Something’s gotta slow her down. Right? RIGHT!?
—
Kelly slammed the back-room door open so hard that several boxes of glittery hair clips rattled on their shelves.
“Alexis,” she said, in the exact tone of voice that meant someone was about to die, “why is our best employee hissing at the mannequin rack?”
Across the room, Suvi froze halfway through unpacking a crate of ribbons. Her fluffy black cat ears twitched.
“It moved first,” she muttered.
“It did not move first,” Alexis said.
“It looked at me funny.”
Kelly slowly turned toward her younger sister.
Alexis immediately straightened up behind the register, putting on the sort of smile usually worn by people who were very aware they had done something incredibly stupid.
“Ah, well,” Alexis said, rubbing the back of her neck, “it’s a long story. In my defense, I followed the label exactly! Mostly. Kind of. There may have been a tiny, tiny unforeseen side effect.”
Kelly held up Suvi’s employee file.
“You used a product you weren’t totally sure of on Suvi?”
“It should have worked normally!” Alexis protested. “I have no idea why it didn’t!”
In the background, Suvi’s tail lazily knocked a roll of wrapping paper off the shelf.
Kelly took one step forward.
Alexis took one step back.
Kelly took another.
Alexis looked toward the door.
“You know what?” she said suddenly. “I’m remembering I have an urgent appointment.”
Kelly folded her arms.
“Do you now?”
“In another country.”
Then Alexis bolted.
“Oh no you don’t!” Kelly shouted.
The boutique exploded into chaos.
Alexis vaulted over the front counter in one smooth motion.
Kelly, too angry to think of doing the same thing, ran around it instead.
“Get back here!” she yelled.
“You say that like you have a plan after catching me!” Alexis called over her shoulder.
“I do!” Kelly snapped. “It mostly involves yelling!”
Alexis ducked through a rack of evening dresses.
Kelly charged after her and immediately got tangled in three sequined gowns and what appeared to be an aggressively feathery shawl.
She burst out the other side of the rack looking even angrier than before.
Alexis darted around a spinning accessory display. Kelly followed too close, got smacked in the face by six handbags and a scarf, spun around with the display three full times, then staggered off in entirely the wrong direction.
She skidded to a halt.
Alexis was standing five feet away.
The two sisters stared at each other.
Then they both screamed and started running again.
Alexis barreled through the changing room curtain.
There was a yelp from inside.
“Sorry!” Alexis called.
She emerged from the other side somehow wearing a bright pink feather boa around her neck.
Kelly tore through the curtain after her.
“Why are you wearing that?!”
“I don’t know! I panicked!”
Alexis sprinted past the accessories aisle, glanced behind her, and saw Kelly gaining.
“Okay, okay, think, Alexis, think—”
Her hand closed around the nearest object she could find.
Without even looking at it, she hurled it over her shoulder.
The black cat-ear headband sailed neatly through the air.
It landed squarely on Kelly’s head.
Everything stopped.
Alexis stopped running.
Kelly stopped running.
Even Suvi, peeking around the corner from the back room, stopped licking her paw.
Kelly slowly reached up toward the headband.
“...Alexis?”
There was a tiny magical snap.
The plastic band melted into Kelly’s hair.
Her normal ears flattened abruptly, vanishing beneath her orange hair.
Then, with a soft push, two furry black cat ears rose from the top of her head, then quickly adjusted their color to match the orange of Kelly's hair.
Kelly’s eyes widened.
The new ears twitched.
Then they twitched again.
They grew larger, fluffier, more obviously real by the second, poking proudly through her hair.
Kelly slapped both hands over them.
“Hey Alexis.”
“Yes?” Alexis said, taking one careful step backward.
“Why do I have cat ears now too?” Kelly asks, her smile as fake as it can get.
“What a fascinating question.” Alexis said, looking another way. “I wonder if we ever find out…”
Kellys new ears flattened angrily.
Then she jerked as something pressed insistently against the back of her skirt.
Riiip.
A sleek black tail burst out through the fabric behind her.
Kelly froze.
The tail gave one long, graceful swish.
Then another.
Then it curled smugly around one of her legs.
