I've gotten a lot of comments throughout the years from random strangers online about what I do for a living and whilst I usually take it on the chin, recently someone called me an, "Internet Whore."
And for some bizarre reason, that comment lit a fire under my ass.
I don't consider myself a sex worker because despite the nature of what I do, my intention behind all of my work is to tell stories and create art. Not once have I gotten on the internet and taken my tits out for people to ogle at. Not once have I had someone's dick inside me or pussy on me in front of a camera because my goal with my platform, since day one, is to create. And hey, if that's something you're fine with doing, more power to you! It's just not what I have in mind in terms of my content creation and artistic journey.
Not to say adult films aren't a form of art and self expression, but I do think there is a slight (if not massive) difference between having a sex scene in a story vs. the entire story being sex. But it doesn't matter what I consider or perceive myself to be. Miserable people will continue to call me a whore, despite consuming the art I and others make (and most likely more egregious/unethical forms of said "art" too).
I don't want to turn this into a whole speech about how the internet is toxic and how people love to weaponize culture wars online and hate nuance, but I will say - no matter what we plebeians do, we will never win. The world does not give a single flying fuck about the ditch diggers, the delivery drivers, the corporate drones, the auditioning actor, the starving artist. Whether you are a woman or a man, gay or straight, cisgender or transgender, a sex worker or a consumer of sex work, we will never win no matter what we do on the internet and in the real world because there will always be awful people who live dogshit lives, terrified of chasing their dreams and aspirations who resort to hurting and brutalizing people just minding their own business, creating art, trying to make something of themselves, living their own lives free and unapologetically, just to feel something within themselves.
And in the face of all that, all we can do is create safe, ethical spaces where we can write the stories we want to write, draw the pictures we want to draw, sing the songs we want to sing, and live our best lives.
I often think about the saying that the "best revenge is no revenge at all" and in a way, it's true. At the end of the day, when you live your life true to your vision, in spite of the programming you received as a child, in spite of being told that you'll never amount to anything, in spite of being told that your dreams are unrealistic or you'll go to hell for not following your family's rules to the letter, and that version of you is thriving, that is the best form of revenge. Your existence in love and light and creation pisses these horrible people off so bad that they lose sleep over you. YOU! A RANDOM ON THE INTERNET! Isn't that crazy?
(Not to say that if someone decks you in the face you turn the other cheek. I know you were raised with more sense than that.)
In any case, if you've read this far, thank you. Thank you for sticking by me despite all of the changes going on in my life and within the community. It means the absolute world to me that you all would continue to support this "Internet Whore."
Take care,- L π