Tagging along with The Doctor on what she assumed was an innocent shopping trip, Yasmin Khan is confronted with the harsh reality that The Doctor is not the dorky, innocent blonde she once thought. After thousands of years, The Doctor is quite used to finding fun wherever her whims take her, spending her eternity in ways the girl can't believe, or resist...
-o-o-o-
“So, where are we going?” Yasmin Khan asked curiously, looking around the neon-lit streets of the world her new Time-lord friend had brought her too. The night was warm, filled with iridescent fog, inhuman language, and alien strangers, and the excitement of being on a different world was as electric for Yaz as it had been just days ago when she had first left her home behind.
Ahead of her the blonde-bobbed form of The Doctor stopped in her tracks and spun around, surprised. “Yaz!? What are you doing here?”
Yasmin blinked, “Uh, following you, I guess?” She took in The Doctor’s confused expression and sighed wearily. “You forgot I was here, didn’t you?”
“Nooooo.” The Doctor smiled unconvincingly, looping her arm in Yaz’s and patting her. “Just lost in my thoughts, that’s all. New brain, new perception of reality, it’ll take me weeks to sort through all these neurons. Besides, we dropped the boys off hours ago, it’s hard to keep track of you all.”
Yaz pursed her lips. “So where are we going?”
Yaz imagined The Doctor’s cheeks flushed just a tiny bit, and her frown deepened.
“Just shopping, stocking up on supplies. You only bought me one outfit from that charity shop after all, I need a whole new wardrobe and that’s just for starters!” the bizarre blonde alien grinned, pulling Yaz along through the street until sidestepping into a narrow alleyway and at last stopping at a red-lit door with a neon sign reading “XTRUS’ DELIGHTS.”
She opened the door with a cartoonishly chivalrous bow, and ushered Yaz inside. “Whenever the Tardis remodels all my things get scattered about, and I always end up with new tastes anyway. It’s easiest to just go and grab the essentials brand new.”
Yaz didn’t reply, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging agape as she took in the scene in front of her.
The Doctor had walked her into a sex shop.
Aisles of dildos, handcuffs, buttplugs and beads stretched out in front of her. On either side of the door, looming over her, were mannequins, one in sultry silk lingerie, the other in a leather harness with a truly colossal strap-on pointing directly at her. Screens and posters hung above them showing off ‘featured items’ and ‘weekly deals’ along with what were either instructional videos, or just porn, Yaz couldn’t tell.
“Scuse’ me.” A seven-foot mountain of a woman with yellow skin grunted, looking down at Yaz expectantly. Yaz blinked, looking the ochre-skinned amazon up and down. She was carrying a shopping bag hooked over one arm, holding a small, waifish boy against her hip, and looking increasingly impatient.
“Come on Yaz, let’s not get in the way.” The Doctor smiled cheerfully, tugging Yaz out of doorway to let the gigantic shopper pass. “Now, where to start? Lingerie… toys… ooh zero-g fetish wear! Fun!”
“Doctor y… you’re… you…” Yaz stammered, staring as The Doctor picked a harness of a nearby rack, pressed a button, and grinned as the leather straps vibrated and floated up into the air. “You’re into… this?”
“You can wait outside if you like.” The Doctor shrugged, “Won’t be a tick.”
Yaz squirmed, cheeks burning. “No… no I’m fine it’s just… I never thought you… you know…”
The Doctor pursed her lips in a condescending smile and wound an arm around Yaz’s shoulders. “Yasmin Khan, I am almost two billion years old… I fuck.” She chuckled, “I know you humans are all silly and embarrassed about sex, but everyone does it. The birds and the bees, guys and girls... mom and dad.”
“Doctor!” Yaz squeaked.
“It’s wonderful, and you know it happens.” The Doctor laughed, slapping her back. “And I’m grateful, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Now come on, I’ll make things quick.”
Yaz whined, but as she looked over her shoulder and saw some kind of quadrupedal cross between a spider and a rhinoceros ambling down the street outside, she thought better of wandering off alone to find the Tardis.
“Eternity is a long time, even for a time-lord.” The Doctor chatted away casually, walking the aisles of lingerie and picking out sets she liked. “Human standards are so narrow to begin with, but over the years you’ve just got to experiment to keep things interesting. Sex, gender, species… as long as it’s fun that’s all that matters.”
She hummed thoughtfully and held up a semi-transparent blue babydoll up against her chest. The delicate lace seemed to move as if it was alive, coiling threads making patterns over its surface like ribbons of reflections off water. “What do you think? Do I wear blue well?”
“Uh… I guess.” Yaz replied lamely, her already flushed cheeks growing darker as she couldn’t help but imagine The Doctor’s perky body slipped into the tiny transparent dress. “I like your trousers.”
The Doctor grinned and wiggled her hips, looking down at the baggy blue pants covering her up down to just above her ankle. “They are fun, but a little frumpy. I want to show off my new curves now I’ve got them, definitely the nicest legs I’ve had.”
Yaz didn’t comment, but The Doctor wasn’t discouraged, her mouth continuing to run a mile a minute as she picked set after set off the racks and handed them to Yaz to carry.
“Never did clothes shopping like this before!” she declared happily. “Makes me feel all girly, a little shopping trip. We should get manicures and shoes, gossip about boys!”
“Not much to gossip about.” Yaz muttered, awkwardly trying to keep the ever-growing pile of underwear balanced in her arms. “Listen, can’t you carry some of this?”
The Doctor hummed dismissively. “Just a few more, then we’ll go to the changing rooms. Tell you what though, maybe it’s time to start looking at holographic clothes again? Ever so convenient, but you’ve got to be careful not to drain the battery on your projector, or leave any puddles if you’re having fun!”
