But as informative as all of this information was, what lesson would be complete without a surprise problem? “Adventurer,” the old man called out to Muur, interrupting her partway through her note taking, “Since, unlike my students, you did not write a report on one of the Hells, I have a task for you.” Flipping through a pocket notebook, he started to list various crimes, “Imagine an individual. Merchant by ‘trade’, they conspire with Void-worshipers, criminals and low lives. In their greed they deal in illegal substances, death and flesh. Bribes flow aplenty as they receive and dole out vast quantities of Gil to ensure their operation remains unseen.”
“Based on this information,” closing his book with a thud, he crossed his arms and sniffed dismissively, “Which hell are they most likely to be interned within? I shall allow you no more than three queries to help narrow your answer.”
Muur had a feeling she knew exactly who this hypothetical was about, but better to play along, “First and foremost, does this individual make his ‘business’ in person, being in the same room as Void-drunk cultists and hardened criminals, or does he hide behind a legion of proxies and bodyguards?”
For a moment, the Professor stayed silent, pondering the question with a quiet hum as he rubbed one of his eyes, “In this case… I would say that he would think himself an equal and meet with the heretics and scum directly, so certain in his own self importance that he was.”
Technically that was not cowardice, but there was more to dig into. “What is his ultimate aim, to simply get rich off of being a foul middleman to keep the bribes flowing and provide his ilk with convenient access to the ‘services’ of the cultists and criminals while keeping them in a holding pattern he thinks he can control, or to genuinely fuel their goals so as to scrabble to the top of the ruins to rule as a petty king once the chaos is through?”
“You may consider either option equally.” He slowly said after considering the question. It wasn't all he said though, because he began to rant about the ‘hypothetical’ crime lord with ever growing disdain, “His motives are as shallow as he is vapid. Greed, pure and simple, is all that occupies his thoughtless mind. He possesses no greater aspirations than that of short term indulgence and satisfaction. If asked that very question, his answer would change like quicksilver based on nothing more than whom he last spoke to, or his most recent meal.”
Muur chewed on that for a bit, before finally nodding, “I believe he is most likely to be condemned to the Hell of Water. He is hoisted on fool’s confidence, lies as easily as he breathes and is a vapid creature that holds no true convictions other than base greed. Although depending on one’s interpretation of the Hell of Ice, internment there would be fitting, as that self-same lack of conviction and abundance of self-indulgent ‘dalliances’ to everyone’s detriment that define the sinners consigned there are very much present.”
“What of the Hell of Fire? Is it not worthy of consideration?” The lecturer asked as soon as she was done. “As I have said, he bribed many, and was bribed in turn. Woulds’t that not earn him a place in the burning inferno for all eternity?”
“There is an argument for it, especially depending on one’s interpretation of ‘wrongful judgement of others’ when it comes to his delusion that he holds all the cards and has the cultists and criminals truly under his sway, I simply think the other hells I listed are a better fit as they encompass his sins more wholly.” Muur conceded with a nod. Part of it was also that she hadn’t wanted to list all the hells that remotely fit the sins, it felt against the spirit of the question even if this was more an academic debate than a quiz.
The rotund Elezen stroked his beard for a moment, “An interesting position to have in regards to the judgement of others. Most priests and priestesses adhere to the orthodoxic understanding of ‘ill judgement’, but some are known to deviate from it. With that in mind, I have a task for you… and Orliane.”
“Eh?” The teen in question was startled away from the doodles and blocks of text that were her notes, “Uhm- Yes teacher?”
Uh oh.
“Adventurer, if you wish to be allowed in further lectures, you shall write a two page report on your thoughts regarding my question.” Quickly jolting down something in his notebook, he barely looked at the two roommates as he continued, “And it shall be delivered no later than next week. As for you Orliane, you are to inform your mother that since she has seen fit to have this adventurer be part of my lecture, it is your mother's duty to ensure she receives access to the resources necessary for this endeavour.”
Phew. It wasn’t a group project, just a minor chore for Orliane to let Muur properly plumb the library and whatever else needed to compose her essay. She’d at minimum need to flip through some archived academic papers to get a firm grasp on the format and style that was considered the standard here for this kind of writing.
“Class dismissed!”
[hr][/hr]
“This is the wooooooorst!” With the end of the lecture, the students didn’t waste any time filling out of the amphitheatre and spreading across the catacombs. In other words, Muur was alone with Orliane once more… “Why’d he have to spring this on me? I just got done with my stupid paper on the Seventh Hell!”