Kelly slowly looked over her shoulder.
“Oh, come on.”
She grabbed the tail in both hands.
The tail immediately wriggled out of her grip and lashed back and forth irritably.
Her new ears twitched again.
Kelly tried to continue glaring at Alexis, but every few seconds one of the ears flicked and made her expression briefly crumple into startled confusion.
From the hallway, Suvi poked her head out.
“Oh wow,” she said. “You too?”
Kelly pointed accusingly at Alexis.
“Why is it always catgirls with you lately?!”
“In my defense,” Alexis said quickly, “I didn’t know it was a cat-ear hairband!”
Kelly stared at her.
“It has cat ears on it!”
“Aesthetic cat ears!” Alexis said. “There’s a difference!”
Kelly’s tail lashed hard enough to knock over a display of bracelets.
Her ears flattened.
She took one slow step forward.
“Alexis,” she said.
Alexis immediately turned and ran.
Kelly pointed after her.
“RUN?!”
Kelly lunged after her.
This time, however, she immediately overshot.
With her new strength in her legs she sprang far harder than she expected, sending her sailing clean over an entire jewelry display.
She crashed onto the top of the front counter, skidded across it on her stomach, knocked over three hat stands and somehow landed on her feet.
There was a beat.
Kelly blinked.
Her tail puffed up.
“Oh no,” Alexis said, horrified. “You got faster.”
Kelly’s new ears perked up.
Then she smiled.
“Oh, I am going to enjoy this.”
Alexis yelped and sprinted away again.
The second chase was somehow even worse.
Alexis darted between clothing racks while Kelly bounded after her with impossible catlike agility. She leapt over couches, sprang off display tables and ricocheted off a wall hard enough to change direction in midair.
“Since when can you do parkour?!” Alexis shouted.
“Since about ten seconds ago!” Kelly yelled back.
Alexis shoved an entire rolling rack of dresses into her path.
Kelly hit it…
…and instead of stopping, she vaulted over it in a graceful arc.
She landed on top of another display with one hand, one knee, and entirely too much style.
There was an awkward pause.
“...Did I just pose?” Kelly asked.
“Yes!” Alexis shouted. “Very dramatically!”
“I love my job!”
She sprang again.
Alexis rounded the cosmetics aisle.
Kelly followed so closely that her tail whipped several boxes off the shelf.
Then Kelly abruptly froze.
At the end of the aisle was a tiny rotating display of novelty laser pointers.
A little red dot flicked across the floor.
Kelly’s ears stood straight up.
Her eyes locked onto it.
“No,” she said.
The dot moved.
Kelly’s head turned with it.
“No.”
The dot zipped up the wall.
Before she could stop herself, Kelly pounced.
She hit the wall, slid down it, landed in a heap of scarves, and immediately stood back up bright red.
Alexis was doubled over laughing.
“You chased it!”
“I did not!” Kelly snapped.
“You absolutely did!”
“I was attacking it strategically!”
“Sure you were!”
Kelly hissed.
Then she blinked.
There was another horrified pause.
“Did I just hiss?!”
Alexis immediately started running again.
Kelly tore through a rack of scarves after her, leaving a trail of floating silk in her wake.
“GET BACK HERE!”
Alexis skidded around the corner into the costume section, breathing hard.
“Okay, okay, think! What slows down an angry catgirl?”
Her hand landed on a glossy black package.
The label read:
“SHADOW SIREN TACTICAL NYLON SUIT – FOR STYLISH AND SEXY ESPIONAGE!”
Alexis gasped.
“When did we get this…?”
“STAY RIGHT THERE!” Kelly yelled, pouncing again at Alexis right then and there.
Then, because she had no better ideas, she threw it.
The package smacked Kelly right in the chest.
For one second, nothing happened.
Then the package exploded into a cloud of black silk and shimmering magic.
Kelly stumbled backward.
“What now—?!”
The material wrapped around her legs first.
Glossy black fabric flowed over her calves and thighs like liquid, swallowing her clothes as it climbed.
Her skirt vanished beneath the sleek new material.
Her blouse dissolved next.
The suit flowed tightly over her hips and waist, molding itself to every curve before climbing higher.
