Chapter 130
Love of Mine
The first time Tobias merged with his clone was terrifying. His clone had been overwhelmed with concern that it was going to disappear, that this was the end of its existence, and that all he was and all he had accomplished was about to become a memory. He understood the technique he had built and how it was supposed to work, but that didn't change the fact that his body would disappear the moment they touched. Tobias remembered having to coax his clone and be coaxed to begin the merging process. The buildup was an unpleasant experience for both sides, but the merger was effortless.
Both of them experienced the life the other had lived as their memories flowed together. His clone experienced his real body pulling himself out of the mirror, having a short chat with Peace Master So, and then continuing his day. His real body experienced being pulled from his body and then being subjected to Peace Master So's endless questions. It wasn't like living two separate lives but being in two places at once. When he came back together, he continued as both, but slowly over time, those two identities merged back into one, becoming whole again. Each felt as if they lived on, forming a new identity that was the sum of both their experiences.
This was the reason the technique didn't work before the core realm. The mortal mind was not capable of holding all those identities within itself or merging them into one. He was both his clone and himself, separately and together, until they became one. It was hard to explain, but it felt like he never lost his identity and that he always lived on.
He was just in fewer places.
Tobias took a seat on the spirit moss beside his main body, examining his old face. The divine beauty transformation he had undergone so long ago was part of the reason he'd been so intrigued by the Blossoms and the dao that surrounded them. The other part was the divine beauty pill he had consumed centuries ago. They were pieces of the dao of hidden beauty, so when he encountered their dao whole and unbroken, he could not help but try to understand it.
Tobias reflected on how such minor events in his life had ultimately led him to find love. It was a reminder that you never truly knew which moments in your life would shape your future. Without those influences, Tobias knew he never would have become a Blossom. He would have been like every other cultivator who passed through their gates. Blind to the dao of hidden beauty. Blind to the possibility that there might be more.
When Tobias was finished musing, he gently nudged his consciousness with his aura to pull himself out of seclusion. He knew that this time would be different from the others. His dao enlightenments would allow him to merge seamlessly without any delay.
A few minutes later, his main body opened his eyes, turned to him, and smiled. "Why do I feel like I'm looking at an older, wiser and happier version of myself?"
Tobias chuckled as he looked into his own eyes and saw so much of his old self. The hidden anger and bitterness were still there, along with all the incorrect assumptions he had made. "That's because you are."
His smile turned sad. "We broke Xu Ling's heart when we disappeared. Not in the beginning, but as the decades dragged on, she felt more and more abandoned. She has lived centuries through her clone without us by her side, and that was exactly what she feared when she told us she couldn't love us."
"I know. I wanted her to come with us, but she wouldn't have if I asked. She wasn't willing to admit that she was in love with us then, and by the time she likely was, I couldn't reach her."
"She loves us? You're sure?"
Tobias nodded and watched a happy smile blossom across his old face. "We have learned a lot while we were gone. We can now see what is hidden in others' hearts. Xu Ling is in love with us."
"Are we still in love with her?"
"Yes, but we had to move on."
The smile turned sad again. "Why did we do it. Why did we leave?"
Tobias returned the sad smile with his own. "Because we harmed a little girl and had to make it right."
Tobias's main body sighed. "You know, Servant Ho woke me from seclusion because he thought Lung Zhi had destroyed you. I was as surprised as he was to find out that wasn't the case. What happened?"
"We didn't consider who we were giving advice to and didn't care at the time because we thought it would keep our clan safe. Lung Zhi gave birth to a daughter. She has lost so many children on her path to immortality that she cannot bear to look at those who might not reach it. When she discovered she wasn't born a prodigy, she treated her as a tool. She opened Lung Mei's stomach meridian at six years old and forcefully created her foundation, rushing her to the core realm by the age of eight. She tried to send her into the mountains alone when she was done with her. It was easier for her to see her die than love her for longer than she already had."
"You intervened."
"Yes. Nothing we said could change who she was, so we made Lung Mei our direct disciple and made Lung Zhi promise to share nothing of what had happened. I disappeared into the outside world to fix the damage we caused."
Tobias scowled. "You should have pulled me from seclusion."
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of a child, and you were needed to progress our cultivation so we could understand how to safely enter the sage realm."
"I can tell you have the answer I'm supposed to be looking for just by looking at you."
"That was an accident. I have found the last few centuries most enlightening. The last few decades have been particularly valuable."
His main body looked toward the palace. "Who are the other two?"
"Our other disciples."
"What have you done to that sword saints' cultivation?"
"Nothing."
"How is that possible? I don't understand what I'm looking at."
"I do, but I can't take it further while restricted."
Tobias turned and stared at their bedroom, where Hun Jia was unpacking. "Is she the one we fell in love with?"
"We are still falling, a little more each day."
Tobias's main body smiled. "How did we meet?"
"She was one of our teachers when we were learning how to be a courtesan."
