(A reminder that Meorenell Decade is equal to 8 years, Century to 64 years, and Millennium to 512)
General History
“Deify Her Hips and Thighs!”
The largest of the Four Great Nations. The history of the Empire of Hips and Thighs is as vast as its territory. A civilization that flourished, fell, and rose again.
The first Thighlanders were the Giants who befriended the Zemali. Frightened by the already arising conflict between the other tribes so early, they traveled north from the Sea of Birth, to a land they considered safer and more fertile. Today, it is presumed that the reason why the Crumblings were never that common in the Thigh region is because the Meora’s Bottom was so massive and heavy that it Crumbled under its own weight into flatty plains long before the rest of Her Gorgeousness even begun to crack, and therefore any subsequent Crumblings were negligible and did not pose much danger to the people living there.
The Giants were indeed… giants. They ate bigly and slept as big. They would begin plowing the fields with their bare hands from one horizon to the other, while the Zemali more gently cultivated the soil afterward. They planted seeds brought from the Waist Region, but also grew new greenery found in these new lands: grain, taproots, and winding gourds, which grew as enormous in size as the towering sistren. Although this was not enough in the first decades, especially during the aridification and lean years, the Giants would take years-long naps, not only to wait for the harvest, but also in the hope that when they awoke, new friends would appear among them.
Later, the Paleolithicc Period begun – a great migration to the north. Some tribes sought a climate appropriate to their biology, while other simply wanted their own green pastures. The biggest of these were the Ardem and [REDACTED], whose population was already growing too rapidly, and they had no choice but to move and establish new settlements further and further north with each passing century. Many of the remaining ancient ruins throughout the Thighs region were evidently build by Ardem and [REDACTED], which makes it difficult to understand about the overall migration of other tribes that subsequently followed into this regions. As the Ardem were numerous in Meority, their culture had a strong influence on the culture of the surrounding sistren, especially that of the Thighlanders. One such cultural trait, of course, was their notion for the Expressions of the Body, which can simply be explained as “the body is art”, but even greater influence was exerted by their love of the Bottom – Meora’s, others, and their own.
Eventually, sometime in the early Age of Crumbling, the Giants gathered and left... only to to never return. They completed their last deeds for the sistren they cherished, built massive arks, and set sail across the unknown Ocean to the lands we now know as the Cursed Islands, where they perished from Umbral pestilences and afflictions, and their bones were gnawed by the Serpent’s spawn.
Over the course of millennia, civilized tribes settled all over the Northern Continent of Her Gorgeousness, reaching as far as to the southern plaguelands of the Crus. Many states arose, prosper, and rival each other for pity reasons in primitive wars – smaller ones were engulfed by greater vanquishers, while bigger ones would split into new kingdoms. As genuine records were lost due to several dark periods of history in the Thigh Region, these nations are named after cities and provinces that stand on their place today. Particularly noteworthy states in the twentieth century UAA were: Bedroya, located at the confluence of the Garterbelt River and the Stocking Canyon; Zopa and Azzyeder, the largest provinces of the southern buttock, between the Garterbelt River and the Tail Continent; the Medius Horde – a nation of nomads claiming absolute authority over the western territories of the Great Thigh Plateau, from the Knee Region to the Stocking Canyons; Koleus, the Kingdom of the Knee Region; Yagodus, a powerful kingdom on the northern buttock; and Okorokiya – the richest empire in the northern Jungles.
By that time, every big nation and every small city already worshiped Meora’s Bottom. Everyone deified Her Gorgeousness, for the food provided by Her fertile hips, for the clean waters flowing down Her thighs, for the beautiful weather mantling Her haunch. Although many churches conflicted and argued, unable to agree on which facets of the Bottom are truly divine, they nevertheless united in the understanding that the Gorgeousness of the Bottom is multifaceted, and everyone can find Joy in it, and that is why it is divine.
***
Relatively far away from the dangers of the Cursed Islands, majority Thighlanders rarely encountered any Jealous Beastiary or the Warped, let alone experience full-scale Envasions. All that changed in the twentieth century UAA when the Brood of the Crus, who had remained ominously silent all this time, finally moved south, devouring cities and desecrating Her Gorgeousness with their presence – a conflict that would go down in history as the Pestilential Cellulite.
The Thighland armies, untrained to wage war against such an enemy in such numbers, could not protect either themselves nor their sistren – the war was lost the very day it began. The wave of refuges from the north was growing every month, treading on generosity of the cities that were yet to be extinguished.
With each city devoured, more refugees fell a burden on other cities; with each passing year, it became increasingly harder for the south to remain a sanctuary. The wave of darkness showed no sign of stopping. To repel the Brood, an equal force was required – an army capable of driving them back, purifying the perilous fallout, and restoring the cities that were once great. After four decades of loss, such army ultimately sprung up – Azzyeder, Zopa and Yagodus banded together, pledging allegiance to the benevolent [REDACTED], Empress of the [REDACTED] tribe... and thus the Hegemony was born.
