Chapter 26: Beyond Memories
Wide, startled eyes stared back at me, and I found my mouth frozen as no more words came. A whirlwind of emotions ravaged my mind, leaving me completely speechless.
Firefly wasn't doing much better.
She stood in a similar state, her mouth opening and closing several times, yet no words came out.
After several moments of awkward silence, Firefly narrowed her eyes with determination before suddenly closing the distance between us and gently grabbing my hand.
“Please... follow me.” she muttered quietly before turning around and leading me away.
Without hesitation or complaint, I followed.
As we walked through the empty streets of Boulder Town, I looked down at where Firefly was holding my hand and, almost absentmindedly, intertwined our fingers before giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
'Her hand is so soft.'
Firefly glanced back at me for a brief moment.
A small blush had spread across her cheeks, and she looked at me with a nervous but genuinely happy expression before gently squeezing my hand back, not seeming bothered by my actions in the slightest.
That simple gesture only made my heart pound even harder.
With my free hand, I discreetly pinched myself just to make sure I wasn't somehow dreaming all of this.
The sharp sting immediately answered my question.
'She's really here.'
A silent sigh of relief escaped me.
Content to remain quiet for now, I simply followed Firefly wherever she was taking us, never once doubting her or thinking she meant me any harm.
It didn't take long before she led me into what looked like an abandoned building before quickly closing the door behind us.
Now hidden from view and without having to worry about anyone overhearing us, Firefly finally turned to face me.
Our hands were still connected.
“I-I know it's stra—” Firefly nervously began, clearly trying to find the right words.
I didn't let her finish.
Now that we were finally alone, I didn't waste another second.
Taking a confident step forward, I pulled her into my arms, cutting off whatever she wanted to say as I buried my face in her soft hair and hugged her tightly.
As if she might disappear if I let go.
Firefly froze completely.
For a brief moment, she didn't seem to know how to react.
“Firefly...” I whispered quietly into her hair as I tightened my embrace just a little. “I missed you so much.”
A warm tear slid down my cheek.
A second later, I felt her arms slowly wrap around my back with just as much strength.
“C-Caelus...” Firefly's trembling voice reached my ears as her fingers tightly gripped the back of my jacket.
I didn't answer.
There was nothing else I wanted to say right now.
I simply closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of finally having her in my arms while absentmindedly breathing in the sweet fragrance of her shampoo.
We remained like that for what felt like forever.
Neither of us cared how much time passed.
Eventually, I felt Firefly shift slightly in my embrace.
Loosening my arms, I let her pull back.
She didn't move very far.
Only enough to raise her head and look into my eyes properly.
Her beautiful eyes were already glistening.
A pair of dried tear tracks could still be seen on her cheeks.
As we stared into each other’s eyes, with countless emotions reflected in them from each of us, almost as if we were in sync, our hands slowly rose and we gently cupped each other’s cheeks.
While I softly wiped the dried tears from her cheeks, Firefly simply held mine and gently rubbed it as if trying to re-familiarize herself with my face.
Firefly suddenly froze as she realized what she was doing, and I watched in silent amusement as her face turned completely red before she let out a cute little “eep” and finally jumped out of my arms.
“I-I-I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me,” Firefly stuttered terribly as her eyes even turned into little spirals and she frantically waved her hands in panic.
Shoving the disappointment of no longer holding her in my arms to the back of my mind, I smiled gently before reaching out and taking her hand again, internally very glad that, other than another adorable squeak, she didn't seem to mind.
“It’s okay. I should apologize too,” I said with a small shake of my head before looking at her again with a happy smile. “It’s just... when I saw you, I couldn’t help myself. My body reacted before I even realized what I was doing.”
Firefly’s eyes widened at my words before she looked at me with such hope in them that it was almost painful. I had a feeling I already knew what her next question was going to be, and I knew my answer wasn't going to be the one she wanted to hear.
“…T-Then, does that mean... that you recovered your memories?” Firefly asked tentatively, making me internally wince. “That you remember us... that you remember me?”
‘I knew it.’
Letting out a deep sigh, I couldn't keep the frown from my face, and it felt as though someone had stabbed me in the chest when I saw her hopeful expression slowly crumble at my reaction. I hurried to explain before she misunderstood.
“…I’m sorry,” I said gently, and I truly meant it as I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before quickly wiping away the tear that escaped down her cheek.
“While I remember bits and pieces, and even have some memories of possible futures, the majority of my past before waking up on Herta’s Space Station still remains a mystery to me,” I revealed with a small frown.
