“…First of all…I can…return through death…But that’s…something I did as a child?”
Except for nightmares he had suffered at home (or so he thought), Subaru couldn’t recall any sensation or emotion as…terrifying as experiencing death.
The two deaths he had already experienced…made him feel truly…terrified, horrified, traumatized…
Could he have experienced that as a child?…Wouldn’t it leave him traumatized and etched in his brain for life?
“…Wait…what if…what if that were the reason I lost my memory?”
He had never considered that possibility…But perhaps that was what explained his lack of memory?
“Felix mentioned that my memories were still inside me…very, very deep and hidden…And that there was something that made his mind refuse to let those memories surface…”
Trauma…could cause something like that, right?
Subaru wasn't a philosopher, not by a long shot… But it sounded convincing that if a child, as a young boy, had suffered such a horrific experience that it left him with mental scars… his mind would decide to block all those resources in a desperate act of self-protection.
Was that… what happened to him?
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Just a small glimpse into the thoughts our beloved protagonist might be having…