Dear Journal
For the first time, I wore something besides a hoodie to my appointment with Dr. Chen. I even put on a little makeup. Sissy’s, of course. She ate my Easter candy, so I see nothing wrong with borrowing her lipstick.
I wore a pretty sleeveless sundress. The last time I wore it was for an Independence Day BBQ last summer. “Nice guns, sis!” Michelle had said at the time, flexing her arms in a weight-lifter pose. Needless to say, it was quickly relegated to the back of my closet.
It deserved better. So did I.
“You look nice,” Dr. Chen said when I entered his office. “What’s the occasion?”
I couldn’t tell him he was, so I just shrugged and said, “The weather’s getting warmer.” Fortunately, Dr. Chen keeps the lights low, so I don’t think he noticed how red my face was.
After getting settled, he asked if I was still keeping my journal. Of course, I said “Yes.”
“Do you still think it’s helping?”
“I think so.” I couldn’t think of specific examples, at least any that I could discuss, so I blurted out, “I’m getting along better with my sister.”
“What do you attribute that to?”
“I’m trying to be more patient. More understanding. I even bought her Starbucks today.”
“I’m sure she appreciated that.”
I nodded.
“And she’s been nicer to you?”
I nodded again. It’s all relative, of course. “Nicer” for sissy is calling me “piggy” a little less and letting me use the bathroom before the tardy bell.
“What about your folks?”
“I’ve been helping around the house more. Mom seems to appreciate it.”
Dr. Chen smiled. “You’re making progress, Jessie.”
My heart began to race, and again I was grateful for the low lights. I was blushing so much, I regretted adding sissy’s.
“If you ever have trouble coming up with journal topics,” Dr. Chen continued, “Start with a question. Something positive. What did I learn today? What was the best part of my day? What challenges did I overcome?”
I thought of some positive questions. Does sis look fatter today? How much has she gained? How long until I can start calling her ‘piggy’?
“Got it,” I said.
At the end of our session, Dr. Chen said he was proud of me and gave me a hug. He’s never done either before. Both felt nice…especially the hug. I could feel everything through the thin fabric of the sundress. The press of his hand against my back. The brush of his chest against mine. I wanted it to last a lot longer than it did.
Fortunately, sissy was still at soccer practice when I got home, so I was able to spend a long time in the shower, going over the moment in my mind.
--Jessie