To sustain such an army and cast them victorious, absolute order and discipline were necessary – a willing surrender of one's own future for a higher purpose, a determination to follow a path devoid of freedom. The former inhabitants of the lost Thighlands, who had been fleeing all this time, overcame the fear that followed them and vowed their lives to a purpose, so that the future generations will live prosperous and joyful lives on the lands that are theirs. They united under one goal, one rule, one life and one death; all were equal.
The extent, form, and size of the Brood remained unknown, but with the advice and knowledge of the honorable Knight-emissaries from the Kingdom of Bosom, a hopeful campaign was planned. It took three years of tireless toil for the Hegemony to prepare for the first Crusade: three legions, ninety thousand soldiers and archers, including cooks, medics, and Purification troops, as well as a large number of mounted archers and Engifted Cavalry, which became aesthetically known for their kite shields and winged armor – each provided with several of disposable mounts that would most likely succumb to the Umbral corruption in every battle. Most of the legionnaires, of course, were Ardem and [REDACTED], who had been displaced by the Brood, chosen for their craving desire to return home. In additionally, a vast web of thousands of scouts from among the Datars, Feyas, and Khamesh was assembled, who were to traverse and live in the enemy-occupied lands, observing the Brood's activities and rescue settlements not yet discovered by the Hellish Spawn.
By the time the First Crusade begun, the Pestilential Cellulite had already reached the Stocking Canyons and the Golden Lake. Its primary objectives were to secure all the fertile farmlands, necessary to support the current population and any future Crusades, and to halt the further advance of the Brood. Both goal were successfully achieved. But thousands of vehement Engifted burned themselves to ashes in the very first, most difficult battles, giving their lives to stop the tide of darkness.
The main Legionate tactic was the cunning of hit-and-run maneuvers – swift and precise strikes at the most desolated and disorganized herds of Umbral Horrors, a barrage of alchemical arrows, and an eschewal to engage in prolonged battles in order to avoid being surrounded and overwhelmed by these monstrosities.
The Brood was as impatient and reckless as the Leviathan that had birthed and led them. In their eagerness to conquer the world after the initial easy victories, the Umbral herds were not coordinating their Envasion nor wasting time to root the corruption into the soil they already seized. But even with the support of the Tumish volunteer armies, it took eighteen Crusades for the Hegemony to repel the Pestilential Cellulite out of Thigh Region. The campaign, which lasted five centuries and costing millions of lives, ended in fifteenth century UAA. It took even more centuries to cleanse the lands, purify the ruins of destroyed cities, and exterminate the remaining enemies. Regretfully, the young Leviathan of the Crus was not slain at that time, but escaped to spawn more Horrors in preparations for another Envasion... until the Aspects were begotten, and the first Angel of Candor cleansed the plaguelands with holy storms and hailfall.
The Thigh Region was fully re-conquered by the Hegemony around the ninth century UAA. However, the worst outcome of the Pestilential Cellulite became the Hegemony itself – the undisputed savior at first, but... that's a topic we shalln’t talk here, while we revere the history of the great Empire of Hips and Thighs.
***
A millennium later, when the Grievous Strife ended, the Thighlanders were just disjointed cultures and civilizations – cities attempting to rebuild themselves anew for a new Age, not yet trusting each other, but at least hoping to do so. However, not a single province was as prosperous as the already restored Azzyeder, no ruler as great and experienced as the venerable First Empress of Meat, Bootillia Slapis. And all nations commended the Azzyeder and it citizen for the efforts in the war against the Hegemony.
Under the guidance of Bootillia Slapis, in the very short time after the uprising ignited by the Sanguineous Moth and death of the tyrannical Royal Family, Azzyeder became a crossroad of alliances in the war against the Hegemony, crucial for victorious continuation of the conflict. The Allied Kingdoms of Talia, the free people of the Tail Nations, and the rebel cells of Thighlanders were able to cooperate with ease, drawing on Bootillia Slapis’s detailed knowledge of the Hegemony inner secrets – a perfectly mapped advantages and drawbacks, an immense knowledge acquired during her years of servitude to the local Magistrate.
The two port cities of Azzyeder already existed as a cultural and economic crossroads between the entire Northern Continent, Tail Continent, and the Waist Regions, but the construction of new safe roads and improved river paths through the Garterbelt canyon solidified its position as the irreplaceable capital of the Thicc Road – a network of trade routes spanning over thousands of kilometers
Later, Azzyeder played a central role in facilitating the cultural, political, and religious growth of the Herquisition and the spread of the words of the Aspects. The cipher, used by allies of different cultures and languages to communicate behind the Hegemony’s back, become the common dialect on the streets of Azzyeder: originally based on the forgotten language of the Giants, it expanded with new words and evolved, and today, two millennia later, it is the unifying language of Meority, whose letters are shaped after the sacred symbol of Meora. However, Azzyeder’s true flowering occurred after the passing of the First Empress, at the end of first century, when the true faith return to these lands.
Thighlanders have always worshiped Meora’s Bottom, even since the days of primal civilizations. Although these religions were outlawed by the Hegemony during its reign, the Ardem and Oulfars were ardent believers. They carried their faith through two millennia of the despondency, and their devotion outlived the Hegemony.
