My new project: 💀SKULLTENDERS💀 is out!

DAMN, folks! Where’s Jess been? Well hi, and sorry to leave everyone hanging (and extreme thank you for being cool to just… hang? For a little while? Real ones to the nth degree over here) BUT it’s time to make all y’all aware of my newest and BIGGEST project….. The one that kept my head screwed on fine after being laid off at Giant Bomb earlier this year……

Oh baby, if you’re into me because you’re:

 a horror head? 

into me for my humor? 

into me for my editing skills? 

into me for my videogaming dumbassery?

Then have I got a thing that is *incredibly adjacent or straight-up inclusive to all those things*!

💀SKULLTENDERS💀 

I’m one of the main characters in this bitchin' horror-comedy podcast! It’s an “actual play” DnD podcast… but GOOD. If you’re already familiar with Rude Tales of Magic, you know what I mean, but if you don’t, the next paragraph is for you!Yes, we’re playing DnD (5e) and rolling dice and stuff BUT- this is a tightly edited presentation of it all! It's not some boring dorks sitting silently around a table for hours doing math and pretending to be elves. It's more like a radio play! With music! And sound effects! And it’s not 5 hours long, but a tight 90! (Or 2 hours and a little tiny bit of change, that’s the upper limit currently). You’re not gonna hear boring table talk or rules-lawyering or math garbage! This is collaborative and improvisational storytelling, with the dice telling us what to do! And who’s “us”? Well, it’s a dream team of other internet dorks like me and you (pretty safe to assume you're cool like that too, since you're here on the Patreon of a big nerd)!KC Green! You know, the guy who drew This is Fine? And dickbutt? And like 50 other memes that you didn’t even realize he made? He’s a player character too!And so is Amber Carr (aka BloodBerryTart) a horror games streamer with big Elvira vibes!And the DM? Why, it’s games writer Cohen Edenfield, who you may know from many good internet jokes but the big one is probably “most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns” The person who wrote that all-timer, in charge of the fates of us three funny nerds? Folks…. That’s a recipe for a hell of a podcast.

And it’s about HELL! The story revolves around 2 cool ghosts (KC and Amber) and one neurotic dipshit slime person (me) being recruited to become Skulltenders - a taskforce of undead given Day Passes out of hell in order to hunt down necromancers and keep the mortal and immortal planes in order! It’s monster-of-the-week meets overarching campaign intrigue! A delicious combination!And HEY I’m also EDITING the dang thing in addition to doing a silly accent on a microphone! All those neat sound effects you’re hearing? I chose 'em! I put them there! All that bitchin’ music? Well, someone else made the music (Seth Boyer, who you may know from this beautiful cover song).... but I (largely) told 'em “hey, make this type of music for me!” All those deleted scenes that get chopped for time and put up on the Patreon as a little reward? Yeah! Me! I’m like a co-director, almost! I'm also doing a lot of random art stuff too (see attached pic of the goo I'm playing, Visk! Just a little art sneak peek for my Patreon sweeties!), so if you see something that doesn't look like KC Green's cartoonin' style, it's probably mine!

SO YEAH! That’s the pitch! And it’s out now! And I think you should listen to it! And hopefully subscribe to the feeds, our various social media accounts (Bluesky, Twitter, Insta, Tiktok!), or even chip into the Skulltenders Patreon, where your cash is being split between the 5 of us equally in exchange for behind-the-scenes goofs, art and music posts, in-character riffs on movies, and a whole other podcast talking about the making of the episodes! One of which is already out, alongside the two pilot episodes :)

If you feel like it, of course <3 And I understand if you wanna basically shift from this Patreon to that one, that's something all of of that have Patreons were aware could happen anyway!WELL that's the rundown! Hope you're interested! If you can't afford to throw money our way, please consider sharing the pod around or leaving a nice review! These are also extremely lovely things to do! Be well and thank you for your incredibly kind support through this crazy year! 🍔💕