Kelly let out an indignant squeak as the black material sealed around her torso.
The finished outfit was absurd.
The shiny black suit clung to her like a second skin, skin-tight from neck to ankle. A dramatic cutout framed the center of her chest, plunging low enough to make her stare in disbelief. Her shoulders and arms were left bare, despite you probably believing that gloves were part of this outfit at some point, but were scrapped in an effort to show more skin.
As if that wasn’t enough, sleek black straps wrapped around her thighs, leaving much of them exposed.
“Oh?” Kelly squealed. “Now it's getting interesting.”
Then her shoes vanished.
In their place, black stiletto boots formed around her feet.
The heels kept rising.
And rising.
And rising.
They climbed over her knees in a glossy black sweep, impossibly high and impossibly thin.
Kelly wobbled.
Her arms pinwheeled.
For one glorious moment, it looked like she was going to fall over.
Then somehow, impossibly, she straightened.
She struck a pose.
One hip cocked. One hand on the wall. Tail swishing behind her.
There was a long silence.
Alexis lowered her hands.
“...Wow.”
Kelly turned slowly toward the nearest mirror.
She stared at herself.
The cat ears. The tail. The absurdly skintight black suit with hella midriff. And of course, the towering boots.
“I have never,” Kelly said slowly, “seen a spy outfit this impractical in my life.”
Alexis pointed at her.
“It appears that it’s not nylon anymore.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes.
“Huh?”
Alexis grinned despite herself.
“It’s nya-lyon.”
There was one full second of silence.
Kelly’s eye twitched.
“I am going to throw you into the clearance bin.”
Then she took a step forward.
The heels clicked sharply against the floor.
Kelly paused.
Then she took another.
Click.
Click.
Her tail swayed.
She smirked despite herself. “Oh, these are awesome.”
“Oh no,” Alexis whispered.
Kelly smiled.
Then she broke into a sprint in impossible heels like she had been born in them.
Alexis screamed and ran.
Kelly came after her like an action movie that had completely lost control of its budget.
The stiletto heels clicked wildly across the floor as she sprinted through the boutique with impossible grace. Somehow, the ridiculous boots only made her faster.
“Why are those helping?!” Alexis shrieked, diving over a display of scarves.
“I don’t know!” Kelly shouted back. “But I am furious about how much I like them!”
She slid across the polished floor on one knee, one hand braced against the ground, tail lashing behind her.
There was an absurdly dramatic squeal of rubber against tile.
Kelly came to a stop directly in front of Alexis.
The two sisters stared at each other.
Kelly slowly rose to her feet.
“Nowhere left to ru—”
Alexis yelped and threw herself sideways through a rack of hanging scarves.
Kelly growled and charged after her.
The scarves wrapped around her for a second like colorful streamers.
Then she somehow used one of them to swing around an entire aisle display.
She landed in a crouch on top of a counter.
“Since when can you do THAT?!” Alexis cried.
“Since apparently this stupid outfit came with downloadable content!” Kelly snapped.
Alexis sprinted through the mannequin section.
Kelly followed.
A mannequin in a ball gown tipped over in front of her.
Without even thinking, Kelly spun.
Her heel whipped around in a perfect, elegant kick.
The mannequin exploded into six pieces.
The head flew through the air.
It landed on another mannequin.
Everyone stopped for a second.
Kelly slowly lowered her leg.
“...Did I just do a spinning kick?”
Alexis pointed at the destroyed mannequin.
“You roundhouse-kicked Cheryl!”
“Who is Cheryl?!”
“The mannequin by the changing rooms! We’ve had her for years!”
“I DIDN’T KNOW SHE HAD A NAME!”
Then Kelly lunged again.
Alexis screamed and ducked behind the stock shelves.
Kelly leapt clean over them.
Her boots clicked once on the top shelf.
Then she launched herself off it like a gymnast.
Alexis looked up just in time to see Kelly flying toward her.
“AAAAAH!”
Alexis grabbed the nearest thing she could reach.
It was a squat glass bottle with a bright orange label.
Kelly landed in front of her.
Alexis threw the bottle directly into her face, barely having time to read it.