“I-I see...” Firefly lowered her head sadly for a moment before suddenly blinking and snapping her head back up in surprise.
“Wait! Memories of the future!? Did you get some kind of ability to see the future like Elio?” Firefly asked in shock.
“No,” I immediately denied, causing her to let out a sigh of relief, though she still looked at me curiously. “It’s nothing like that. At most, what I saw was one specific timeline and the adventures I had there.”
I then smiled at her and gently squeezed her hand again, causing a faint blush to spread across her cheeks before, much to my delight, she squeezed mine back.
“That’s the reason I remember you,” I admitted softly as I raised my hand and gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face before tucking it behind her ear. “In that future, we meet again for the first time in Penacony, where I got to know you and spent a lot of time with you.”
Hearing me say that, Firefly’s blush deepened until it covered her cheeks, and a shy smile grew on her lips before I continued with a gentle look.
“Even if I didn’t have those memories though, there’s no doubt in my mind that I would still recognize you, Firefly,” I muttered, causing her to blink at me in confusion.
“Even with no memories, there’s no way my heart would ever forget you.”
Still holding her hand, I gently placed it over my chest where my heart was still beating excitedly.
“…Do you feel it? My heart has been restless ever since I first caught sight of you.”
Firefly’s blush somehow became even worse, her ears turning bright red as she shyly looked away, unable to keep meeting my eyes. Even so, I couldn't help but smile when I noticed that the small smile never left her lips.
Silence settled between us once more as Firefly processed everything I had said before she finally took a deep breath and looked back at me.
“So... we really do meet again,” she whispered happily. “I’m glad.”
I shared her smile, but it didn't last long as her expression suddenly fell, her smile giving way to a worried frown while her eyes became glassy once more.
“Will that future even happen now, though?” Firefly asked quietly. “Elio said that your path has become clouded to him and that he can no longer see your future. Then... there’s the disease destroying your body.”
Her grip on my hand tightened, and I could feel it trembling slightly.
“So... you do know about that?” I whispered sadly, causing Firefly to nod stiffly as her eyes became even wetter now that I had confirmed it myself.
“I take it Wolfie told you?”
“Yes... it’s true, isn’t it?” Firefly nodded before looking at me with a despairing expression as another tear rolled down her cheek.
Grimacing, I quickly wiped it away before silently nodding my head, only for even more tears to immediately follow.
“…It’s not fair,” Firefly whispered between quiet sniffles.
“Life never is,” I replied softly.
Without another word, I pulled her into my arms again, and she immediately melted against my chest while hugging me tightly.
We remained like that for several moments as I gently ran my hand through her beautiful hair in a soothing gesture, patiently waiting for her breathing to calm.
After pulling back just enough to look at her again, I put on my best smile and gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks with my thumb.
“There’s still hope, you know?”
“Sniff... what do you mean?” Firefly asked as she looked up at me with a desperate expression, clearly trying to determine whether I was simply trying to comfort her.
When she realized I was serious, a small spark of hope returned to her beautiful eyes.
“It has to do with the reason Elio can no longer see my future... and the strange things that have been happening around me,” I revealed, much to her surprise.
Guiding her over to a clean spot against the wall, I sat down before patting the empty space beside me, inviting her to join me.
Instead of sitting next to me, however, Firefly surprised me.
In one bold motion, she gently climbed onto my lap so she was facing me before wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head against my chest, right above my heart.
Surprised by her boldness, I blinked for a moment before smiling warmly and wrapping my own arms around her back, gently pulling her even closer.
Figuring it would take a while and not wanting to worry March and Dan Heng, I sent them a quick message telling them not to worry about me before mentally preparing myself for what I was about to reveal.
Once we were both comfortable, I slowly began telling Firefly about the Chaos Gacha, sharing everything I had already told my fellow Nameless when I finally came clean to them.
When I reached the part about my previous life before this one, I felt Firefly become stiff in my arms, but thankfully she remained silent and listened patiently until I had finished.
I went on to explain my abilities, how I acquired new ones, and everything else that had happened since waking up on Herta Space Station. Unsurprisingly, it shocked her, and just like the others, she became worried that some unknown Aeon had taken an interest in me.
She did, however, turn a very interesting shade of red when I mentioned one particular healing ability, which I wisely decided to pretend I hadn't noticed.
After I finished recounting everything nearly an hour later, silence settled over the abandoned building as I quietly waited for Firefly's response, unable to stop myself from worrying about how she would react to learning I was a reincarnator and the possibility that I wasn't really Caelus.
I was at least somewhat hopeful, though.
