Casey and I walked back to her house. The sun was lower now, and the air was still warm. I felt good, really good. Jamie liked my dress, and she hugged me for a long time. Maybe she liked me, like really liked me. I did not want to say that out loud, not yet.
We got back to Casey’s house. Sam was still there, watching TV on the couch. She exclaimed that I was back and asked how it went. I told her it went well, that Jamie liked the dress. Sam said she knew she would.
I went to the bathroom and took off the dress, the bra, and the socks from my chest. I put my own clothes back on: yellow top, blue shorts, blue sandals. I looked in the mirror. Alex again, a boy in shorts. It felt strange, like taking off a costume. But the dress was not a costume, not really.
I went back to the living room and said I should go home because my mom would worry. Casey said okay and asked if she would see me tomorrow. I said yes, we needed to practice makeup for the carnival. Sam nodded and said she would bring her eyeshadow, lots of colors. We said goodbye.
I walked home. The streets were quiet, with a few cars and a dog barking somewhere. I thought about Jamie, her smile, her hand on my shoulder. I thought about the dream I had, the one where she kissed me. My phone buzzed. A text from Jamie said I looked really good today and that I should wear the black dress tomorrow. I smiled and texted back, okay, if she wanted. She replied that she did want. My heart jumped.
I got home. My mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She asked how Casey’s was, and I said good. She asked if I had eaten, and I said not yet. She told me to sit down, dinner in ten minutes. I sat at the table, and she put food in front of me: chicken, rice, vegetables. She sat across from me and apologized about today, about Derek and the slap. I said it was okay. She mentioned Margaret was not speaking to her, but she did not care; Derek should not have said those things. I agreed he was mean. She said I should not have hit him, but she understood. We ate in silence for a while.
Then my mother said she had been thinking about what she said, about my friends thinking I was one of the girls. She told me she was wrong and that she was sorry. I looked at her, surprised, and asked really. She said really, that I had good friends who liked me for me, not because they thought I was something else. I felt relief in my chest and thanked her. But she still thought I should spend time with boys too, just to have balance. I said boys were gross, but she said not all boys, some were nice. I promised I would think about it. She smiled and said that was all she asked.
After dinner, I went to my room and looked at the black dress, the one my mother bought me, the one from the dream. I took it out of the bag. It was beautiful, powder blue, floaty, soft like satin. I held it against my body. Jamie wanted me to wear it tomorrow. I put it back in the bag and into my closet, then went to bed.
That night, I dreamed again. Jamie was there, on the mountain like before, wearing the powder blue dress, the same one in my closet. She walked toward me and took my hand, saying I looked pretty. I thanked her. She kissed me, soft at first, then harder. I woke up.
Morning came fast. I dressed in my own clothes: shorts, a tank top, sandals. My mother made breakfast. I told her I was going to Sam’s house to practice makeup for the carnival. She questioned the makeup, and I explained it was for the costume. I was going to be Posh Spice, and Posh Spice wore makeup. My mother looked at me for a long time before saying okay, have fun.
I put the powder blue dress and the bra my mother bought in a bag and walked to Sam’s house. Sam lived in a big house. Her parents had money, and her room was huge. Casey was already there, and Taylor too. Taylor exclaimed my name and said she had heard about Derek, asking if I really slapped him. I said yes, and Taylor said good, he sounded awful.
Jamie was not there yet. I waited. My phone buzzed with a text from Jamie saying she was running late but would be there soon. My heart slowed down. We set up the makeup. Sam had everything: foundation, concealer, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, blush. Sam asked who wanted to go first, and Casey volunteered. Sam made her look like Ginger Spice with red lips and dark eyes. Then Sam did Taylor’s makeup, natural and simple like Sporty Spice. Then Sam did her own: Baby Spice, pink cheeks, pink lips.
The doorbell rang. Sam said it was Jamie and went to get it. She came back with Jamie, who looked beautiful in jeans, a white top, and sandals. Jamie greeted me and asked if I brought the dress. I nodded and showed her the bag. She told me to wear it now. I asked now, and she said yes, put it on.
I went to Sam’s bathroom and put on the padded bra, then the powder blue dress. It fit perfectly, like it was made for me. The color was soft, the fabric light, floating around my legs. I looked in the mirror and did not see Alex. I saw someone else, someone pretty. I walked out. Everyone stopped. Jamie stood up, walked to me, and looked at my face, my hair, my dress. She said I was beautiful. I blushed. Sam announced it was time for my makeup.
I sat in the chair while Sam worked carefully, making me look like Posh Spice: light eyes, dark lips, sharp cheekbones. When she finished, I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful girl. Casey said perfect. Jamie nodded and said I looked like I belonged in a magazine. I smiled.
