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So, YouTube spent well over 24 hours processing this video, and now it is viewable and finished processing in HD.
However, it is not processed in SD. If you're wondering, no, that isn't possible. So it either needs a few more hours or it's stuck forever. So I have several more backup uploads going. But for now... This is the only god damn upload of this stupid video YouTube won't let me post. Enjoy while I try this all over again.