Lesson 1: Just do nothing for now. A big part about being a goddess is being able to watch humans as they… where are you going?
—
The city glittered far below, all yellow windows and red brake lights beneath the darkening evening sky.
Diana stood on the edge of a rooftop with her hands clasped behind her back, trying very hard to look dignified.
It was not working.
She kept bouncing on her heels.
"So what do I do first?" she asked for what was probably the eighth time in ten minutes. "Do I save somebody from a burning building? Or help somebody find true love? Or stop a mugging? I could do a mugging!"
Beside her, Nagisa leaned lazily against the concrete ledge with all the patience of someone who had lived long enough to stop being surprised by anything.
"You," Nagisa said, "are going to do absolutely nothing."
Diana froze.
"...What?"
"Today is observation." Nagisa gestured vaguely toward the city below. "You watch. You listen. You keep your hands to yourself."
Diana stared at her mentor in horror.
"But I'm the goddess of second chances!"
"Rookie goddess of second chances," Nagisa corrected.
"Still! If somebody needs help, I should help them!"
Nagisa sighed, though there was the faintest hint of amusement at the corner of her mouth.
"No. If somebody spills their coffee, that does not mean you magically make them a new cup. If somebody gets in an argument, that does not mean you rewrite their memories so they get along. Mortals solve most of their own problems just fine."
"But what if they don't?"
"Then sometimes they learn from it."
Diana frowned and looked out over the city.
Down below, she could see tiny little pieces of people's lives. A man rushing after a bus. Two women laughing outside a cafe. Somebody crying alone on a bench.
Every one of them looked like they needed something.
She could help all of them.
She wanted to help all of them.
Nagisa watched her expression and, annoyingly, immediately knew what she was thinking.
"And that," she said, tapping Diana lightly on the forehead, "is exactly why you're here."
Diana rubbed her forehead with an offended little pout.
"You're impossible."
"Hey, you were the one who wanted my help, not the other way around."
Nagisa straightened, smoothing down the sleeves of her dark dress.
"Listen carefully, Diana. Self-control is part of kindness. If you can't stop yourself from interfering, you'll create worse problems than the ones you were trying to fix."
"I wouldn't!"
Nagisa gave her a long look.
Diana tried to look innocent.
She failed.
"Right," Nagisa said dryly. "Do what you think is right. I have to check on something a few blocks away. I would recommend that you stay here. Doing some good old fashion observing. You know?"
Diana crossed her arms.
"I know."
Nagisa smirked.
"Awesome. Be back in a jiffy."
Then, in the blink of an eye, she vanished into a swirl of black mist.
The rooftop suddenly felt very quiet.
Diana stood there for all of three seconds.
Then she began pacing.
"Okay," she muttered to herself. "I can do this. I'm observing. Totally observing. No helping. No divine intervention. Just... watching."
A car horn blared somewhere below.
Diana looked.
A minute later, an ambulance sped through an intersection.
Diana looked at that too.
"I bet I could have helped with that," she whispered.
She sat on the ledge.
Then stood up again.
Then sat down.
Then leaned over the edge so far she nearly toppled off the building.
"How does Nagisa do this?" she groaned.
Then the sound of distant sirens cut through the city.
Not one.
Several.
Police.
Diana blinked.
Far below, three police cars tore around a corner.
Ahead of them, sprinting down the sidewalk with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, was a rough-looking man in a torn jacket.
He shoved through the crowd, darted into an alley, and vanished from sight.
Diana's eyes widened.
A robbery.
A real robbery.
Somebody needed help.
She stared in the direction of the alley.
Then she looked back at the empty spot where Nagisa had been.
"...That probably doesn't count," Diana said.
She hesitated.
"I mean, this is exactly the sort of thing a goddess of second chances is supposed to do."
The police sirens echoed again.
Diana bit her lip.
Then, with a burst of golden light, she vanished from the rooftop and headed straight for the alley.
She reappeared behind a dumpster at the far end of the alley just in time to see the man stagger to a stop.
Phil dropped the duffel bag beside him and braced his hands on his knees, breathing hard.
He looked even rougher up close.
His jacket was old and torn at one sleeve. There was stubble on his face, old bruises on his knuckles, and the sort of permanent scowl people got when life had spent years hitting them first.
