Su Ah's POV:
So obvious. So damn transparent and obvious, yet she pretended as if there was nothing there. 'Why are you looking at him like that...?'
Su Ah's fist trembled underneath the table. She wondered if, to an outside perspective, Eun Ha's gaze was an overindulgent display of affection, one that, from an unbiased viewpoint, would not be deemed unnatural or concerning. Perhaps the subtle curve of the lips, the slightly inquiring yet joyous glimmer in the eyes would seem sincere to a spectator not privy to the previous night's revelation.
If she hadn't walked into the laundry room... and had missed the crucial few seconds of her mother behaving in a manner no mother should behave, then perhaps, just perhaps, this would have played out in the same fashion of the usual scenario.
Su Ah would have regarded her mother's exulted attention, along with her smug expression, as natural.
She also wondered, if always from an unbiased viewpoint, she looked no different than her mother or sister; both equally obsessed, equally scorned, equally incapable of keeping their infatuations under control, when in reality they weren't nearly as awful.
Not as mentally ill, and not as pathetic.
"......"
"Su Ah, you okay?"
Su Ah snapped her eyes towards Mia. Ah, to hear concern from her older sister-slash-rival. It wouldn't have been such a rare occurrence last year. Now, she couldn't tell whether there was any genuine concern or not. Her mind was already certain that any sudden show of goodness could only mean pity, and it'd have a darker and far less palatable motive.
Her tongue involuntarily curled in on itself in an acrid gesture. "Yes..."
Yet she didn't touch her food. She wasn't even hungry. Her appetite had vacated, and she felt sick to her core.
'You can't do that...' Her eyes rose to glare at her mother with contempt and disgust. 'It's... it's unacceptable. Mom... how... could you...?'
It wasn't a feeling that didn't last long, hypocrisy was something Su Ah learned she couldn't afford to display, because she was never pure herself, and if she wanted her sins erased, and for all these poisonous thoughts, then she'd need the power to forgive. To be merciful. And how hard was that?
To look around herself, and to see the selfish creatures of the house, the hedonistic wrestles that saw Jae-il, the youngest bird, the most responsible and mature, who would've never yielded to the self-indulgence and disgusting greed they all so terribly desired, and selfishly pounced on him.
Selfishly, irrationally, the whole family used him, they did in different degrees but with the same motivation.
And, so far, no one paid the price.
Everyone got off the hook, scot-free. Mia got her sweet reward, as did Su Ah herself, and it looked like their mother also found the fruit in the nest of snakes. The golden apple.
Jae-il seemed oblivious as he praised the food to the high heavens and beyond, like he always did. He always chose his words carefully, was brutally honest when he needed to be, and more importantly, was always attentive. He inquired about Eun Ha's days, how she was feeling, if she needed any help around the house, whether their father was treating her properly, and vaguely threatening to fix things if he did not.
Eun Ha basked under the attention, laughing, smiling, dismissing the compliments, and leaning forward with each word that ensnared her eyes from the very same perfect lips they came from.
He was a perfect son. Perfect to the very core. Too perfect.
Was that why he was so... desirable even to their own fucking mother?
Su Ah gritted her teeth, not understanding any of it.
"Can't you see it?" So, she turned towards Mia for support.
"See what?"
Mia was blissfully munching down her food, with one leg swinging, and the other bent underneath her.
"Don't you think..." She had to lower her voice again, but this time her head gestured ever so slightly toward their mother. "Don't you think Mom is acting... a little... weird?"
Mia glanced from Su Ah to their mother, who was currently gazing at Jae-il with a closed eye smile, hands under her chin, one toe skillfully swinging the slipper off her foot as she listened to him talk about football training.
Mia then turned back to Su Ah, her expression a mixture of confusion and surprise.
"Weird? She's always like that when Jae-il's around." Mia said with a shrug, then stabbed a piece of beef, and pointed it at Su Ah. "Are you feeling alright? You look like you've seen a ghost. You haven't even touched your food."
