Dear Patrons,
I hope 2025 has been treating you well. I know globally it’s a period of seismic conflict and upheaval. For some time, I’ve been finding myself mostly defaulting to ‘receive’ rather than ‘broadcast’ mode, just taking in what’s going on in the world. But a few of you have asked if I’d post an update and I must oblige!
news
A few months ago, construction work began on the neighbouring block of flats here. Thought I might eventually start zoning out from the noise, but the industrial drilling breaks up all thought like a baby’s cry. And not just the sound. It’s literally shaken the place to its foundations. Started to notice a series of structural problems in our building. We’ve had fissures appear in our walls, cracked and dislodged glass in our windows, internal water damage and, to cap it all, a carbon monoxide leak. So there’s been a revolving door of work men, which looks set to continue for some time.
Fortunately, after years of limbo, my and my brother’s inheritance finally came through. The executors of my parents’ estate included the golden child half-sister and we were treated as hostile parties. But we kept a neutral tone, gave any necessary information when requested and just waited for the process to resolve. I know some of you know how sweet it feels when all ties to an old poison are completely cut.
this year’s uploads
Through the disruption — outside and in — of the last few months, been working on four new videos.
The first — pictured in the post — is a request that’s chimed with a lot of correspondence over the years: what does a ‘good parent’ actually look like? Lots of parents have expressed doubts about their competence — even wondered if they’ve harmed their children’s development. And lots of adult children have questioned whether their parents’ behaviour was reasonable. So I break down the bare essentials of the parent’s job, keeping in mind some of the examples sent to me. And I reflect on a handful of common parenting styles to see how well they measure up. With the parenting styles that fail, I look at why they fail and explore some studies into some of their long-term effects.
The second video will include the question I posted here on the stairs metaphor. Without giving too much away, the stairs metaphor was the subject of a bizarre claim from a famous individual on whose ideas I’ll be doing a deep dive. He’s been lauded over the decades as a genius. But I dare say, for many of the folks who’ve succumbed to that mythic image, reading his actual work would be like reading a holy scripture you once presumed to contain only the purest wisdom — only to find swathes of laughable nonsense and disturbing savagery.
a recommendation
From this year’s handful of bedtime reads, I must recommend a stand-out title: The House of my Mother by Shari Franke. As some of you will know, Shari is the oldest daughter of Ruby Franke, a Mormon matriarch who promoted herself as a model mother on the YouTube channel ‘8 Passengers’ — and was in 2024 convicted on multiple counts of aggravated child abuse. Barely into her twenties, Shari writes with exceptional insight, dissecting the special brand of psychological warfare encountered when authoritarian religious beliefs and personality disorders mix. Knowledge of the eventual positive outcome made the repulsive details of this harrowing story easier to bear.
I’ll leave it there for just now.
I hope you and yours are safe and well.
Peace,
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