"We learned how to be a courtesan."
"Learned, mastered, and spent several years as an active professional in Ming City. We were quite famous. You will understand why when we merge."
"Tell me one thing."
"You want to know if it was worth it."
"Yes."
"Our daughter is jumping on her bed, happy and whole, able to live like everyone else. That is worth everything it cost us and more."
Tobias's main body held out his hand. "I look forward to watching her grow up."
"The first few decades are rough, but things get better as time goes on. Anything interesting on your end?"
"You will have to wait and see."
Tobias laughed as he took his hand and experienced the other life that he had lived. It wasn't nearly as interested and watching Xu Ling's pain and frustration grow every time he came out of seclusion hurt. But he couldn't change the past, only the future. Despite centuries of memories merging together, the whole process was over in three seconds.
The two halves of the whole looked at each other behind one pair of eyes. They wove their understanding of the dao of beauty to create a beautiful existence that was once again whole.
Tobias raised his hand and stored the clothes that had fallen on the ground into his storage ring, before picking up his other storage ring and transferring everything over and looking at Hun Fen with new eyes and a deeper connection to dao.
Being in the nascent soul realm caused you to see not just hear dao whispers, and when he looked at Hun Fen, he saw her way forward. As a clone, he had only possessed a single layer to his golden core. Each additional layer offered more clarity. As a clone, he had been comprehending dao well above what he should have been capable of, and those thoughts he had struggled with now came effortlessly.
Tobias moved into the lotus position and accelerated his mind, making dao comprehensions by weaving together insights he had previously seen no links between, but were now obvious. Comprehensions offered other insights, and those insights offered other comprehensions until he reached dao enlightenment. He opened his eyes as a nine-petal Blossom, understanding the beauty of hidden truths and that he was a fake living sword.
His foundation was built on stolen insights, which prevented him from attaining the deeper understanding of sword dao associated with achieving the living sword. He would need to rebuild his foundation from scratch, but that would take months, so he rose to his feet and crossed his realm with a single step.
He didn't fold reality. He merely propelled himself forward with a technique. The technique took him through his bedroom window, placing him beside the woman he still loved.
Tobias wrapped one hand around her waist, dipped her, and kissed her deeply, before pulling back and placing her upright.
Hun Jia slid her hands around his waist and gave him a radiant smile, seeing his hidden heart and knowing he was the same man who had been when he left her to unpack. "It's nice to finally meet you, my love."
Tobias smirked. "Are you suggesting that up until now we've been doing nothing but flirting from a distance?"
Hun Jia blushed. "Certainly not, but you have to admit the man I met in Ming City is only part of who you are."
Tobias leaned down and kissed her again. "Would you like to get acquainted with the rest of me?"
"I think you're the one interested in getting acquainted with me."
"Any objections?"
Hun Jia kissed him back. "You'll find none from me, but your sect sisters and brothers may object to being left outside."
Tobias projected Hun Jia's reminder to Servant Ho as he kissed her again, before smiling. "You'll find that one of the benefits of being the concubine of the patriarch of the Finch Clan is that if you ever want his undivided attention, all you need to do is send Servant Ho to fill in for him."
Hun Jia smiled, closed the windows and the door with her aura, then leapt onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist. "If these are the sorts of benefits I gain from being your concubine, I think I'm going to like my new position."
Tobias ended whatever playful comment she was going to say next with a kiss that didn't end until they were both dizzy.
***
That evening, Tobias took Hun Jia for a stroll through the gardens. There were many things he had to do, but her happiness was more important than catching up on administrative work or preparing for his clan's return. Tobias guided Hun Jia to the railing, leaned against it, and nodded to the man and woman cultivating in the garden.
"This is Xu Feng, my spymaster. And Xu Ling, the other love of my life and the reason I was so hesitant to love you."
Hun Jia leaned against his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "Did you know she loved you?"
"I always suspected."
"Did you know she was terrified of losing you?"
"Yes."
"Do you know why she's so scared?"
"I used to think it was because she grew up watching her father live without her mother. Now that I can see her heart, I have no idea why she's so scared."
"My love, how can you be so wise and so blind?"
"It was a habit I picked up when I met a beautiful woman who could do my thinking for me."
"I'm not being playful. I'm honestly surprised you haven't noticed or put it together yet."
Tobias frowned. "Put what together?"
Hun Jia turned Tobias until he was looking towards his palace in the distance. "Look at your disciples and tell me what you see?"
Tobias extended his aura.
Hun Fen was examining his collection of swords. Ming Dia Lu was tearing through his library and giggling with excitement. Lung Mei was wandering around the gardens, ogling the men in his family. They had all taken a divine beauty pill and were much more attractive than most.
Tobias described what he saw while making plans to point out who was and wasn't married, so she didn't cause any problems.
Hun Jia squeezed his hand and turned him back to look at Xu Ling. "You call my daughter a mortal goddess, and you still don't see it, do you?"
