In the past, I've always been pretty transparent here about my thoughts and ideas about what happens on this site and what my ideas are. But I'll be honest with you. I have no idea if any of this can still exist.
I'm demotivated. I've been doing this for over 10 years now, and I've never been so demotivated. Fucking AI is everywhere. Censorship is everywhere. My X/Twitter account gets banned, while AI child porn can still fucking exist on social media like DeviantArt and Twitter/X.
I'll be honest with you, there's no growth here. I work my ass off; I've written stories, drawn pictures by hand, and put in thousands and thousands of hours of work, just so people can upload my stuff for free on some websites. They even give away entire folders of my work without me seeing a single cent of it. I can really understand when people don't want to pay for it; everyone is free to do so. But giving MY work away to others for free? Fuck you if you're reading this.
That's why I am infinitely grateful to EVERYONE who has ever supported me. Some people have spent thousands of dollars here over the years. You helped me with my education as a graphic designer. I was able to live my childhood dream because I always wanted to be an artist and share my pictures with people. Making a living from it is simply an incredible enrichment in my life. So THANK YOU!
But unfortunately, it's not enough anymore. Life is getting more and more expensive. The euro-dollar exchange rate is terrible. Taxes are deducted, and Patreon takes a cut for itself. At 32, I still live in a shared apartment with two other people. Simply because I LOVE doing this job. I do without vacations and luxuries, without showing off or any other great things. I am happy with the small things I have. Such as a wonderful girlfriend, who is also supporting me here, helps me with ideas, and always has my back. Or that this is my hobby and my work at the same time; I love the freedom and that I can do whatever I want.
Unfortunately, obstacles keep getting put in my way (bans, AI, robbery, or even the algorithm). That's why I'm thinking about whether all of this is still worth it. Do people even want to see my work anymore when they can download AI slop or generate their own AI slop because it's cheaper than supporting a real artist?
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to assert myself over the last few years, and other big NSFW artists have overtaken me. I don't know why or what I did wrong. Unfortunately, that's just how it is now. I want to be honest with you: I don't know what to do anymore. Should I keep doing this until I go under? Should I learn something new, since graphic designers are no longer in demand because of AI? I don't know.
Thanks for reading this anyway.
Peace out