https://open.spotify.com/track/6lYUgmE829m06SMC6tG3qD?si=f027db64e660439cplease have this song playing while enjoying this set of photos and the following parts, it will be the theme throughout the entire set. These particular series is dedicated to my friend, blank. I don't think blank would like that though.I feel sometimes I smother people with my affection, but I also think I just apply it to the wrong people, the people who do not need or want it, the people who I know will reject it because they don't have that capability, capacity...like they don't know how to receive love, intensity, the burrowing eyes of affection that want to peer deeply into someone, something and know what intimacy is for blank. breathe. I choose people who do not always choose me.I am correcting that daily. but I know I am just resisting the pain of my pattern of choosing blank who doesn't need any of this from me. I am holding both things, like weighted scales and attempt to find my balance.
From what little I know, I think blank needs space to tell themselves a story, true or untrue, about their loneliness and feel the highs and lows of their condition without expectation.If I told blank how I felt, I know I would just create more separation, that thick ick of closeness and intimacy is a veritable repellent to blank, every time I inch closer with a question or care, blank take steps backward, when I am silent and hoping to be chose blank follows the pattern of loss of interest, and as I look at this fine web we've spun together in my imagination, the perception of unreality never to be confirmed or denied, I realize it's my participating that yields this outcome. Because I know better, I know better than to play this part. why do we care for the wrong people for familiarities sake?a depiction of isolation in the form of the familiar in exchange for the cost of the new.