As far as she could tell, the front read:
“WAN-TING’S EMERGENCY EMPLOYEE LIFTING TONIC – FOR WHEN FURNITURE REFUSES TO COOPERATE.”
Alexis blinked.
The bottle shattered.
Bright orange liquid splashed all over Kelly’s chest, arms and exposed stomach.
Kelly froze.
There was a low rumble.
Then her entire body started vibrating.
“Oh no,” Kelly said. “Was that… one of Wan-Tings… potions? Ah~”
Her shoulders jerked wider.
The black suit stretched audibly.
Her upper arms swelled first, firm muscle pushing outward beneath the glossy material. Then they kept growing.
And growing.
Kelly stared as her biceps inflated until they bulged even while her arms hung at her sides.
“Alexis?” she said.
“Yes?”
“Why are my arms doing that? What was in that vial?”
“I think they’re… uhm… I think that potion was meant to help us move heavy stuff around.” Alexis offered.
Kelly’s forearms thickened next. Muscle rolled beneath her skin in smooth, sharply defined lines.
“Alexis.”
“I got it from Wan-Ting as a gift, okay?!”
Then Kelly’s shoulders broadened again.
The motion pulled the skintight suit tighter across her chest and torso.
Her stomach clenched.
Six sharply defined abs pushed into view beneath the glossy black fabric.
Then bigger. Then even harder.
Kelly looked down.
“Oh, come on!”
Her thighs thickened with a sudden surge, becoming larger, heavier, more powerfully defined. The straps around them stretched tight as her legs became absurdly muscular.
The floor creaked.
Kelly’s tail puffed up to twice its size.
Her cat ears flattened in alarm.
The transformation still wasn’t done.
Her back straightened.
Her muscles swelled one more time.
Her biceps peaked into impossible curves. Thick definition spread across her shoulders, down her arms, over her stomach and legs.
By the end of it, Kelly looked less like an angry boutique owner and more like an absurdly glamorous spy-catgirl who could bench-press a truck.
The boutique was silent.
Kelly slowly flexed one arm.
The muscle jumped.
One of the nearby shelves almost collapsed from the gust of wind alone.
“...Well,” Kelly said after a moment, “I’m not sure how I feel about becoming a female Arnold.”
Alexis stared.
“You look kind of amazing actually.”
Kelly slowly turned her head.
“Alexis.”
“Right,” Alexis said quickly. “Serious moment. Sorry.”
Kelly looked down at herself again.
The cat ears. The tail. The absurd spy suit. The towering heels.
Now the enormous muscles.
She flexed by accident.
The sheer aura of her presence almost knocked Alexis off her feet.
Kelly blinked.
“Also,” she said, cracking her knuckles, “making me buffer than a construction vehicle may not have been your best idea while you are actively running away from me.”
The crack echoed through the entire boutique.
A light fixture fell from the ceiling.
Alexis looked up at it.
Then back at Kelly.
“...That is a completely fair point.”
Kelly smiled.
It was not a comforting smile.
Alexis turned and ran.
Kelly took one step after her.
CRUNCH.
Her heel punched straight through the tile floor.
Kelly looked down.
There was a pause.
Then she yanked her foot free and kept running.
The entire boutique shook.
Alexis fled through the front of the boutique with all the dignity of a cartoon character running from a freight train.
Behind her came Kelly.
CRASH.
One of Kelly’s footsteps punched through a display platform.
CRUNCH.
Another heel shattered a floor tile.
The absurdly high boots somehow still clicked elegantly between impacts.
“HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING IN THOSE?!” Alexis shrieked.
“I DON’T KNOW!” Kelly roared back. “BUT APPARENTLY THEY HAVE SHOCK ABSORBERS!”
She barreled straight through a rack of dresses instead of going around it.
A storm of silk and sequins exploded into the air behind her.
Kelly emerged from the other side without even slowing down, cat tail lashing, ears flat, muscles bulging dramatically beneath the skintight black suit.
Alexis darted through the employee hallway.
Kelly followed.
Alexis slammed the stockroom door shut behind her.
There was a single second of silence.
Then Kelly walked through it.
