Talking in the Archon Babysitters Club Group Chat (Owner: ImNotEddie)
ImNotEddie has added HannahBanana.
ImNotEddie: aight we took a vote and hannah is in guess the chat is officially full
TideStar:ヾ(＾∇＾)
FlowerDragon: Welcome!
MadamButterfly: sup fucker u finally joined
AngyBirb: hey
D.Ward: Hello.
HannahBanana: lol @ that group name, I am not baby sitting any archons.
TideStar: That’s alright, mine is almost entirely self sufficient.
AngyBirb: lucky u mine is a lil shit
FlowerDragon: Nahida doesn’t need a babysitter per se, but I do watch her sometimes. She insists on ‘adult supervision’, which is funny because she’s about 500 years old and I was born in 2002 so I’m the same age as Chiyo’s daughter.
ImNotEddie: nah its mostly a joke even the divine NEET is a mostly functional adult.
HannahBanana: I see. Then what, exactly, is the purpose of this group chat? I assume we coordinate joint actions and share intel that can’t be passed along in official channels?
ImNotEddie: lol
AngyBirb: its 4 memes
AngyBirb has uploaded a picture:
AngyBirb: lulz u got duckrolled
TideStar: I mostly use it to post pictures of my baby! She just started Moyenne Section! Here she is with her new best friend!!!
TideStar has uploaded a picture.
HannahBanana: OMG, cute!
MadamButterfly: its 4 memes AND babees!!!
MadamButterfly has uploaded a picture.
AngyBirb: lolz i still cant believe u got saleem 2 do that
FlowerDragon: I post my gaming achievements. I got the Death Charger’s Reigns the other day! Just in time for TBC!!!
FlowerDragon has uploaded an image.
HannahBanana: Oh, so THAT was what Collin was yelling about! We honestly had no idea.
AngyBirb: NERD
MadamButterfly: NERD ALERT
D.Ward: Her Imperial Benevolence does not require a babysitter.
ImNotEddie: yeah that was like 20 posts back dave
HannahBanana: So, why exactly did you invite me? Not that I don’t like seeing cute baby pictures or people geeking out about stuff, but we’re not exactly friends.
MadamButterfly: frienimes
FlowerDragon: *frenemies
MadamButterfly: stfu u no wat i meant
TideStar: We really just wanted to get to know you better. We’re all still figuring out what it means to be a Dragon, and your constellation has manifested in the sky. So, we decided to invite you. The vote was unanimous!
MadamButterfly: fuck i was gonna tell her i voted against it
AngyBirb: u were the 1st one 2 tell mushu 2 invite her
MadamButterfly: u were the first one to snitch like a bitch
AngyBirb: t(-.-t) b mad
FlowerDragon: Guys, is this really how we want to welcome the Geo Dragon!? Shouldn’t we at least try to pretend we’re not a bunch of weirdos so we don’t scare her off?!
ImNotEddie: hey the guys are being perfectly normal except dave has shit internet and types at the speed of slow
D.Ward: Sorry.
ImNotEddie: hey that one was actually kinda perfect
HannahBanana: Ugh, seriously. When we were dating he would take forever to reply to my texts and half the time he would just leave me on read, and when I would ask him he’d just say ‘I didn’t have anything to say back.’
MadamButterfly: 🍿do tell
AngyBirb: oh shit we a gossip chat now?
TideStar: OMG! Kenta used to be exactly the same way when we started dating! It took me forever to convince him that even just a thumbs up made me know he cared and was listening!
ImNotEddie: you cant listen to text u know
HannahBanana: Have you ever heard of text to speech?
FlowerDragon: Oooooooooooooo!
MadamButterfly:🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥 girl u spitting straight facts my hubby is good with the texts but i feel for u ladies
AngyBirb: r u dating that duke guy now? he was at that ceremony and stuff and hes kinda hot
HannahBanana: Yes, but that can’t be shared publicly.
