Dear Journal:
Saturday was sissy’s graduation. She still hasn’t killed me yet, so Mom must not have told her about her pending appointment with Dr. Chen to discuss how much she’s fucked up her life. I suppose it made sense for Mom to wait until after all the pomp and circumstance, but if she were smart, she would've told her while we still had family in town. That way, they could've attended sissy’s ceremony and my funeral in one fell swoop!
Grandma Alice stayed with us, and I volunteered to let her stay in my room. I was going to get kicked out anyway, so I figured I might as well earn a few brownie points. No matter how much shine had come off sissy’s crown, she was still the reigning queen, and the chances of her giving up her room for Grandma during her academic coronation were somewhere between her getting slim and becoming a nun.
So, after finding a hiding spot for my journal, I moved to the couch. I make it seem like a big deal, but it really wasn’t. Grandma is super sweet and one of the few people I can count on for unconditional love. Even at my rebellious, bratty worst, she never wavered. No matter how fat and bitchy I got, she was there with a hug and a piece of homemade pie.
“Let me have a look at you girls!” Grandma said after giving us hugs upon her arrival. She always says that, and it always makes me cringe. I hate feeling judged. It’s not like she’s ever mean—my face could be hanging off my skull and the worst she’d say is that it looked like I needed sleep—but still.
For the first time, I think sissy cringed a little, too.
“Who is this lovely young lady?” Grandma said, holding my hands in hers and extending them to the side to get a better look.
"Hi, Grandma," I sighed. I was in one of my new outfits, a vibrant sundress that flattered my figure and hid most of my bulges. Is it shallow that I wore it in anticipation of Grandma’s inspection?
“Tsk, tsk, Jessie, you are positively wasting away,” Grandma continued. Then she looked at Mom. “I may need to bake a pie or two while I’m here.”
“Oh, mom,” mom said dismissively. “You’ll do no such thing.”
Grandma gave me a wink before turning her attention to Michelle. “And how’s my other blossoming beauty?”
“Fine, grandma,” Michelle said. Her normally radiant smile looked surprisingly fragile. She had clearly interpreted “blossoming beauty” as Grandma-speak for “lard ass.”
“I should say so.” Instead of lifting Michelle’s arms, as she had done with me, Grandma placed her hands at sissy’s sides. “It looks like someone’s been enjoying life.”
My sister was wearing a new outfit, too--a pair of black jeans she had gotten with Mom sometime after our failed trip to Dillard’s. They made her ass look good, squeezing and molding it into PAWG perfection. But with nowhere else to go inside the tight denim, excess flesh muffined over her waistband.
Eating 3,000 calories-worth of brownies in a single sitting will do that to you.
Sissy’s face drained of all color, and I could tell she wanted to beat a hasty retreat, but Grandma’s grip wouldn’t allow it.
“I swear you two look more and more like twins every time I see you.”
“Thanks, Grandma,” I said. It was obvious I was the only one who considered that a compliment.
Sissy stayed quiet for a while, but all was forgiven when Grandma gave her a $500 graduation check. If there was one thing sissy coveted more than beauty, it was money.
Anyway, things really got good when the rest of the family arrived. More deets to come!
--Jessie