This Gender Reversed World Ain't for Me (14) - Terms and Conditions Apply... For Real

Since this world functioned almost the same as my original, I hadn't needed to apply and undergo a complete physical examination to obtain a membership. Though I did know of some countries that required a medical certificate to verify that the members were healthy enough to withstand the intense physical activity associated with fitness and gym exercises.

The gym was called FitForm.

It sat on the corner of Calloway and Fifth, a clean, glass-fronted building with tasteful signage and a potted plant by the entrance.

Willow held the door open for me, which I found quietly amusing, and we stepped inside.

The reception area was cool and had a nice scent. Music played at a responsible volume. The floors were polished concrete. A motivational poster on the wall said YOUR ONLY COMPETITION IS YESTERDAY'S YOU, which was the kind of motivation that sounded profound until you thought about it for more than four seconds.

The girl at the front desk looked up from her monitor.

Then she looked again.

Then she did that thing where a person's brain instructs their face to maintain professionalism while simultaneously sending every other system into a quiet emergency protocol. 

It was amusing to watch. A burst of color lit up her cheeks before she did a dignified attempt at being considerate, I reckoned. 

To be honest, with everything I've come to learn so far, I was surprised she didn't faint like that one girl at the cafe. 

She was maybe in her mid-twenties, with dark hair pulled back and a FitForm polo shirt in a shade of green that did her no particular favors. Her name tag said PRIYA. She had a pen in her hand and was gripping it very tightly.

"Welcome to FitForm." She said. Her voice only cracked once, on the second syllable of welcome, and I decided to be generous and not notice. "How can I—" A pause. "Can I help you?"

"We'd like to inquire about a membership." Willow stepped slightly in front of me. "For my son."

Priya looked at me.

I waved.

Then at Willow.

Then back at me.

I waved again.

"Your... son." She said in an awed voice. 

"That's right." I confirmed, smiling brightly.

Willow slightly nudged my shoulder, as if urging me not to smile.

Priya put her pen down. Picked it up again. Set it down in a slightly different position. "Of course. Absolutely. A membership." She clicked on something with her mouse. "We have several options available. Monthly, quarterly, annual. We also have a—" She stopped. Looked at her screen. Looked at me. "Sorry. Just one moment."

She turned in her chair and called toward the back room. "Lena?"

A muffled yeah? came from somewhere behind a frosted glass partition.

"Can you come out here?"

A beat of silence. "I'm in the middle of—"

"Lena."

Something in the tone of Priya's voice apparently communicated a situation requiring physical presence, because footsteps followed shortly after and a second woman appeared from behind the partition. Lena was taller, older, with reading glasses pushed up on her forehead.

She took one look at me and the glasses slid down her nose.

She pushed them back up.

"Hello." I said, waving.

"Hi..." She waved, on auto-pilot, it seemed.

"My son would like to join the gym." Willow said, with the serene patience of a woman who was mentally a thousand miles away and was regretting not staying home. I gently rubbed her back. She stilled.

"Right." Lena straightened. "Right. Absolutely. A membership. Priya, pull up the standard forms."

"I'm pulling them up." Priya turned towards Lena with an awkward smile. "But also—" She hesitated. "Should I get the other forms?"

Lena looked at her.

Priya looked back.

Something passed between them.

"...Yes." Lena said, after a moment. "Go ahead and get those too."

Willow's expression shifted just slightly.

I watched Priya disappear into the back room.

"So." I said pleasantly. "Nice facility."

"Thank you." Lena folded her hands on the counter, face twitching but she got those swooning muscles under control pretty quickly. "We're very proud of it. We have full cardio and weights floors, three private training studios, a lap pool on the lower level, and sauna facilities. Classes run throughout the day, Monday through Saturday. Sunday's open gym only. The gym itself is open twenty-four seven."

"That sounds excellent."

"We also have a juice bar."

"Even better."

Willow, who was still tracking the door Priya had disappeared through, asked. "What are the peak hours?"

"Generally six to eight in the morning and five to seven in the evening." Lena replied thoughtfully. "Midday tends to be quieter. We recommend off-peak hours for—" She paused. "For first-time members who might need a bit more space to get comfortable."

"Midday works." I said.

Lena nodded. Then Priya reappeared from the back room.

She was carrying two clipboards.

One was the standard intake form, laminated at the edges from use, slightly battered.

The second one was different. The paper on it was crisp and new, and with a bit more words to it than the standard one.

Priya set both clipboards on the counter.

I picked up the second one.

The header at the top read, in a professional but slightly defensive font.

FITFORM WELLNESS CENTERS — SUPPLEMENTARY INTAKE FORM M-1

For Members Presenting as Registered Male (Completion Mandatory Per Clause 7.4 of the FitForm Inclusive Facility Charter).

Below that, a short preamble:

To ensure the comfort, safety, and wellbeing of all members and staff, FitForm Wellness Centers requires all male members to complete the following supplementary intake documentation prior to facility access. This is not a reflection of any individual's character or behavior, but a proactive measure consistent with our commitment to a harmonious workout environment. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

"Right..." I blinked, and kept reading.

The first section was standard enough. Name, date of birth, emergency contact, pre-existing medical conditions.

Section two was where things got interesting.

SECTION 2: MEMBER WELLNESS AND ENVIRONMENTAL CONSIDERATION PROTOCOL

Please answer the following questions honestly. All responses are confidential and will be used solely to ensure an optimal experience for you and fellow members.