"Okay," he muttered to himself between breaths. "Okay. Lose the cops, ditch the car, keep moving..."
Diana peeked around the dumpster.
He did not look evil.
That was somehow worse.
He just looked tired.
Diana pressed two fingers lightly to her temple.
Just a little look, she told herself.
If she understood why he did this, she could help him properly.
A faint golden shimmer spread across her eyes.
And suddenly she saw.
A tiny apartment.
An empty fridge.
A boy sitting alone on a couch while another foster family argued in the next room about whether they really wanted to keep him.
The same boy, older, sitting on the curb with a garbage bag full of clothes.
A teenager getting into fights because it was easier to be angry than hurt.
A young man learning how to steal because nobody had ever taught him how to do anything else.
Years and years of empty rooms.
Nobody waiting for him.
Nobody caring if he came home.
Then, buried deep under all that bitterness, Diana caught one last thought.
Not a memory, but a wish.
If somebody had just wanted him.
If he'd had a family.
If he'd had something to lose.
Maybe he wouldn't have become this.
Diana's eyes snapped open.
Her heart squeezed.
"Oh," she whispered.
This wasn't some terrible criminal mastermind.
This was exactly the kind of person she was supposed to help.
Nagisa's warning drifted back through her mind.
Do not do anything while I'm gone.
Diana looked at Phil.
Then at the police lights flickering at the far end of the alley.
Then back at Phil.
"Nope," she decided. "I am absolutely not staying passive about this."
She stepped out from behind the dumpster and tried her best to stand dramatically.
"You don't have to keep living like this!" she announced.
Phil jumped so hard he nearly tripped over the duffel bag.
"What the—?!"
He spun toward her.
Diana threw one hand out importantly.
"Fear not! I am Diana, goddess of second chances!"
There was a long pause.
Phil stared at her.
"...You're a what?"
"A goddess!"
"Right." He pointed vaguely at her with one finger. "And I'm the king of France."
"France doesn't have a king anymore."
"Lady, I just robbed a bank. I do not have time for this."
Phil grabbed the duffel bag and tried to push past her.
Diana quickly stepped in front of him again.
"Wait! I know why you did it!"
"Because I wanted money?"
"No! Well. Yes. But also because you're lonely and sad and have unresolved abandonment issues!"
Phil stopped.
Slowly, he turned to look at her.
"You what now?"
Diana pointed accusingly.
"You grew up without a family and now you think nobody could ever care about you so you've decided to become a criminal because it's easier than being hurt again!"
Phil stared at her in complete silence.
"...Lady," he said at last, "that is either incredibly specific or the weirdest pickup line I've ever heard."
"It's not a pickup line! I'm helping!"
"By psychoanalyzing me in an alley?"
"Yes!"
"You're bad at it!"
The police sirens were getting louder.
Diana glanced toward the mouth of the alley and panicked.
She was running out of time.
"Look," she said quickly, "you don't have to do this anymore! I can fix everything! I can give you a second chance!"
Phil barked out a laugh.
"Oh yeah? You gonna erase my criminal record? Make the cops forget I exist?"
"Well, maybe not exactly—"
"Then what?"
Diana opened her mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened it again.
"I can solve your family problem!"
Phil blinked.
"My what?"
"Your family problem! That's the real issue!"
"I don't have a family problem. I have a police problem."
"No, you have both!"
Phil rubbed his face.
"Okay. Fine. Sure. Enlighten me. How exactly are you gonna fix my family problem?"
Diana smiled brightly, relieved to finally be getting somewhere.
"I'll give you a family!"
There was another long silence.
"...You are insane," Phil said.
"I'm not!"
"What are you even gonna do? Magically give me a wife and kids or something?"
"I mean..."
"Or are you about to tell me you're so desperate to help that you've decided to be my girlfriend yourself?"
Diana froze.
Because she had not actually thought that far.
Phil noticed.
"Oh my god," he said. "You don't even have a plan."
"I do too!"
"No you don't!"
"I just need... one second!"
The red and blue lights were close now.
Somewhere nearby, a police officer shouted.
Phil took a step back.
Diana panicked.
She threw both hands out.