Jamie took my hand and told me to come with her. She pulled me to Sam’s balcony. The door was open, the sun warm. We stood outside alone. Jamie said she needed to tell me something. My heart pounded. I asked what. She stepped closer and said she liked me, not as a friend but as more. I could not breathe. I told her I liked her too, a lot. She smiled, then she kissed me, just like in my dream: soft, then harder. Her tongue touched my lips, and I opened my mouth. We kissed for a long time. When we stopped, she looked at me and said I was her boyfriend now. I said okay, shaking.
We went back inside. Casey looked at us and knew. She exclaimed, finally. Taylor smiled, and Sam clapped. Jamie put her arm around me. I was the happiest boy in the world, even in a powder blue dress.
Chapter Nine: Boyfriend and Girlfriend
Jamie kept her arm around me. We went back inside Sam’s room, and everyone was looking at us. Taylor asked if we were together now. Jamie said yes, Alex was her boyfriend. My face got hot, but I was happy. Sam hugged me, saying she was so happy for me. Casey hugged Jamie and said finally, we all knew this was coming. Jamie asked if they did. Casey said yes, I had liked Jamie for months. I wanted to disappear, but in a good way. Taylor opened a bottle of soda and declared we should celebrate. We sat in a circle on Sam’s floor, drank soda, and talked. Jamie sat next to me, our legs touching.
Jamie said not to tell anyone yet, not at school. Sam asked why not. Jamie wanted to keep it private for a while. I understood. School could be mean, people talked. I agreed to keep it a secret. Jamie repeated secret, and we shook hands like a promise.
We went back to practicing our Spice Girls looks. Sam did Jamie’s makeup as Scary Spice: dark eyes, brown lips, big curly hair. Jamie looked amazing, even more than usual. I could not stop looking at her. Casey told me to stop staring or I would burn a hole in her. Everyone laughed, and I laughed too. We took lots of photos, each of us in our costumes: me in the powder blue dress, Jamie in a floaty top and black pants, Casey in a red dress and glitter top, Sam in a baby doll nightie with pigtails, Taylor in kickboxing clothes. We looked like the Spice Girls, not perfect but close.
Sam said we needed to practice walking as a group. We walked across Sam’s room in a line, trying to look cool. I tripped on my dress, but Jamie caught my arm and told me to be careful. I apologized, saying I was not used to long dresses. Jamie said I would learn. We practiced for an hour, and by the end, I could walk without tripping. Taylor suggested we get lunch.
We went to the kitchen. Sam’s mother made sandwiches. She looked at me in the dress and just smiled. Sam’s mother was nice, different from my mom. After lunch, Jamie pulled me aside and asked me to walk with her. We went outside to Sam’s big backyard with grass, trees, and a small garden. Jamie held my hand and asked if my parents knew about us. I said no. She asked if they would be okay with it. I thought about my mother, who wanted me to have boy friends, but a girlfriend was different. I said I thought so, that my mom liked her. Jamie said her mom would like me too, she already did. She always said I was polite and cute. I blushed and asked if she thought I was cute. Jamie said in a boy way, she knew I was a boy.
We walked to the end of the garden and sat on a bench. Jamie told me she had never dated anyone before. I said me neither, no one, just her. She smiled and said good, we could learn together. She leaned over and kissed me again, soft and sweet. I put my hand on her face. Her skin was warm. We stayed on the bench, just sitting and holding hands.
Then my phone buzzed. My mother asked where I was. I texted back that I was at Sam’s and coming home soon, and she said okay, dinner at seven. Jamie asked if everything was okay. I said yes, my mom wanted me home for dinner. We walked back to the house hand in hand. Inside, Sam was packing up the makeup and said she would see us all tomorrow, asking same time. Casey agreed, saying we needed more practice.
I went to the bathroom, changed out of the powder blue dress, and put it back in the bag. I took off the bra and put on my shorts and top. I washed my face. The makeup came off in pink water. I looked in the mirror. Alex again, a boy in shorts, but different now. I had a girlfriend. Jamie was waiting for me by the door and asked if I wanted her to walk me home. I said okay. We walked together in the low golden sunlight. Jamie lived close, just a few streets away. We stopped at my gate. She asked if she would see me tomorrow. I said yes. She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I watched her curly hair bounce.
I went inside. My mother was cooking and asked how practice was. I said good, we were getting better. She asked if I wore makeup, and I said for practice, yes. She noted I had washed it off. I said it was just for the carnival. My mother nodded and did not say anything else. Dinner was quiet. She seemed tired.
After dinner, I went to my room, took out the powder blue dress, and hung it in my closet. Then I texted Jamie: Today was the best day ever. She texted back: Me too. Goodnight, boyfriend. I texted: Goodnight, girlfriend. I smiled at my phone and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
Chapter Ten: Keeping Secrets
The next morning, I woke up smiling. I had a girlfriend. Jamie was my girlfriend. I lay in bed for a few minutes, just thinking about her smile and her kiss. My phone buzzed. Good morning, boyfriend, Jamie texted. I texted back good morning.