"... I'm good."
Su Ah stood up abruptly, and it was only when her chair made a disgruntled screech against the floor did the other two finally take notice of her sudden movement.
"Su Ah?" Eun Ha paused her toe swinging and looked at her daughter in surprise, taking notice of the untouched food. Jae-il likewise had a confused expression. Clearly, Su Ah's face right now looked even gloomier and reserved than usual. A tight-lipped expressionless countenance that twitched ever so lightly, as if wanting nothing more than to turn into an ugly frown. "You... you're not hungry, dear? Is it not to your liking? I can—"
"I have no appetite." Su Ah announced. And without so much as a look at her mother, or Jae-il, or Mia, she left the room.
She had no idea what kind of expression their mother wore, or Jae-il, as she stormed away.
She had no idea what kind of expression their mother wore, or Jae-il, as she stormed away. Mia and Eun Ha looked at one another. It wasn't like Su Ah to leave her plate still untouched.
Not a second later, there was the sound of a door slam from the far-end of the hallway.
xXx
Su Ah wasted away a good portion of the afternoon in a daze.
It was hard for her not to stare. She knew where her mind could wander. She knew what sorts of fantasies could flourish from even the tiniest and least relevant incidents, she understood very well the tendency of the human mind to perceive what it wanted to perceive and ignore everything else.
Knock. Knock.
"Jae-il...?" Su Ah expected her younger brother to come by and check in on her after she rushed out of breakfast earlier today. What she didn't expect was the other person standing outside her bedroom door.
"It's me."
Mia barged in without waiting for permission. There was a small smirk on her lips, though the slight shift in her face made it appear to be closer to a concerned line.
She approached her and threw herself on her bed, jolting Su Ah into a sitting position, even more surprised. She could smell the light aroma of her expensive shampoo as Mia's silky-smooth hair, shiny under the light of the windowsill, pooled underneath her.
"Mia, what are—"
She stretched her long neck. "So, tell me. What's wrong?" She drawled in that haughty tone of hers. "This isn't the usual tantrum you do. This one feels extra."
"You'd know all about the usual tantrums I do, wouldn't you?" Su Ah retorted with a condescending scoff.
It wasn't meant to sound accusatory, and it'd not have meant a thing coming from her a couple years ago. But now... things have changed.
"Sure." Mia nonchalantly admitted. "But this is a new brand. Never seen that one before, can't read it yet. It'd be better if you spit out what's wrong instead of wasting my time. I don't really care, and you know it."
"Well, you should..." She trailed off, briefly wondering whether Mia should, indeed, know anything, since she was deeply affected herself by it.
A disturbing image arose again—Mom's face, obscenely nuzzled and cuddled into his underwear, slouched against the washing machine, knees curled up, and a dazed look upon her face.
How was one supposed to function, knowing such things?
Wasn't it better for Mia to know, too? Should the burden be shared, so it wouldn't be quite so burdensome or torturous for Su Ah anymore? They were, technically, in this together. Though the word 'together' in their instance was a bit ambiguous.
"Come on, girl, I can't wait forever for you. I have better things to do than hear you bitch—"
"Unnie.. has Mom ever acted... I don't know, strangely... with Jae-il in the past?"
That caught her off guard. Mia stopped complaining and whipped upright so abruptly that it was a miracle her spine didn’t snap in the process. She faced Su Ah fully. "Strange, as in...?"
"Strange as in..."
Now how was Su Ah even supposed to phrase it? There weren't enough words to describe what she had witnessed, to tell whether it'd sound implausible or borderline comical for an outside ear, to fully convey the implications.
So, in a rather clumsy and rather vague gesture, Su Ah settled for some stuttered murmurs, trying to at least use some key adjectives that'd paint a somewhat clear picture without making her sound like a complete nutjob. "As in... weird... pervy... or..."
Su Ah had never seen Mia's eyes fly so wide open. You might have as well told her that Jae-il was getting married. "Are you really thinking this? Mom would never."