I am shaking...I write you at the brink of a panic attack... I don't know what to do
At the weekend I found A.I. loras that mimic my art, OCs and it really looks like my work/style.
I brushed it off and met a friend who offered me comfort. He made an account on that website to dig into it and I was shocked to see images resembling my artwork... witnessing the 'quality' and quantety of images in my artstyle left me speachless...
Got a panick attack and had to stay over night at his place. (I got better and I took a day off to calm myself...)
Then today... a few moments ago... I proceeded to check the site again, to see what I can do about it...I found 3 models (maybe more with my influence in it?) on that site alone...
8k uses of one of the loras. Didnt checked the others, but... endless scrolling of mimiced images
I don't know what to do.
I feel betrayed
I feel powerless
I wanna burry myself
Idk if I can go on like this
Have the feeling of slipping into depression.
What's the point of it all? I dedicated 10 years of my life to my work and I can tell you due to my experiance as a self employed artist... It's no fun not being able to pay your bills properly and relay on friends and family to help you out, stuggeling all the time with tax authorities, bureaucracy, not being able to replace clothing that you have to wear, despite the fact that they are full of holes,
or that just going out with friends and enjoy life is no option, because you can't afford it...
I did all of this for the sake of doing art and making myself and others happy and building a gateway for my own and others sexual desires.
Idk ... I wanna be an artist. I wanna have a boner each time I work. I wanna continue making people happy... but competing against my own style, being generated in no time, when I take days for a piece of artwork...
It feels so utterly unfair.
What was the point of sacrificing my time and life over the years?
I am 37 now... and I wanna go on with my work and grow as a person and artist further more.
But I am doubting my life decisions...
Having others use my work like this and maybe even make a profit out of it... what can I do to stay sane under such pressure? A machine is replacing my artistic vision and existence just like that?
I have the feeling I have to rely on you more then ever.
If you know what I can do, let me know?
If you wanna support me with a coin, please do.
The friend of mine said I should make it an official lora so I can cash on it.
It might help my finances, but will it help my soul? I doubt it.
I am confused and hurt.
I will try to work, but also rest and think about how my journey will evolve.
Make suggestions if you can.
pls let me know if you have ideas.
there are no wrong answers, since I don't know the answer for myself neither.
thank you for listening and for your support, love and generousity over the years and hopefully many years to come.
yours truely
Matthias V.
aka Animas Animus
A_A
PS: Sorry for the long txt had to get it out of my system... it helped... feeling calm again.
Thank you for reading to the end.