Not opened.
Through.
The door burst inward around her in a shower of splinters.
Kelly stepped out of the ruined doorway still holding the doorknob.
She blinked at it.
“...Oops.”
Then she threw it aside and kept coming.
“Now this is just plain unfair!” Alexis wailed.
“You are not helping yourself!” Kelly shouted.
Alexis rounded the corner into the makeup section.
She slipped.
Her feet flew out from under her.
She landed on the floor with a squeak.
Before she could get back up, Kelly loomed over her.
One hand slammed against the shelf beside Alexis’s head.
The entire shelf bent.
Alexis slowly looked up.
Kelly’s shadow fell over her.
The giant cat ears twitched, while her tail lashed behind her.
The glossy black suit creaked softly over all that ridiculous muscle.
“Well,” Kelly said, smiling far too pleasantly, “this has been educational.”
Alexis laughed nervously.
“Listen, before you do anything hasty—”
Kelly grabbed her by the wrist.
“Alexis.”
“Kelly.”
“Alexis.”
“Kelly.”
“Alexis.”
“...Okay this is fair.”
Still pinned, Alexis reached blindly toward the nearest shelf.
Her fingers brushed across lipsticks, powders, enchanted blushes and something labeled ‘Emergency Princess Sparkles.’. Something about ‘Ojou-sama edition’ or something.
Then her hand closed around a heavy little makeup compact trimmed in gold.
Alexis stared at it.
“Oh, absolutely not.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes.
“What are you—”
Alexis smacked the compact directly into Kelly’s face.
The compact snapped open.
A cloud of glittering pink and gold powder exploded around Kelly.
For a moment, all anyone could see was sparkling smoke.
Then Kelly stiffened.
“Oh no,” Alexis whispered.
Kelly’s posture changed first.
Her shoulders rolled back.
Her spine straightened.
Even with all the absurd muscle, she somehow looked instantly more elegant.
Then her face began to change.
The last traces of irritation melted away into cool, composed superiority.
Her makeup appeared in a shimmer across her face: dark lashes, perfectly lined eyes, glossy lips, immaculate blush.
Her skin became impossibly smooth and flawless.
Kelly blinked.
Then her hair began to grow.
The orange strands spilled down her back.
Longer.
Longer.
Past her waist.
Past her hips.
Then the growing hair twisted.
It curled.
Two enormous drill curls formed on either side of her head, spiraling larger and larger as the rest of her hair spilled behind her in luxurious waves.
The drills kept growing until they bounced against her thighs.
Kelly stared as one of them coiled around her arm.
“...Oh my goodness.”
Her cat ears poked up through the top of the hairstyle somehow completely unharmed.
The absurd combination should not have worked.
It worked perfectly.
Kelly slowly lifted one hand to her cheek.
Even her nails had become immaculate.
Alexis was still trapped in her grip.
Kelly had not loosened her hold even once.
In fact, she seemed to be holding Alexis more delicately now.
Which was somehow much scarier.
Kelly slowly opened her eyes.
“You,” she said in a voice suddenly rich, elegant and terrifyingly composed, “are in very serious trouble, young lady.”
Alexis gulped.
“Before anything else,” she said quickly, “can I just say one thing?”
Kelly tilted her head.
“You may.”
Alexis looked her up and down.
The cat ears.
The tail.
The ridiculous spy suit.
The towering heels.
The impossible muscles.
The endless drill curls.
“You look like you selected ‘all of the above.’”
Kelly paused.
Then, very slowly, she turned toward the nearby mirror.
There was a long silence.
Kelly looked herself over from head to toe.
Then one of her giant drill curls flipped elegantly over her shoulder.
A smile spread across her face.
“And I look fabulous doing it,” she said.
She covered her mouth with one hand.
“Ohohohohohohoho~!”
The laugh echoed through the entire boutique.
Alexis whimpered.
Kelly leaned down slightly, still smiling.
“Now then,” she purred, “it is pun-ish-ment time~”
…
And for the rest of the evening, if you listen really closely, you could hear the faint sounds of Alexis squealing in despair… as well as moaning in pleasure.
It could really be either… or both at the same time.