"sometimes it's important to get some perspective on yourself. look," the gator rumbled, his enormous, torso-sized paw pressing down on your groin and stomach. it feels like being trapped under a leathery car, pinning you to the shag carpeting by the recliner--it feels so heavy, so deliberate, that you feel like a piece of occupied territory. you find yourself staring dazedly at the reptile's huge, clawed toes, slowly flexing uncomfortably close to your face. "you'll feel better," said the gator matter-of-factly, "you'll see."
before he'd even finished, the gator had already used the tiny remote control in his leathery mitt to turn the game up, the cheering crowd ringing in his ears. something about the thick gold bands around the alligator's digits, and the blue light of the tv catching and glinting off of them--you self-consciously wipe the drool from your chin with your forearm.
"see?" the alligator grins, lazily triumphant. "dig in."