“Is there something I’m missing? I thought all you had to do was pass the message along to your mom.” Muur asked with a quizzical tilt of her head.
“Yeah.” She said in the most teenage way possible, “And then mom’s gonna tell me to help you.”
“Hah, fair enough.” The lizard wizard chuckled, resisting the urge to pat the girl’s head. There were certain dangers to irritating (too much) someone you shared a room with.
Clearly sensing the lizard’s inner desires, the teen glared ineffectively at her before turning away with a huff, “Weird she didn’t come to pick me up though. Usually she’s always waiting by the door. I wonder what she’s doing?”
“She looked like she intended to have words with someone or multiple someones, it’s probably running long.” Muur replied with a small shrug.
“That she is~!” Poking her head around a corner was the Roegadyn that Muur had met a few days ago in the library. “She’s having a chat with our dearest Duke! She didn’t seem too pleased about the way he’s been teaching his dearest friend’s daughter… aaaand you can’t tell I’m winking to make sure you get that it’s a joke can you?”
“Eyepatches kinda get in the way of that.” Muur chuckled, before letting her concern show through as she eyed the cottony white patch over the lady’s right eye, “What happened?”
It was the woman’s turn to chuckle, although it was an eminently awkward one, “Uuuuh, promise you won’t laugh first?”
“I promise I won’t make fun of you.” Muur said, which didn’t mean she wouldn’t snort if it was silly enough
“Thanks!” Seemingly missing the implication, she didn’t even let Orliane get a word in before tapping at the eyepatch, “Since we’re all girls here, I bet you both looked at yourself in the mirror one day and thought ‘I look good, but I wish I could look better’, yeah? Well, that’s what got me to prowl the markets yesterday. There’s this merchant that sells Thavnarian beauty products, he’s got the only makeup that matches my skin colour– anyway, I went there thinking I’d get myself a few things. I was going to get some of the usual stuff I buy. But he had a whole new thing on sale, they’re these super fine beast hairs that you’re supposed to attach to your eye lids to make them look more luscious and stuff. It’s super popular amongst the nobles over there apparently… You can probably figure out how trying to put it on went.”
“Pft. Yeah, you’ll want to have a good mirror and better light to put anything on your eyes.” Muur chuckled, playfully prodding the Roegadyn on the ribs with her tail, “I can ask around the Alchemy Guild and see if anyone has something for eyelashes that’s more along the lines of a little brush you swipe to spread some colored gel over them, if you’d like? I think I heard some people going for that instead of extensions, and it should be less prone to accidents.”
The grimace on Silent Umbrage's face showed exactly what she thought of the idea, “I think I'll pass. The less things coming near my eyes for now, the better…” As a slightly awkward silence fell on the three of them, she coughed, “Soooo… why were the two of you looking for the big boss lady?”
Muur’s impulse control finally broke as she plopped her hand atop Orliane’s head, “Professor Lâdoré asked me to write up a dissertation on a hypothetical regarding the Hells, and now Orliane’s gotta pass along the message so I get access to everything I need for it.”
“Hey!” An hilarious little sound, almost like the growl of a confused and skittish cat, squeaked its way out of Orliane's throat as she tried to get away from the surprise headpat, “Don't you touch my hair!”
“Heh.” Muur sniggered, but credit where credit was due, she removed her hand from the elf’s head.
Umbrage snorted as she watched the scene unfold, “Aw look at you two. You're both adorable. But I'm sorry to say that Olfane isn't going to be available for a long while.”
“That bad, huh?” The lizard wizard asked with a wryly amused huff.
“She hasn't started pulling people by their ears, so I can only guess.” The Roegadyn answered with a shrug. “All I know is that they shuffled a bunch of clerical work onto me so they could speak in private. Speeeeeeeaking of… wanna help me? I'll help you with your paper if you do~.”
“I’ll want to look at it before committing, but sure, so long as it won’t get either of us in trouble.” Muur said with an easy shrug.
“It'll be fiiiiine.” With a wave, she tried to assuage the acolyte’s, “A merchant died yesterday and all of his assets were sei– I mean donated to the temple. Normally it's pretty routine, but since he was a suspiciously rich merchant, we need to audit his books.”
Orliane made her personal opinion on the offer known by groaning as soon as she heard the word ‘audit’. Which made Umbrage chuckle, “Aw don't he like that, it's not that bad!”
“Pft. Lemme get a look at the ledger and we’ll go from there, alright?” Muur snorted.