Monday morning, Jake arrived at the theater building at eight o'clock. Dress rehearsal week meant long days. Howard scheduled twelve hours of work. Gail waited in the costume basement. She had laid out Christine's first outfit on a rack. A white dress with lace trim. A petticoat underneath. A corset on the side.
"Put this on," Gail said. "I will help with the corset."
Jake stripped to his boxers. He put on the bra and panties Gail handed him. The bra had foam inserts. He pulled the petticoat over his head. The white dress went on next. Gail zipped the back.
"Corset time."
Jake held onto a chair. Gail wrapped the corset around his waist. She pulled the laces tight. Jake breathed shallow.
"Not too tight," Jake said.
"You need the shape. Hold still."
Gail tied the laces. Jake looked in the mirror. His waist looked smaller. His hips looked wider.
Gail placed the new wig on his head. She pinned it in place. She added a small tiara.
"Christine," Gail said.
Jake walked to the main stage. The cast gathered in costume for the first time. Nate wore the Phantom's mask and a black suit. Greg wore a naval officer uniform. Jessica wore a large gold dress for Carlotta. Howard stood in the audience with a clipboard.
"Places for Act One," Howard said.
The orchestra started. The chandelier rose. Jake stood in the wings. His heart pounded. The corset made breathing hard. He took small breaths. Samantha called for his cue. Jake walked on stage. The lights felt hot. The audience seats were empty except for Howard and the producers. But Jake felt watched.
She sang "Think of Me." Her voice came out clear. The orchestra played behind her. She moved across the stage like Gail taught her. Hands together. Chin down. The song ended. Howard nodded.
Act One continued. Scene changes happened fast. Jake ran off stage. Gail helped her change into the next costume. A blue dress for the rooftop scene.
"Fast," Gail said. "Faster."
Jake pulled the dress over her head. Gail zipped. Jake ran back to the stage. Greg waited by the prop balcony. His eyes looked tired.
"You okay?" Greg asked.
"Corset is tight."
"Breathe."
The scene started. Jake sang "All I Ask of You" with Greg. Their voices blended. Greg held her hand. The kiss came. Jake closed her eyes. Greg's lips touched hers. Three seconds. Pull back. Howard called out, "Hold the kiss longer next time. Five seconds." They ran the scene again. This time, Greg held the kiss for five seconds. Jake counted in her head. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
"Better," Howard said.
Act One ended at noon. Howard gave notes.
"Jake, your entrance in the second scene was late. Watch your cues."
"Yes, sir."
"Greg, good work. Nate, your mask slipped during the graveyard scene. Fix the strap."
The cast ate lunch in the green room. Jake sat next to Nicole. She had a sandwich and an apple.
"How do you feel?" Nicole asked.
"Tired. The corset hurts."
"You will get used to it."
Jessica walked past. She looked at Jake's costume. "The dress suits you," she said. Then she kept walking.
Jake blinked. "Did she just compliment me?"
"I think so," Nicole said.
After lunch, Act Two started. Jake changed into a purple dress for the Masquerade scene. The skirt had layers of fabric. Heavy. The cast danced. Jake's feet hurt from the heels. She kept dancing. The final scene came. Christine kisses the Phantom. Nate held her waist. She kissed him. His mask felt rough against her cheek.
Greg entered. "Christine." Jake ran to him. Greg caught her. "Hold," Howard said. "Now lights."
The lights changed. The scene ended. The cast took their bows. Howard stood up.
"Good first dress. Tomorrow, we fix the mistakes. Go home. Rest."
Jake walked to the costume basement. Gail helped her out of the corset. The air rushed into her lungs.
"I hate that thing," Jake said.
"Everyone hates corsets. That is normal."
Jake changed into his own clothes. He packed the wig in its box. He walked home. Greg caught up with him on the sidewalk.
"You looked good up there," Greg said. "Thanks. So did you." "My uniform is scratchy."
"Try a corset." Greg laughed. Jake smiled. They reached the apartment. Greg opened the door.
"Dinner?" Greg asked.
"I am too tired to cook."
"I will order pizza."
They sat on the couch. The pizza arrived thirty minutes later. They ate in silence. The TV played a baseball game.
"Greg, can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Are we okay? After everything?"
Greg chewed his pizza. He swallowed. "Yeah. We are okay."
"Good."
They finished eating. Greg went to his room. Jake went to his. He lay in bed. His body felt sore. His feet ached. His ribs hurt from the corset. But he felt good. The dress rehearsal worked. Howard did not yell. Tomorrow, he would do it again.