"Okay! Fine! I'm giving you a family! Right now!"
Golden light burst from her fingertips.
"Wait, what?!" Phil yelped.
Diana squeezed her eyes shut and desperately tried to think of the right words.
"Uh... let this man quickly grow a family so big that he has to become happy!"
For one terrible moment, nothing happened.
Then the magic answered.
The alley flashed gold.
Phil staggered backward.
"Okay, nope! Nope, absolutely no—"
The first pulse hit.
He doubled over with a strangled gasp.
His shoulders narrowed. The hard angles of his face softened. His stubble vanished. His chest tightened, then swelled beneath his jacket with an alarming suddenness.
"Wh-what the hell?!" he shouted.
His voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, dropping into a startled, distinctly feminine tone.
Phil slapped both hands over his mouth.
Then immediately looked down.
"No no no no no—"
His jacket strained around a suddenly curvier body. His hips widened. His waist pulled inward. The rough, broad shape of him melted away into that of a tall, strong-looking woman.
The duffel bag slipped from suddenly slimmer fingers and hit the ground.
Phil stared at herself.
Then slowly looked up at Diana.
"You turned me into a chick!"
"Only a little!" Diana said.
"ONLY A LITTLE?!"
The second pulse struck before either of them could say anything else.
Green light rushed over Phil's body.
She cried out as her skin shifted color, paling, then deepening into soft shades of green. Fine lines spread across her arms and stomach like curling vines beneath the surface.
Leaves sprouted from her hair.
"What is happening to my hair?!"
The dark, messy strands lengthened wildly, tangling together with vines and blooming flowers until a cascade of roses and leaves spilled down her back.
Her fingertips sharpened into thorn-like nails.
Vines curled around her legs.
Then, with a loud crack, the pavement beneath her split apart.
"Ah!"
Roots burst through the alley floor.
A huge flower unfurled around her hips, thick petals spreading outward like a living throne. Her legs sank into the center of it up to her thighs, fusing with the flower as roots anchored her into the ground.
Phil grabbed uselessly at the giant bloom around her waist.
"Why am I a plant?!" she shouted.
Her body was changing faster now.
The green of her skin deepened into something wholly unnatural. Her clothes split as leaves and flowering vines crept over her body, weaving themselves into a living dress.
Diana took a horrified step back.
"Oh no."
Phil whirled toward her as much as the flower around her hips would allow.
"Oh no?! What do you mean, oh no?! Weren't you the one who-"
Then came the third pulse.
This one was bigger.
The entire alley shook.
The giant flower beneath Phil exploded outward.
Petals the size of blankets unfurled around her. Roots tore through the pavement and cracked the brick walls on either side of the alley.
Phil gasped as her body surged upward.
She grew.
And grew.
And kept growing.
Within seconds she towered over the alley, three, then four times taller than a normal person. Her new body stretched into something impossibly lush and mature.
Her hips widened enormously, the huge flower around her lower body swelling with them until it looked less like she was trapped in it and more like she sat upon a vast blossom throne.
Her rear and thighs became massively plush and heavy, disappearing into layers of enormous petals and vines.
Her chest swelled next, becoming outrageously huge beneath the living bodice of leaves and flowers wrapped around her torso.
Every movement made petals rustle and vines sway.
More flowers bloomed in her hair.
Long flower-tentacles spilled from the giant blossom at her waist, swaying through the alley like the limbs of some enormous floral queen.
And through all of it, something changed in her expression.
The panic and fury remained.
But beneath it, Diana saw something new blooming.
An overwhelming, instinctive certainty.
Warm.
Protective.
Possessive.
The sort of feeling that said these people are mine.
Phil put one enormous hand against the alley wall to steady herself.
"I..." she began weakly.
Then her eyes widened.
The police had reached the alley.
Three officers skidded to a stop at the entrance.
All of them froze.
There was a long, stunned silence.
One of them slowly lowered his gun.
"...What the hell is that?"
The one that used to be Phil turned toward them.
For just a second, her old expression returned.
Maybe furious. Slightly betrayed. Definitly in a panicked.
Then her new instincts surged through her.
The tentacles around her flower-throne curled eagerly.
And somewhere deep inside her mind, one thought rose above all the others.