I got dressed: jeans, a green t-shirt, my blue sandals. My mother was in the kitchen with coffee and toast. She said I looked happy. I said I was happy. She asked if something good happened. I almost told her about Jamie, about us, but Jamie wanted to keep it a secret for now. I said I was just excited about the carnival. My mother smiled and said that was nice. I ate breakfast and then went to Casey’s house.
We were supposed to practice our Spice Girls dance. Taylor had made up some moves. Casey opened the door. Sam was already there and asked where Jamie was. I said she was coming, she had texted me. Taylor arrived a few minutes later, then Jamie. Jamie walked in, looked at me, and smiled. I wanted to kiss her, but not in front of everyone, not yet.
Taylor instructed us to line up and practice the walk. We lined up: Taylor, Sam, Casey, Jamie, then me. We walked across Casey’s living room, one, two, three, four, turn, walk back. My walk was getting better. I did not trip. Taylor said good and then told us to practice the poses. We did hands on hips, looking over shoulders, pointing at the camera. I felt silly, but everyone else was doing it too. After an hour, we took a break. Sam brought out juice, and we sat on the floor.
Casey asked Alex and Jamie how it happened. Jamie looked at me and told me to tell them. I felt my face get hot. I explained that I had liked Jamie for a long time, and she liked me, and yesterday on the balcony we kissed. Sam said it was so romantic. Taylor nodded and said she knew it would happen. We always looked at each other in a certain way. I asked what way. Taylor said like we wanted to eat each other. Everyone laughed, and I laughed too, blushing.
Casey asked if we were going to tell our parents. Jamie said not yet. Her mom would be fine, but my mom might be weird about it. I said she was getting better and had apologized for what she said before. Sam said that was good.
We finished our juice and practiced more. By lunchtime, we had the whole routine: walk, pose, turn, walk back. Taylor said we needed music, Spice Girls music. Casey put on the song Wannabe. We practiced with the music. It was harder and faster, but we got it. Sam said one more week until the carnival. Casey said she was nervous, and I said me too, but I was also excited.
After practice, Jamie pulled me aside and asked if I would walk her home. We walked together in the hot sun, holding hands where no one was around. She asked if I was happy. I said yes, very happy, and asked if she was. She said yes. We walked in silence for a bit. Then Jamie said she wanted to tell her mom about us and asked if I would come over for dinner. My heart jumped. I asked tonight. She said yes, if I wanted. I said I wanted. She smiled and said good, seven o’clock. At her gate, she kissed me on the cheek and said see you tonight.
I walked home with butterflies in my stomach, thinking about dinner with Jamie’s family. I went to my room and looked in my closet, wondering what to wear. Not a dress, not for her parents. Jeans, a nice shirt, my good shoes. I picked a blue button-down shirt, dark jeans, and white sneakers. I showered, put on deodorant, brushed my hair. I looked in the mirror and saw a boy, a nice boy.
My mother knocked on my door and said dinner was almost ready. I told her I was going to Jamie’s for dinner. She asked why, and I said Jamie invited me, her mom was cooking. My mother looked surprised but nodded and told me to be polite and say thank you. I said I would. I left at six thirty.
Jamie’s house was ten minutes away. I rang the bell. Maya, Jamie’s sister, opened the door and said I looked normal today. I thanked her and she let me in. Jamie came down the stairs in a yellow sundress, her hair down. She looked beautiful. She greeted me, took my hand, and led me to the kitchen. Her mother was there, a tall woman with dark skin and short hair. Jamie introduced me as her boyfriend. Her mother smiled and said she had heard so much about me. I said nice to meet her. She said dinner was ready and to sit down.
We sat at the table. Jamie’s father came in, tall and bald, friendly. He said so I was the boy who wore dresses. I froze. Jamie kicked him under the table and said dad in a warning tone. He said he was just joking, that he did not care what I wore as long as I was nice to his daughter. I promised I would be. Dinner was good: rice, chicken, vegetables. Jamie’s parents asked me questions about school, my family, the carnival. They were nice, not weird at all.
After dinner, Jamie and I went to her room and sat on her bed. I said that was not so bad. Jamie said her dad was a little strange but meant well. I said I liked them. She leaned over and kissed me, and we kissed for a long time. Then my phone buzzed. My mother asked if I was coming home soon. I texted back yes, ten minutes. I told Jamie I had to go. She said okay, see you tomorrow. She walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye. I walked home in the dark, smiling.
My mother was on the couch watching TV and asked how dinner was. I said good, her parents were nice. She said that was good. I went to my room and lay on my bed. I had a girlfriend, and her parents liked me. Life was good.