Tuesday morning, Jake woke up with sore muscles. His ribs ached from the corset. His calves hurt from the heels. He stretched on his bed before getting up. Greg already left for an early class. A note on the kitchen counter said: See you at rehearsal."
Jake made coffee. He ate a banana. He looked at his phone. No messages from Andy. He put the phone down. At nine o'clock, he walked to the theater building. The sky looked gray. Rain threatened.
Gail waited in the costume basement. She held the white dress from yesterday.
"Same outfit for Act One," Gail said. "But we adjusted the corset. Looser."
Jake changed into the bra and panties. The foam inserts felt familiar now. He stepped into the petticoat. Gail helped with the dress and corset. The looser corset made breathing easier. Jake took a deep breath.
"Better," Jake said.
"Told you."
Gail placed the wig. She added the tiara. Jake looked in the mirror. The girl staring back looked more confident than yesterday. Howard called places at ten o'clock. Act One started. The orchestra played. Jake sang "Think of Me." Her voice filled the theater. No cracks. The scenes moved faster today. Jake knew her cues. She entered on time. She hit her marks.
The rooftop scene came. Greg stood by the balcony. His naval uniform looked crisp. "Christine," Greg said.
Jake walked to him. She took his hand. They sang. Their voices matched. The kiss came. Greg leaned in. Five seconds. Jake counted.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Howard did not stop them.
The act ended. Howard stood up.
"Better. Much better. Jake, your entrance in the third scene still needs work. You were half a step late."
"Sorry."
"Do not apologize. Fix it."
Lunch break. Jake ate a turkey sandwich in the green room. Nicole sat across from her. "You look less stressed today," Nicole said.
"The corset is looser."
"That helps. How are things with Greg?"
Jake shrugged. "Professional. Like we agreed."
"Good."
After lunch, Act Two started. Jake changed into the purple Masquerade dress. The heavy skirt pulled at her waist. The dance number came. Jeff called out steps. The cast moved together. Jake's feet kept up.
The final scene. Christine kisses the Phantom. Nate held her waist. She kissed him. His lips felt warm.
Greg entered. "Christine." Jake ran. Greg caught her. His arms felt strong.
"Lights," Howard called.
The scene ended.
Howard gave notes to the cast. "Nate, your final line needs more emotion. Jake, good work. Greg, hold her tighter in the embrace."
They ran the final scene again. Greg held Jake tighter. His fingers pressed into her back.
"Better," Howard said.
Rehearsal ended at eight o'clock. Jake walked to the costume basement. Gail helped her change.
"You are getting faster," Gail said.
"Practice."
Jake walked home in the dark. The rain held off. Greg walked beside her.
"Howard said you did good today," Greg said.
"He said you need to hold me tighter."
"I held you tighter."
"Not tight enough for him."
Greg shook his head. "That guy notices everything." They reached the apartment. Greg unlocked the door. "Want to run lines before bed?" Greg asked. Jake hesitated. "New rule. No rehearsals at home."
"Right. Forgot."
They went to their rooms. Jake lay on his bed. His body felt tired. His mind felt calm. His phone buzzed. A text from an unknown number. Hey Jake, this is Mark Nelson. I produce shows for Royal Caribbean. Howard gave me your number. I saw your audition tape. Impressive. Call me tomorrow.
Jake stared at the screen. Royal Caribbean. Cruise ships. A producer. He saved the number. He put the phone down. He did not sleep well. Wednesday morning, Jake called the number.
"Mark Nelson."
"Hi, this is Jake Miller. Howard gave me your number."
"Jake, yes. Thanks for calling. I saw your tape. You have a unique quality."
"Thank you."
"I produce shows on cruise ships. We need a Christine for our production of Phantom. Six-month contract. Sails to the Caribbean and South America." Jake's heart beat faster. "When would it start?"
"January. After your semester ends. You would need to live as Christine full time. On and off stage. The whole contract."
"Full time?"
"The audience expects consistency. We would provide housing, wardrobe, everything. You would not need to present as male at all during the contract."
Jake sat on his bed. "Can I think about it?"
"Take a week. Call me back."
Jake hung up. He sat there for a long time. At rehearsal, he could not focus. Howard stopped him twice.
"Jake, your mind is somewhere else," Howard said.
"Sorry. Long night."
"Focus."
Jake tried. Her voice worked. Her movements worked. But her head stayed somewhere else. After rehearsal, Greg caught up with her.
"What is going on with you?"
"Nothing."
"You are lying."