"See what?"
"If my daughter is a goddess trapped in a mortal form, what does that make other prodigies?"
"Lucky."
"No. They're immortals cast down from the realm above to climb back up."
"It's an interesting theory."
"Everything you've taught me and everything I've taught myself says that while immortals do not age, they can still be killed. And if they can be killed, what do you think happens to them when they die?"
"They return to the cycle of reincarnation."
"Yes. But what happens to their dao?"
"What do you mean?"
"Immortals strengthen their dao, so the heavens recognise them as an absolute. An absolute cannot be destroyed. So, what happens to the parts of an immortal that remain untouchable after death?"
Tobias seriously considered the question because he was now honestly intrigued.
One of the first things he'd been taught about cultivation was that cultivators were trying to steal a piece of the heavily dao from the gods. Tobias had since proven that this was entirely wrong. Cultivators were not stealing dao from anyone, merely understanding or incorporating it into themselves while they strengthened their own dao.
One of the prerequisites for reaching immortality was having a dao that was strong enough to survive in that realm. This could be done by borrowing another dao or strengthening your own. If it was done by strengthening your own, then your dao was essentially a universal law, and universal laws could not be destroyed.
So, what happened to immortal's dao if they were killed? The obvious answer was that their dao remained, and their soul moved on. However, that soul was now tied to a universal law. They were essentially more real than other mortals. They may not remember their previous life, but the universe did. And because the universe remembered them, it favoured them.
Hun Jia smiled as she realised Tobias understood. "Prodigies are immortals who have returned to mortality. It's why they come with so much baggage. My daughter and her sister act like women who have found their dao partners. Their eyes do not stray, and their hearts are closed to falling in love with others. And yet, they are more confident and secure in themselves than they have any right to be."
They had discussed trying to find his disciples husbands, but neither had felt the need to push them, because they were so happy on their own. Tobias hadn't realised Hun Jia had been trying to figure out why this might be so.
"Have you met dao partners?"
Hun Jia smiled, as if remembering a happier time, and nodded. "It was shortly after I gained my enlightenment. They lived a few streets over from the sect. I watched them meet for the first time. I watched them fall in love. And I watched them grow old together. I watched the confidence and peace they had after finding their dao partner, and I recognise that same confidence and peace in Hun Fen and Ming Dia Lu."
Tobias was even more intrigued now. "You don't see that in Xu Ling?"
Hun Jia shook her head. "I see a woman who has climbed her way to immortality over and over again, falling in love each time, only to leave her lovers behind. The accumulated loss has been imprinted on her dao, becoming a burden she must carry into each new life. She doesn't know why she's so scared of losing you. She doesn't know why she's so afraid to commit. All she knows is that loving you is the scariest thing she will ever do, and she's not brave enough to face that."
"I'm not saying you're right, but I'm also not saying you're wrong. This is by far the best theory I've ever heard to explain why prodigies exist. If you need anything for your research, ask Servant Ho."
Hun Jia leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You have no idea the things I was prepared to do for that assistance."
Tobias turned and gentle kissed her. "I'm sure you'd be willing to show me to relieve my curiosity."
Hun Jia smiled and turned back to Xu Ling. "You're going to guide her to the dao of hidden beauty, aren't you?"
Tobias nodded.
"You know what that will do to her?"
"She'll be able to get over her fears."
"Which means your mother will be more than happy to marry you to her, since she will only see me as a mortal concubine who refuses to cultivate."
Tobias smiled despite hearing the concern in her tone. "Xu Ling's years away from coming out of seclusion. I'll make sure my family sees you for who you are long before that happens."
Hun Jia turned back and kissed him. "Good. I hope we can be friends."
"We'll only know when she awakens."
"Perhaps if I like her and she likes me, I'll let you marry her anyway. After seeing your home, I've come to realise that a man of your standing really should have four wives and a harem."
Tobias snorted but played along. "She'd want to be my first wife, so you would have to treat her word as law."
Hun Jia grinned as she gave a fake sigh. "Well, that's not going to happen. I can't have anyone telling me when I can and can't spend time with you."
"I could always provide you with a clone."
"And now she's suddenly the perfect candidate for your first wife."
"You just don't want to deal with the responsibility of being my wife now that you understand how powerful and large my clan is."
"I thought I made that clear by trying to find you a wife?"
"Didn't you start this conversation off by mentioning how blind I am?"
"You're right. It's my fault for expecting too much from you."
Tobias leaned down and threw Hun Jia over his shoulder.
Hun Jia laughed and shouted. "What is the meaning of this, Patriarch Finch?"
"I humoured you by showing you your competition, and now I'm going to prove to you why you don't need to worry."
"I know I don't need to worry, my love."
Tobias crossed his clan's hidden realm in a single step, arriving in his bedroom. "I'm just making sure."
Hun Jia continued to laugh as he threw her onto the bed. "Well, it's good to be certain about these things."