ImNotEddie: im pretty sure if anyone ever learned of this chat there would be like five international incidents
FlowerDragon: Don't worry, I don’t even tell Collin about what we say, though sometimes I show him Saleem or Bailu’s pictures because they’re so cute! I want one of my own!
HannahBanana: Collin has some leave coming up. And I could put him as my liaison in Baghdad.
FlowerDragon: Oh my gosh, my face is on fire! I would appreciate more time with him, but, we’re not even married yet! I just don’t know…
HannahBanana: Your dad likes him. I got him to move Ajaw’s data center to Oahu and he’s living at Red Hiill now. They talked for a long time.
MadamButterfly: oooo he picking out ring sizes yet?
AngyBirb: gross
ImNotEddie: your the one asking if shes dating ziz gotta roll with it. though we do keep this chat pg13 cause ziz is here.
AngyBirb: NOT A FUCKING KID
HannahBanana: I’ll take, ‘Things literally only children say’ for 300, Alex.
MadamButterfly: lololololololol
TideStar: I also prefer we keep things PG13 generally.
ImNotEddie: really? so i should stop sending u those texts?
TideStar: I’m going to stop sending YOU ‘those texts’ if you don’t behave yourself.
D.Ward: I have a picture.
D.Ward has uploaded an image.
FlowerDragon: Say hi to Marisa for me! And, um, you accidentally…you know what, it’s fine.
HannahBanana: You know I’m actually glad I went with this goofy ass picture I made in bitstrips instead of an actually serious one. Fits the vibes better.
MadamButterfly: yeah ull fit in fine
ImNotEddie: this is why we dont make fun of the archons too much cause we live in glass houses and shit
AngyBirb: ur mom lives in a glass house i live in a fuckin van and venti snores
ImNotEddie: my mom lives in a very nice house i bought her, thank you
HannahBanana: Well, let’s just hope I get a relatively normal one like Chiyo did. Though I have to say, I am curious about who Focalors actually is.
MadamButterfly: u and me both sister fuck im gonna get some weirdo who only speaks in lymericks or some shit
TideStar: Sorry, Lord Focalors prefers her privacy. Though, ah, she can be somewhat eccentric, I can trust her not to do anything too rash when I’m not around.
FlowerDragon: I definitely got the best and cutest archon 🥰
MadamButterfly: trade u
ImNotEddie: you dont even know yours yet
MadamButterfly: yeah but my daughter is still the best
AngyBirb: dam right
HannahBanana: No arguments here.
ImNotEddie: yeah even i cant argue
TideStar: Focalors might surprise you, but Nahida is certainly the prime example of all an Archon should be.
D.Ward: Fixed it.
D.Ward has uploaded an image.
D.Ward: I agree. Though Her Serene Benevolence is the most terrible and wonderful of Archons, Lord Buer is the Archon we should wish the next two are like.
MadamButterfly: holy shit the man can type
D.Ward: Um, sorry, this was actually Marissa. I know this is a private chat, but Mr. Ward needs help figuring out his phone sometimes. But he did agree Lord Kusinali is the greatest Archon.
ImNotEddie: would that my own daughter helps me as much when im old and blind and my thumbs dont work
AngyBirb: ur already old lol
HannahBanana: What does that make me? I’m 32.
AngyBirb: holy shit and u dated that fossil? that age gap is so cringe
FlowerDragon: I’m sure the dating pool will be wonderful for you, Ziz. You’re already an immortal bratty teenager at the tender age of six. Hannah and David are only seven years apart. My gosh, that’s how old YOU are!
AngyBirb: go fuck urself
ImNotEddie has muted AngyBirb, 5-minute time-out
ImNotEddie has muted FlowerDragon, 5-minute time-out
ImNotEddie: behave
HannahBanana: Uh, wow. Did I mess things up by joining?
TideStar: I hate to say it, but this is actually pretty normal…
MadamButterfly: we keep it real 😎
ImNotEddie: welcome to divinity, doesn’t get any better than this
HannahBanana: You were definitely right about those international incidents.