The first predecessor to the Church of Thighs was build in Azzyeder at the end of the Age of Crumbling, on the ruins of the old Hegemony prison, as a symbolic act of renewed hope. As more cities were liberated, more and more altars were built expressing awe and worship of the Bottom. But these were fractured, imperfect religions, attempting to imitate the ways-before-the-Hegemony.
That was until Ara de Mona, the Second Angel of Love, was begotten, and all the Thighologies united under one belief – the true faith. The Church of Thighs grew daily, drawing the minds of laypeople who found an appeal in this religion and what it represented. Hundreds of Chapels were erected throughout the province. Citizens of other provinces trusted their faith into Thighology and begged to be annexed under the influence of passion and admiration towards the caring and warmhearted words of the Angel of Love.
The rulers of the neighboring province of Zopa laid their heads upon the Empress’s lap within ten years. By the end of the second century, every noble brow of the Northern Continent had been laid upon Empress’s thighs, and the once-small province, Azzyeder had grown into the Empire of Hips and Thighs. The Golden City on a Golden Lake became the new capital of the new Great Nation, Ara de Mona was proclaimed Matriarch of the Church of Thigh, and the Grand Cathedral of the Golden City was made into the Mother-Church of the Bottom.
The Thigh Region has finally been reborn, truly united for a new Age. And in this new Age it still stands, as the Great Nation that worships Her Bottom and Her Light.
General Geography and Economy
In Responsibility of the Empire of Hips and Thighs is the most diverse ecosystem of the most unique biomes.
The temperature in most of the Thigh Region fluctuates little between seasons, and the length of daylight remains remains virtually unchanged. But the immeasurable Hips of Meora, as fertile as on the day She fell, are complemented by a stable warm climate, the very meager effect of Meorenell’s Ring on the equator, and regular moderate nutrition-abundant rains that come from the east. All this allows the inhabitant upon Her hips and buttocks to grow lush harvests and feed huge herds of animals all year round, setting the Empire of Hips and Thighs into a food table for all of Meority. It generously supports other nations, providing them with endless excess of grain, meat, vegetables and timber as long as the war against the Eternal Serpent lasts.
Although the Thigh Region is renowned for the fertility of its eastern lands, the Great Thigh Plateau is an immense collection of deserts and savannas, that exist because moist sea winds cannot easily reach these high elevations, and the soft sands are tinted pink by dangerous but valuable minerals. Its hottest point, the Stera Plain, is a field of glassy grass, sharp as knifes. Combined with other factors, such as its geographic location and the reflection of the Suns off Meorenell’s ring in summer, the Stera Plain regularly reaches extreme temperatures. It still holds the record for the highest air temperature ever recorded on Her Gorgeousness – seventy degrees, and the record for the highest ground temperature – a hundred degrees.
Furthermore, you can also find giant Mushroom forests, where much of the dirt is actually their mycelium, growing kilometers deep; luminescent steppes of neon and argon grass, colorfully illuminating the night; northern beetroot-carrot tropical jungles; and much, much more. The natural wonders of the Thigh Region also include unique species such as Toorerans: multilimbed, root-looking, skeletonless life forms that collect rocks, branches, bark, or even the bones of other dead animals to utilize these resources as protective shells, movement support, or communication tools (later, some of them began looting urban trash).
What is truly marvelous is that the Thigh Region became a garden for the majority of the Hallow Trees – twelve, which is more than half.
You can also witness some curious meteorological phenomena above the southern Thigh Region and Tail Continent. Meorenell’s ring system creates its own weak gravitational pull, delicately influencing atmospheric circulation patterns over the equatorial regions. Due to the planet’s air composition, this influence can cause atmospheric disturbances and lightning even on a clear day. These disturbances visible for a few minutes, but from time to time they can last for several hours. During these events, people living directly beneath the ring system can observe the Northern and Southern Hemispheres exchanging arches of lightning high in the stratosphere. However, sometimes such phenomena are easily confused with the activities of the Aspect of Candor, who now spends most of her time within the ring itself and only occasionally returns to the planet’s surface.
The most ironic fact is that the power that created the Electrification Era has been known to Thighlanders for millennia, but its only purpose for all this time was for… pleasure and punishment (for pleasure's sake), and nothing more. Now woven into every aspect of our lives, from military equipment to entertainment, the source powering our future was recognized by Imperial scientist just three centuries ago, and little over a century later, it has become a valuable part of the entire Meority.
Today, generating a reliable and sustainable electricity supply is a very convenient process throughout Meorenell: from natural sources such as hydroelectric power plants, to specialized multiplication chambers for vehement Engfited trained to manifesting an energy surge that can easily be converted into electricity for tens of hundreds of thousands of houses in the city.
The foundation for many components of modern electronics are naturally available in huge quantities for subsequent processing in the Great Thigh Plateau. Its pink sands and desert scrub are dotted with copper, tungsten, nickel, cobalt deposits; and a number of bordering valleys contain the largest reserves of high-purity quartz, micas and other valuable silicate minerals in their purest forms.