hair looked strange with the outfit. He decided not to care. At rehearsal, Howard ran the entire show from start to finish. First full run with costumes and props.
Jake wore the brown wig and the blue skirt outfit. Gail had added a petticoat underneath. The skirt felt heavy. The orchestra played. Jake sang Think of Me. Her voice carried through the theater. Howard nodded from his seat.
The show moved forward. Scene by scene. Song by song. When the rooftop scene came, Greg took Jake's hand. His touch felt professional. No extra pressure.
They kissed. Stage kiss. Three seconds. Pull apart. Howard did not stop them. The final scene. Christine kisses the Phantom. Nate held Jake's waist. She kissed him. Greg entered. Christine ran to Raoul. The show ended. Curtain call. Howard stood up.
Good work. Everyone take fifteen. Then we run act one again. Jake walked off stage. Nicole waited in the wings. You sounded great, Nicole said. Thanks.
Did something change with Greg? You two looked better. Jake shrugged. We decided to keep things professional. Nicole raised an eyebrow. Professional? On stage, we are characters. Off stage, we are roommates. That is all. Okay. If that works for you. Act one ran again. Jake hit every note. Greg's acting felt real. The cast moved around them like a machine.
At the end of rehearsal, Howard pulled Jake and Greg aside. Much improved, Howard said. Keep that energy for the dress rehearsals.
Yes, sir, they said together. Howard walked away. Greg looked at Jake. See you at home? Yeah. They walked back together. The sun had started to set. The street looked orange.
Jake, about last night... Do not. New rule, remember? Greg nodded. Right. Sorry. They walked the rest of the way in silence. At the apartment, Greg went to his room. Jake made dinner. He ate alone. His phone buzzed. A text from an unknown number.
Hey Jake, this is Tina from costumes. Gail said you need a new wig fitting tomorrow at nine am. Come to the basement. Jake replied: Okay. He washed his dishes. He brushed his teeth. He went to bed.
Saturday morning, Jake walked to the theater building. The basement felt colder than usual. Gail waited with a box. Your real wig arrived, Gail said. Sit down. Jake sat. Gail opened the box. Inside lay a long brown wig with soft curls. Much nicer than the practice one.
Gail pinned Jake's hair flat. She placed the wig on his head. She adjusted the lace front. She pinned it in place. Look, Gail said. She handed him a mirror. Jake looked. The wig looked like real hair. The color matched his skin tone. The curls fell past his shoulders.
This is good, Jake said. It should be. Cost two hundred dollars. Gail showed him how to care for the wig. How to brush it. How to store it. Wear it to dress rehearsals next week, Gail said. Not before. Jake agreed. He walked home with the wig in a box. The weekend passed slowly. Jake practiced alone. He ran lines. He sang scales. He did not talk to Greg unless necessary. Monday morning, dress rehearsal week began.