Jake told him about the phone call. Greg listened. His face stayed neutral. "Six months as a girl," Greg said. "Full time."
"Yes."
"Would you do it?"
Jake looked at the ground. "I do not know." Greg nodded. He did not say anything else. They walked home in silence. Thursday morning, Jake woke up with the cruise ship offer stuck in his head. He made coffee. He sat on the couch. Greg came out of his room wearing a jacket.
"You look like you did not sleep," Greg said.
"I slept. Just thinking."
"About the cruise?"
"Yeah."
Greg sat on the other end of the couch. "What is there to think about? It is a job. A good one."
"It is six months as a girl. Full time. No breaks."
Greg looked at his hands. "You have been doing that already. Just not full time."
"It is different."
"How?"
Jake thought about it. "Because right now, I can take the wig off. I can wear jeans and a t-shirt. I can be Jake. On the ship, I would always be Christine." Greg nodded slowly. "So the question is whether you want to be Christine that badly."
"I do not know the answer."
Greg stood up. "You have a week to figure it out." He left for class. Jake stayed on the couch. At rehearsal, Howard ran Act One again. Jake went through the motions. Her voice sounded fine. Her movements looked right. But Howard watched her with narrowed eyes.
After "Think of Me," Howard stopped the orchestra.
"Jake, come here."
Jake walked to the edge of the stage. Howard stood with his clipboard.
"What is wrong?" Howard asked.
"Nothing."
"Do not lie to me. You have been off since yesterday. Your voice is there. Your body is there. Your mind is somewhere else." Jake looked at the floor. "I got a job offer. For after the show." Howard lowered his clipboard. "What kind of job?"
"A cruise ship. They want me to play Christine. Six months."
Howard was quiet for a moment. "That is a good opportunity."
"I know."
"Then why are you distracted?"
Jake looked up. "Because they want me to live as a woman the whole time. On and off stage."
Howard put his clipboard on a chair. He walked up the steps to the stage. He stood next to Jake. "Jake, I have directed theater for thirty years. I have seen actors do all kinds of things for a role. Some shaved their heads. Some lost weight. Some gained weight. One actor learned to play the violin in six weeks."
Jake waited.
"But I have never seen anyone do what you have done. You walked into this rehearsal room as a boy. You put on heels. You learned to move like a woman. You kissed your male roommate on stage. You went on a date with a man who did not know you were a guy. You have already lived half the life this cruise ship is offering." Jake felt his throat tighten.
"So the question is not whether you can do it," Howard said. "The question is whether you want to. And that is a question only you can answer."
Howard walked back to his chair. He picked up his clipboard. "Now let us run the scene again. From the top."
Jake took a breath. She walked to her mark. The orchestra started. She sang. This time, her mind stayed in the room. After rehearsal, Nicole found Jake by the water fountain.
"Howard talked to you for a long time," Nicole said.
"He gave me advice."
"About what?"
Jake told her about the cruise ship. Nicole's eyes went wide.
"Six months as a girl? That is intense."
"I know."
"Are you going to do it?"
Jake shrugged. "I have a week to decide."
Nicole touched his arm. "Whatever you choose, I will support you."
"Thanks."
That night, Jake sat in his room. He opened his laptop. He searched for videos of cruise ship productions. He watched a performance of Phantom from a ship in the Caribbean. The stage looked smaller. The costumes looked bright. The actors smiled wide.
He closed the laptop. He lay on his bed.
A knock on his door. Greg.
"Come in."
Greg opened the door. He leaned against the frame.
"I have been thinking about what you said. About the cruise."
"Yeah?"
"If you go, you will be gone for six months."
"I know."
Greg looked at the floor. "That is a long time."
Jake sat up. "Are you saying you would miss me?"
Greg did not answer right away. Then he said, "Yeah. I would."
Jake felt something move in his chest. "Greg, last week we agreed to keep things professional."
"I know. But professional does not mean I stop caring whether you are around." They looked at each other. The room felt small.
"I have not decided yet," Jake said. "Well, when you do, let me know."
Greg left. He closed the door behind him. Jake lay back down. He stared at the ceiling. His phone buzzed. A text from Andy. I have been thinking about you. Hope you are okay.
Jake typed back. I am okay. Hope you are too.
Andy: Maybe we can talk someday. As friends.
Jake: I would like that.
Andy: Good luck with your show.
Jake: Thanks.
He put the phone down. He closed his eyes. Tomorrow, another rehearsal. Another day in heels and a wig. Another step closer to opening night. And somewhere after that, a decision.