2.1. On a scale of 1–10, how would you rate your general comfort level when in close physical proximity to unfamiliar women during exercise?

(Note: A rating below 5 may qualify you for a complimentary orientation session with one of our female wellness liaisons, who will accompany you during your first three visits at no additional charge.)

I looked up from the clipboard.

"What's a wellness liaison?" I frowned.

Priya and Lena exchanged a look.

"It's just someone who helps new members settle in." Lena said smoothly. "Familiarize themselves with the equipment. Make sure they feel safe."

"A chaperone." I said.

"A liaison."

"Mm." I looked back at the form.

Definitely a chaperone.

2.2. Do you currently have, or anticipate having, a designated female escort or guardian who will accompany you during gym visits? (Recommended for first-time male members. Please note that FitForm staff cannot be held responsible for any incidents arising from unaccompanied male attendance during peak hours.)

Willow made a small sound beside me.

I glanced at her.

"Don't." I said, not unkindly.

She closed her mouth.

I kept reading.

2.3. FitForm offers a selection of tailored workout attire available for purchase at the front desk. Male members are strongly encouraged to select from our Considerate Coverage line, designed to minimize unnecessary visual distraction in shared workout spaces. Would you like to receive a complimentary catalog?

☐ Yes, please

☐ No, thank you (Please note that FitForm reserves the right to request attire adjustments at staff discretion.)

I read that one twice.

Then I set the clipboard down on the counter, quite proud of myself for not overly reacting.

"Considerate Coverage…" I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. 

Seriously, what the fuck. 

"It's a very popular line." Priya offered weakly.

Oh, I could only imagine how many men must've signed up at this gym and chosen to buy additional clothes they couldn't find anywhere else for cheap. 

"I'm sure it is."

2.4. In the event that another member approaches you in a manner you find uncomfortable, would you prefer to:

☐ A) Alert a FitForm staff member, who will handle the situation discreetly.

☐ B) Utilize the designated Male Comfort Station located adjacent to the men's changing room, where you may take a break in a private, monitored space until you feel ready to continue.

☐ C) Signal your accompanying guardian, if applicable.

I stared at option B for a long moment.

"What…" I began, staring and holding the paper like that one black dude meme. "... is a Male Comfort Station?"

Lena cleared her throat. "It's a small private room with a couch and some—"

"A couch."

"And some light reading material. And a water dispenser. Some members find it helpful to have a quiet space available if they—"

"If they need a minute after being approached by someone on the treadmill."

"We prefer to think of it as a proactive wellness resource."

I picked the clipboard back up and flipped to the next page.

SECTION 3: PHOTOGRAPH AND IDENTIFICATION DOCUMENTATION

All male members must provide a current government-issued photograph for facility records. Additionally, FitForm requires written confirmation from a legal guardian, spouse, or registered female escort confirming awareness of the member's gym participation.

If no such individual is available or applicable, please complete Form M-1(b): Declaration of Independent Male Membership, available at the front desk.

There was no Section 4. The form ended there, with a signature line and a small note at the bottom in slightly smaller print:

FitForm thanks you for your patience and understanding. We look forward to supporting your fitness journey in a safe, inclusive, and considerate environment. You matter to us.

I set the clipboard down.

The four of us stood in a moment of collective silence.

Then Willow said, carefully. "That seems very thorough."

"We take our duty of care seriously." Lena agreed, which was a sentence she had clearly rehearsed for situations exactly like this, though probably not for the situation exactly like this one.

I looked at the standard membership form. Then at Form M-1. Then at Lena.

"The Considerate Coverage line…" I smiled. "Is it sold by the piece or as a set?"

Lena blinked. "Sorry?"

"The catalog." I indicated the relevant checkbox. "I'd like one."

Priya made a noise that she converted, with impressive reflexes, into a cough.

Lena reached under the counter and produced a small, glossy pamphlet. I accepted it and tucked it under my arm.

"Right…" I hummed. "I'll take the annual membership. I'll fill out the standard form. As for the supplementary one—" I picked up Form M-1, considered it for a moment. "I'll take option A for section 2.4, because I'm an optimist. I'll decline the wellness liaison. And I'll have my mother here serve as my written confirmation for section 3, since she's standing right next to me and has expressed no shortage of opinions about this entire process."

Willow inhaled.

"That's—yes." She conceded, after a moment. "That's fine."

Lena took the clipboard back and made a note somewhere. 

Priya was doing something industrious with her keyboard. 

"Excellent." Lena clapped her hands cheerfully. "If you'd like to take a moment to complete the standard form, we can get your card processed and give you a quick tour of the facilities."

"That would be great." I pulled the standard form toward me and uncapped the pen. "One more question."

"Of course."

"The Male Comfort Station." I looked up. "Does it offer snacks?"

Lena stared at me.

"For... long visits." I added, just in case there was some kind of protocol for this. "Long, emotionally distressing visits."

"No." Lena replied, eventually. "Just... the water dispenser. And light reading materials."

"Okay. Thanks."

I went back to the form.

Beside me, Willow pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose and exhaled the particular kind of breath that had no name in any language but that every mother knows intimately.

​I should've probably made the tour before proceeding, but I had already made up my mind. Even from outside it was huge, it had stellar reviews across all websites it was mentioned in, and in all honesty it was the closest one to home, which was one of the main concerns of my female relatives. Distance. 

So, yeah... 

I signed my name at the bottom of the page.

Damien Winters.