She hadn't transformed into SAM and reduced me to ashes yet, so I considered that a good sign.
Feeling Firefly shift in my arms, my body instinctively tensed as she slowly raised her head and looked at me with a serious expression.
“Before anything else, I want you to answer something for me truthfully,” Firefly said softly, her determined expression doing little to hide the nervousness beneath it.
“Of course,” I answered immediately.
“Who are you... right now?”
It was a simple question.
Yet at the same time, it was probably the most important one she could have asked, and the answer would likely determine what happened between us from this point onward.
Hearing it, I didn't hesitate for even a second.
“I believe that memories and experiences are what make a person who they are, but unfortunately my situation isn't that simple, as you already know,” I began with a small shake of my head.
“After losing almost all my memories from this life, I had no choice but to look deeper into the memories of my previous one. That's when I realized something.”
I paused for a moment, choosing my words carefully.
“Those memories are far more complete... but they're also strangely muted. It's like watching the life of someone else unfold in front of me. I might laugh, cry, or feel sympathy while watching it, but those emotions never compare to what I feel when I remember the few fragments of my life as Caelus.”
I looked into her beautiful eyes before smiling gently.
“Actually... you were the last proof I needed that the person standing before you is Caelus and no one else.”
“What do you mean?” Firefly asked softly, her expression relaxing slightly as she carefully searched my face for any sign that I might be lying.
“Hehe, I already told you earlier, didn't I?” I chuckled at her confused expression before deciding to simply repeat myself.
“The moment I first caught a glimpse of you, I was overwhelmed with emotions and feelings on a level I hadn't experienced before. I wasn't lying when I said that even if the mind forgets, the body and heart remember,” I said with a teasing smile.
Firefly's expression slowly changed as she realized what I meant, and her face once more became as red as a tomato. Pouting cutely, she gently hit my chest with her fist.
“Mou... why do you enjoy teasing me so much?” Firefly whined adorably, but I could tell I had managed to ease her worries as her eyes once again looked at me with overwhelming joy and affection.
“Because you make the cutest expressions~” I responded automatically.
Firefly's eyes widened before she somehow became even more flustered, apparently not expecting that answer. A moment later, she buried her face against my chest.
“…Jerk,” Firefly muttered softly, her voice muffled against me, causing me to shiver slightly.
“Thank you for believing in me,” I whispered gently, making her tighten her embrace around me.
Smiling at her reaction, I gently guided her head back up so she was looking at me again before softly holding her chin, causing her to blink up at me with a still-flushed face.
“Firefly, now that you know about my abilities, I want to make you a promise,” I said as my playful smile disappeared, replaced by a serious expression.
“I’m going to cure you.”
“…W-What?” Firefly blinked owlishly.
“You might have missed it because you always worry about everyone else before yourself, but you do realize that if I eventually obtain an ability capable of curing my disease, I'm obviously going to use it on you too, right?” I asked calmly.
Firefly's eyes widened as hope and happiness briefly lit up her face before she quickly shook her head.
“No. While I... really appreciate it, and it warms my heart that you're thinking about me, your condition is much more serious than mine.”
“Focus on getting better first. Then you can worry about me. I'll be fine for a while longer, I promise.”
Frowning at the stubborn girl, I decided to let the matter drop for now, though I kept to myself that if I ever obtained a one-time ability capable of curing her, I would use it on her without a second thought.
“...Fine,” I relented reluctantly.
Firefly had already suffered enough.
Besides, in the absolute worst-case scenario, I still had my backup in the form of the 1-Up Mushroom that would revive me if I died.
Firefly studied my face with narrowed eyes, clearly trying to determine whether I was telling the truth. I made sure not to let anything show, and after a few more seconds she finally seemed satisfied as she nodded before returning to cuddling against my chest.
Relaxing again, I gently ran my fingers through Firefly's beautiful hair, earning a quiet hum of contentment from her that brought a smile to my face.
Feeling my eyelids gradually grow heavier, I was just about to suggest that we get some sleep for the rest of the night when Firefly spoke again.
“…Hey, Caelus?”
“Hmm?” I hummed quietly with my eyes closed, completely missing the nervous tone in her voice.
“Y-You said you had an ability that dealt with... healing, right?” Firefly asked with a noticeable stutter.
...
Blinking my eyes open, all traces of sleep vanished as I looked down at Firefly. Although she was still hugging my chest, it didn't stop me from noticing just how red her face had become or how stubbornly she refused to meet my gaze.
My own eyes slowly widened in realization.
'Is she suggesting...?'