[GG | Ch 14] Lines | Cover+Mini Cover+699-707

Finally actually really for real started working on chapter 14!

After having been art blocked in terms of G&G since like last september, I'm finally not art blocked again.

A bit of a yap, feel free to skip it:

My problem was being burnt out from G&G, I think. Idk if burnout is the right term, but I just couldn't physically work on new pages anymore. While finishing up chapter 13 last year in August/September, I almost couldn't bring it to an end because my body refused to work on it. My brain was feeling like pushing against a massive wall.

It's been 10 years since I started G&G. I changed. My relationship to my comic changed. When I take a look at the actual comic pages of G&G now, I realise bitterly that it's "just another BL-esque story", and that bugs me. I never saw it like that, and fought against it being presented like that through the publisher, and get annoyed at readers only seeing the Piet love triangle BL arc. WHICH IS WHAT THIS COMIC CONSISTS OF, basically. Where did I go wrong? Why do I see my own comic as something that it isn't? I'm so confused!

It took a long time to work through my tangled feelings. I realised I needed to finish this project as quickly as possible. So I cut it down as much as I could. I edited the script again and again. It's now 16 chapters long, so 3 more to go (13 are finished).

But I also still wanted to include some of the things that actually scratch my itch, like the TimThea arc, but different than it was presented until now. I'm not very fond of their scenes, it's like they aren't interesting anymore. Because me/you (?) need the drama! The kisses! The weird things! And Tim and Thea aren't weird as by now. I wanted to make them weirder.

Or what about Henry and Levi? I always wanted them to do stuff together, but I couldn't find a way to get them there without it being massively questionable. Maybe with more time, more scenes ... Henry would need a reason to smooch Levi while still having feelings for Piet. Difficult. Or he's getting over Piet, and then is able to smooch Levi? Without feelings for Levi? Would it be just experimentation? By which rules would they get close? But since they got a veto from the publisher anyway and I'm mentally done with G&G myself, I don't need to find a solution for that anyway anymore.

I like weird stuff, but it needs to make sense. The characters need to be believable. The reader has to understand why a character chooses to do [weird thing].

So, the weird things that I actually thought G&G was about aren't actually in G&G. That's a strange realisation. I think they shine through here and there, but aren't part of the visible plot.

For the small rest of G&G I had left to fill, I focused on scenes that make my heart ache the most, or that give me a good feeling. So there will be a Piet breakdown that hurts me. There will be scenes between the brothers, because they are so very dear to me. And then a light breeze towards the end of the comic. Something hopeful, something freeing. I hope I will get it across nicely and that it makes you feel something too. Writing the ending of this long series feels very strange. Especially giving it a hopeful touch, because that's usually not my thing, hah. But having it end miserably doesn't feel right.Okay, I think I'm done yapping for now. It's liberating to type this stuff out from time to time. My head is spilling over sometimes.