Mine.
One of the flower-tentacles snapped forward.
"Freeze!" one of the officers shouted, raising his gun.
The end of the tentacle opened as it flew, unfolding into a huge crimson flower.
Before the officer could react, the blossom clamped shut around his waist.
"What the—HEY!"
The officer fired once into the air as the tentacle yanked him off his feet.
He kicked and struggled wildly.
"Put me down! Put me down!"
The gigantic queen moved almost absently, as though she were following instincts she did not entirely understand herself.
The tentacle lowered him into a crack in the pavement beside her.
Roots and vines surged up around him.
Then the flower around his waist buried itself into the ground.
"No no no no—!"
The officer clawed at the petals.
Too late.
The flower tightened.
His legs vanished first.
The lower half of his body melted into the blossom around his waist, flesh softening into green stems and curling vines. He let out a choked cry as roots spread down into the earth beneath him.
"You fiend!" he shouted up at the giant alraune queen.
The queen flinched.
For a second, Diana thought she looked hurt.
Then the transformation continued.
The officer's body shrank.
His broad shoulders narrowed. His face softened. His uniform hung loosely for a moment before leaves and flowers spread over it, weaving themselves into a little dress of petals.
His voice cracked.
"W-wait... what..."
He was getting younger.
Within seconds, the officer had become a frightened-looking teenage girl, still half-rooted in the flower.
She looked up at the towering queen with wide eyes.
The anger in them wavered.
The vines crept higher.
Green spread across her skin.
Flowers bloomed through her hair.
A second blossom unfurled beneath her as her lower body finished merging with the plant.
Her hands became delicate and green. Little leaves sprouted along her arms.
The frightened girl trembled.
"Q-queen..." she whispered.
The queen's huge flower-tentacles curled happily.
And the last of the transformation took hold.
The girl's expression softened completely.
The fear disappeared.
So did the anger.
She smiled.
"Mother Phelia," she said softly.
The queen blinked.
Phelia.
The name settled into her mind as naturally as if it had always been there.
Not Phil.
Phelia.
And somehow, hearing one of her daughters say it filled her with a strange, warm happiness.
"My sweet little flower," Phelia murmured.
Diana stared.
"Oh no. Oh no no no no no."
The other police officers finally snapped out of their shock.
"Get her!" one shouted.
Several more flower-tentacles lashed out at once.
Huge blossoms snapped shut around waists and legs.
The officers shouted and struggled as they were dragged down into the cracked pavement around Phelia's enormous flower-throne.
One by one, they were planted.
One by one, roots spread.
One by one, uniforms split apart beneath vines and flowers.
Within moments, the alley was full of frightened cries, cracking pavement, and blooming flowers.
Then those cries became softer.
Higher.
Confused.
Then affectionate.
A dozen young alraune girls clustered around the base of the queen's enormous blossom.
Some had flowers in their hair.
Some had leafy little dresses.
Some still clung shyly to their mother's vines.
All of them looked up at Phelia with wide, adoring eyes.
"Mother!"
"Mother Phelia!"
"Mama, look!"
Phelia looked down at them.
She had thought Phelia might be more angry with her for all she has done.
Instead, the giant queen only looked... confusedly happy.
Her enormous chest rose and fell slowly.
Her flower-tentacles curled protectively around the little alraunes.
The hard bitterness that had been on Phil's face was simply... gone.
She looked dazed.
And deeply, genuinely pleased.
"They're... mine," she whispered.
One of the little alraunes hugged the side of her blossom.
"We love you, Mother Phelia!"
Phelia let out a soft, breathless laugh.
Then she looked up.
At Diana.
The rookie goddess froze.
For a second, Phelia simply smiled at her.
Warm.
Radiant.
"Thank you," she said.
Diana stared.
"...You're welcome?"
Then another flower-tentacle shot toward her.
"Wait WHAT?!"
—
By the time Nagisa returned, the alley was gone.
In its place stood a garden.
Flowers climbed the walls of the surrounding buildings. Vines hung from rooftops. The cracked pavement had disappeared beneath roots and soft green moss.
And in the center of it all sat Phelia.