“I didn’t realise you were so casual about sex.” Yaz winced.
“It’s like having a favourite meal. If you eat it again and again and again it stops being special.” She said airily, as the lingerie she was picking through transitioned into straps and corsets and collars. “You have to keep experimenting or you’ll never have any fun. My lot used to have vows of chastity, it got to the point we didn’t even reproduce as a society. It was absolutely no fun at all, but that’s Gallifrey for you.”
“I had an argument with the wife about it once, can’t remember why, ended up with me in a cage for months!” The Blonde sighed, “Like I said, no fun at all, but she always was persuasive.”
“Wife?” Yaz frowned, “You’re married?”
“Oh a dozen times, off and on.” The Doctor shrugged, pausing and draping a leather dog collar around her throat, seeming hypnotised by the glimmer of the bone-shaped tag reading ‘bitch’ as it dangled over her collarbone. “It’s an open thing. We’re always meeting in the wrong order, it’s impossible to keep track who’s sleeping with who or what or when, better to just have fun when we’re together and catch up on what we’ve been up to on our own.”
“Is she like you?”
The Doctor raised an eyebrow, “A time-lord? Not quite, almost, maybe… but like I said species really doesn’t matter. Pleasure is pleasure. All’s fair in love for whores.”
“All’s fair in love and war.” Yaz corrected.
The Doctor rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Lyly. More than happy to flirt with my friends, so stuck up when I critique his scripts.” She put down the puppy-mask she’d been admiring and took an armful of panties from Yaz, guiding her down the next aisle back towards where they’d come from.
This aisle was not filled with outfits that, whilst lewd, Yaz could at least appreciate the beauty of.
It was filled with dicks.
Big dicks, small dicks, wide dicks, long dicks. Rubber and plastic and metal and glass dicks. Dicks the size of her pinkie finger, to dicks the size of her entire leg. Dicks that were embarrassingly familiar, and shapes she only surmised were dicks because literally everything else in the aisle was.
She was almost relieved when The Doctor picked up a plum-sized buttplug, giving her the opportunity to look at anything other than cock.
“Wearable technology!” The Doctor was grinning, showing off how the plug conjured a glowing holographic label above her head when she squeezed it, saying some truly degrading things about her. “Always good for a party. I had a pair of sonic shades for a while but aside from the x-ray function I never had time to add more features.”
“Doctor this is a lot.” Yaz complained as the blonde dragged her onwards, stopping frequently to ooh and ahh over some truly despicable dildos. She wasn’t a prude, she knew enough about toys and owned one or two herself, but this was worlds away from a simply honest massage wand. Some of these monsters would have given the people at Bad Dragon a heart-attack.
“All you need is the right amount of lube.” The Doctor chuckled obliviously, waving around a horse-cock dildo like it was a broadsword. “There’s more than one way to ride, after all. Besides, once you’re strapped in and they start to canter, mmm!”
“Doctor!”
“Yaz every alien in the universe is different.” The Doctor tutted, gesturing to another dildo with a bulbous fist-sized knot at its base. “I’ve had wonderful times with species of all types and trust me, a knot is a marvellous addition to any man. I’m eager to try it with my new pussy!”
“Doctor please!” Yaz whined. “This is so wrong!”
“This is the universe!” The Doctor sighed, seeming to finally recognise Yaz’s blushing, overwhelmed panic. She smiled gently and looped her arm once again around her companion’s waist, guiding her towards the changing rooms. “Sex is a part of life, maybe it’s most fun part. All across the cosmos people are playing and experimenting and having fun, I’m no different, I’m sure you’ve had some fun of your own back on earth too, hm?”
“Well… yeah, but this…”
“This is just the same, but on a larger scale.” The Doctor explained. “Maybe you’ve slept with a younger man, or an older one? Maybe you’ve made love to another woman? It’s no different to sex with an alien that looks like a bipedal walrus or one that looks like me!”
She gave Yaz a sweet kiss to her cheek and set down her half of the pile of lingerie. They had walked into a small, comfortable changing room big enough for two, a floor-length mirror made up the entirety of one wall, two benches lining each side. Soft music played from a speaker in the ceiling, and a gentle scent of roses floated through the air. Cut off from the shameless debauchery of outside, it was almost relaxing.
“If it feels good, it is good. That’s all that matters. You’re being ruined by 21st century British values, trust me, I can show you a much better way to live.” The Doctor promised, closing the door behind them and taking Yaz’s hands in her own.
Yaz was breathless, her heart had been hammering so long and her cheeks had been burning for minutes, but suddenly she was painfully aware of both as The Doctor smiled and squeezed her hands. She really was beautiful, and Yaz suddenly realised just how wet she was beneath her jeans, and how hard her nipples were as they pressed against her shirt.
“You can… show me?”
“If you like.” The Blonde smiled. “You’re such a cutie, after all.”
“B… but….”
The Doctor laughed and shrugged off her coat, walking backwards to the pile of slutwear they’d collected, now sitting innocently on the bench of the changing room. “I’ve seen you looking, naughty girl, don’t pretend you’re not curious.”
She picked up a bra with a single finger and dangled it in front of Yaz. “It’s up to you. Your choice. Stay with the same old stuff until it gets boring, or start having some real fun now and skip the heartache. I can show you what really makes your body sing, what touches you inside like nothing else, what tastes bring you to the point of orgasm before anyone lays a finger on your skin… if you want.”
Yaz bit her lip, staring deep into The Doctor’s warm brown eyes, before wrapping her fingers around the bra and hugging it to her chest.
“Yes please.”