An Update From The Trenches: An Apology, My Thanks, and Getting On With Life
Over the past decade I’ve undergone my share of metamorphoses, wrapped in silk or baptized in flames depending on the occasion. This past year in particular I’ve felt myself fighting change and grasping at the gentleness of an era I sleepwalked my way through. While this has come at great personal, professional, mental, and emotional cost to myself, I regret that the audience and community I’ve built over these years has been left to guess at where I’m at and how I’m doing and when the next drop is.
I kept waiting to be healed, or saved, or relieved so I might be able to return with good news and an abundance of gifts to reward you for all of the patience and grace you’ve shown me. Then the distance became measured on a calendar rather than a clock. The gaping maw at the end of this tunnel seemed to consume all light that might hope to come my way. There never has been a right time to begin living again when you’ve experienced loss, or grief, or trauma.
I’ve watched celebrations pass me by. Holidays, anniversaries, and all of those moments of joy that are meant for creating memories with others. My most precious resource is time, and I feel as though I’ve set the past year ablaze when I don’t have a whole lot to spare. I’ll be wrestling with that bitterness for a while longer.
So, with my birthday fast approaching, I’ve decided that I have to get on with life before it goes on without me. I suspect whatever productivity I will wring out of myself will be raw and unrefined as I knock off the rust and find my voice once again, but it’s time to get to work and start hustling.
I’m not sure what the future holds creatively, but I’ll be throwing myself at whatever inspires me to pursue my purpose. To tell stories, ignite passionate hearts and minds with my creativity, and moan with a respectable amount of indignity.
I’ve been trying in the dark, it certainly won’t hurt to try in the light.
I'm sorry things have been such a mess. My greatest goal for the rest of this year is to reward you all for all of the love and grace you've given me by getting in the kitchen and cooking up some absolute bangers.
I would love for you to join me on March 16th at 6pm CT for a birthday livestream! We’ll catch up, talk a little shop, and if anyone would like to send birthday cards or gifts I can open those on stream! Obviously any sort of digital cards and gifts are welcome, but I’ve been so detached from things that having physical notes and cards would work wonders on my mental health. Care packages of all sorts are welcome, but no baked/cooked goods please. Sealed snacks, candy, etc. are all good. I find wishlists like Throne really exhausting to put together, so we’re just gonna do it the old fashioned way.
Birthday cards! Letters! Postcards! Doodles! It can be a simple card, it can be a multi-page handwritten letter. I would love to have a big bundle of love I can display somewhere in my home to remind myself how many people are cheering me on.
Perishables like snacks, candy, tea, coffee (ground or pods), of all sorts would be lovely. Do you have a favorite thing you’d like me to try? I’d love to sample it.
Stickers! I’m getting into decorating top loaded pokemon cards K-pop photocard style, so the sort of stickers you’d use for journaling would work nicely. But also big stickers are welcome because I’m decorating binders and stuff. Pokemon and Final Fantasy (VII, VIII, IX, X, XIV (up to endwalker) are my favorites), Hades Game, uhhhhhh I’m forgetting my interests RIP.
Witchy stuff, crystals, spell jar candles, tarot things, etc etc I’ll take it all but it will be subjected to a Vibe Check lol
Pokemon cards, collectibles, etc and so on. I really like trading cards, I’m knee deep in assorted products at this point whether it’s nerdy stuff like Disney Topps cards (or Marvel…or Star Wars…lol) and even sports, NFL and WWE specifically. Whether it’s sealed or you’ve got some neat stuff you think I’d enjoy, you can’t go wrong there.
Gift cards are super valid. Literally a gift card for anything would work. Gamestop, any retail place, etc and so forth.
Literally anything. It could be a little doober that made you go “this made me think of Yuuri, one of the boys, etc” and I’d be floored.
And if you need to pick my brain, or get feedback on idea, you can always reach out to the mods on Discord or hit me in a Tumblr ask, or here in the comments, you know. Wherever you get your YuuriVoice.
You can send things to the PO Box below:
Team YuuriVoicePO Box 2384Cedar Park, TX 78630
Thank you for reading all of this, it was written at the office the first time I’ve been here in…..a while. I appreciate you all so much. I hope we can hang out, enjoy the boys, and get on with moving forward soon.