The gigantic alraune queen rested upon her enormous blossom-throne like she had always belonged there. Dozens upon dozens of little alraune girls clustered around her roots and petals.
Some were playing in the flowers.
Some were curled up sleepily against her vines.
Some were proudly bringing her gifts—coins from the dropped duffel bag, shiny rocks, little bouquets.
And one of them sat right at the foot of the throne.
Diana.
Or at least, mostly Diana.
She still had her golden hair. Still had the same face.
But now flowers bloomed through her hair, little leaves curled along her arms, and from the waist down she was rooted into a pretty pink blossom of her own.
Her dress had become a tangle of petals and vines.
She looked up at Phelia with huge, adoring eyes.
And every few seconds, she had to fight the overwhelming urge to scoot closer, smile, and be praised for being a good girl.
It was awful.
Diana hated it.
Diana also really, really wanted Phelia to pat her on the head.
"No," she whispered to herself.
Then Phelia's massive hand gently stroked through her hair.
"Such a sweet little flower," the queen said warmly.
Diana made an embarrassing little noise and immediately leaned into the touch.
"Th-thank you, Mother," she mumbled.
Then she slapped both hands over her mouth in horror.
A voice behind her snorted.
"Oh, this is even better than I imagined."
Diana spun.
Nagisa stood at the edge of the garden with one hand over her mouth, shoulders shaking.
Then she lost the battle completely.
She burst out laughing.
Not a polite laugh.
Not even a mean laugh.
The sort of helpless, breathless laugh of someone who had just found exactly what they expected and somehow it was still funnier than they had imagined.
"I leave you alone for twenty minutes," Nagisa gasped between laughs, "and you create a floral hive monarchy!"
Diana's face went bright red.
"Nagisa!"
She tried to stand.
Her roots held her in place.
"Nagisa, please fix this!"
Nagisa took one look at Diana trying and failing to stand because she was literally planted in the ground and laughed even harder.
"Oh, absolutely not."
"What do you mean, absolutely not?!"
Nagisa wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
"I mean this is your fault." She pointed toward the enormous queen. "You ignored my advice. So how is this my problem? Besides..."
Phelia smiled proudly.
Several little alraunes waved.
"We're a family!" one chirped.
"They look happy to have you!" Nagisa said. "And exceptionally adorable."
"That is not the point!"
Diana lowered her voice.
"Also they are kind of adorable, but that's not the point either!"
Phelia's expression softened.
She lowered one enormous flower-tentacle and gently nuzzled Diana with it.
"You made me happy," she said quietly.
For a moment, Diana faltered.
Phelia really did look happy.
Confused, overwhelmed, deeply strange happiness, but still happier than Phil had ever looked in any of the memories Diana had seen.
Then one of the smaller alraunes hugged Diana from behind.
"Big sister Diana is part of the family too!"
Diana squeaked.
Nagisa grinned.
"Tell you what," she said. "You are going to stay like this for a week."
"A WEEK?!"
"It's still your mess, you know? So you be the one to clean it up."
"How am I supposed to clean it up?! I'm a flower!"
"Figure it out. You're the goddess of second chances, remember? Consider this your second chance to make better decisions."
Diana opened her mouth.
Closed it.
Opened it again.
"Nagisa, please!"
Nagisa was already turning away.
"If you manage to undo it yourself, congratulations. Lesson learned." She glanced back over her shoulder with a smirk. "And if not..."
Her eyes flicked toward Diana, rooted at the feet of the gigantic queen while trying very hard not to look too pleased about being there.
"I'll come back in a week and turn you back. Probably."
"PROBABLY?!"
But Nagisa was already gone, vanishing into a swirl of black mist.
The garden became quiet again.
Diana stared at the place where her mentor had disappeared.
Then slowly looked around.
At the endless flowers.
At the dozens of smiling alraune girls.
At Phelia.
The gigantic queen smiled down at her and opened her arms.
"Come here, my sweet little flower."
Diana's face went bright red.
She absolutely did not want to go.
She had no intention whatsoever of curling up against Phelia's blossom-throne and letting herself be praised and doted on.
That would be ridiculous.
Completely ridiculous.
"...Okay," Diana whispered.
And a second later, she was happily snuggled against her mother's vines along with hundreds of her new sisters.