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what do you think you're doing, servant? is this the first time you've ever been at the feet of royalty? you are not employed to sit there and stare, i expect you to massage these thoroughly and relentlessly.
what do you mean you haven't brought any lotion?! do you expect my soles to just lubricate themselves?! unbuckle your trousers, you worthless whelp. you'll have to get creative.