Who Da Boss Lady? 43

Commissioned by InfiniteChaosRai

Who Da Boss Lady?

Chapter 43

-VB-

Eventually, Kisuke received a call from Serafall. 

When there were exotic problems, everyone eventually reached out to him. Last decade, it was the Norse. A decade before that, it was the Chinese. A century before that, the quiet Egyptians needed some pest control.

Word got around when someone like him, powerful and innovative, was around. 

But this time, the caller was exactly who he expected. 

“My my my~! Of course, I can help you, my lady Satan! But it’s not like void-related things are my specialty, you know?”

Because Satan Leviathan was on the phone. 

He first met her centuries ago. It was … right after they had their Civil War? Essentially, Takamagahara had wanted to muscle in on the Underworld. Hell, everyone with even an iota of connection to the Underworld had wanted to muscle in. Sure, the new Four Satans were strong but no faction was just four individuals and their houses. And if they took small enough bites, the Devils wouldn’t react because they were so goddamn tired after their civil war. 

Takamagahara, though, had been stewing for thousands of years. Their loss against the Soul King and Soul Society had humiliated them in the eyes of the world’s pantheons. They wanted to use this chance to make it clear that they were not weak. 

Gotei 13 had been deployed to ensure that their territory in the Underworld wasn’t affected by the war because the chief strategist didn’t think Takamagahara understood. Unless Amaterasu herself stepped out of Takamagahara to lead the “border skirmish,” the Devils would trounce them.

And they did. 

The weak deities and their servants who led the charge died by the hundreds against the Ultimate-class Devils, led by Satan Serafall who had attempted diplomacy. So exhausted and fearful of death, those same gods had rushed into Soul Society’s territory to try to survive. 

Kisuke met her there for the first time not as a captain but as a mere 3rd Seat officer, despite having been the head of the Detention Unit at the time; the Takamagahara-Devil conflict threatening to blossom into a full out war right at their border had made everyone get their hands on deck. 

Eventually, one of the captains of Gotei 13 managed to broker a peace and the devils left Soul Society’s border.

At the time, she had been just another powerful Devil, but over time, he became a captain himself and a few diplomatic exchanges later, she became a contact. 

And considering that they have been in closer contact since his exile, he might go out of his way to say that she was … might be … probably was a friend? 

Yes. 

“Mou, but this is serious, Urahara! My sister lives in that town!”

“Oh, I know~! Sona-chan is so cute.”

“You better not touch her.”

“Oh, why would I?”

“... Ugh, fine. No more messing around. I just need to know if there are other void entities running around in Kuoh Town. Ajuka seriously thinks there are, and I have no idea about what void creatures there might be. I just need some good data to show him.”

“Hmm. Well, we did initially think that this was a Puppet scenario…”

“Exactly! But you’ve met Mari-chan!”

“No, I haven’t.”

“You haven’t? I thought you of all people would have gone poking.”

“Nope.” And there was a reason why. If he didn’t have to touch the void, then he wasn’t going to touch the void. At all. But now, there were certain uncertainties in the air that might once again force him to move. Ugh.

“... well, shoot. Maybe you can go talk to her? Feel her out?”

He let out a sigh. “Alright. But if she’s doing some weird stuff…”

“... I know. Void.”

That was as good of an acknowledgement as any. 

So off he went! To explore! To study! To -.

“...” he stared at the girl sitting in her home’s backyard with a dead rat laying across in front of her. 

A dead rat with black tentacles reaching up like it was mimicking seaweed. 

She stared at it with bitten lips and worried eyes. 

Then her head snapped up. 

Her eyes met his. 

He stared back with his head poking up above the backyard cinder block walls.

“... Hi?”

“I… uh…” she muttered. “Hi?” she then looked down and then looked back up. There was a definite panic to her eyes now. “T-this is a school project!” 

“A dead rat is a school project?”

She bit her lips. 

And then she paused.

Then her eyes narrowed. “... You shouldn’t be looking into someone’s backyard.”

He raised his hands in surrender. 

“And no one not ‘in the know’ should be able to see this.”

He paused. 

“Who are you?” she asked with a light growl as she stood up. Her black hair quickly became white and her clothes became a magical girl outfit. 

Uh oh. 

“Wait wait wait! I’m a friend of Serafall!” 

That made her pause.

Then she pulled out a phone and speed-dialed someone. 

“... Sera-senpai? There’s a bum looking into my backyard who says he is your friend.”

A bum?! 

“Hey, this is a style! The Unc Style!”

She gave him a deadpan stare as she listened to Serafall talk for a bit while muttering “uh huh”s. “Okay, thank you, Sera-senpai. Have a good day.” Then she ended the call. She huffed. “Okay. Fine. You’re not a stranger-danger. She also said that you’re some kind of a scientist who can help?”

‘Was that the angle you are going for, Serafall?’ “I am! Urahara Kisuke at your service! A shinigami!” 

She looked at him. “I’m… Clarinette the Envious. A magical girl. Are you like the shinigami shinigami or…?”

“Actual ‘ferry the dead to the afterlife’ shinigami! I’m kind of retired, though.” For a given definition of the word. 

She looked at him skeptically. 

“Anyways, was that your stage name! How nice.” Then he sniffed. “So … what were you doing?”

“... I was trying to make a healing spell. Or a resurrection spell. Whichever returns the body to the previous state. But whenever I do it on a dead thing, it becomes … like this.”

He looked back down at the … tentacle-seaweed lightly flailing about in the winds like they were actual seaweed underneath the waves. 

“Right,” he hummed. “So… Show me?”

Show him if she was a threat or not. Serafall’s “junior” or not, if she was, then he would do his duty to the world. 

… she seemed like a nice girl, though. 

“I did this.”

She showed him, and he used the excuse of using his own reiatsu (spiritual pressure) to “feel out” what she was doing. But as he did so, he spread his pressure out over the house, the neighborhood, and even this part of the city in a thin but wide net.

If there was a void creature lurking around her, then he would catch it. 

Like that doll that Yoruichi encountered.